Chelle128

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I am just over 8 weeks out from surgery. Things were going great until about three weeks ago, when my weigh loss just stopped. I found I was able to eat close to the amounts I was eating before surgery. I wasn't feeling any restriction and was able to eat just about anything without problems. I thought it was probably time to talk to Dr. Averbach about getting a fill. 

I called for an appointment thinking I might just talk about it first. (He had told me previously that he sometimes elects to do first fills under flouroscopy.) However, when I went in yesterday, he said he could feel my port just fine and went ahead and did it then and there! He had me do a little crunch, inserted the needle, put the saline in (2cc) and then had me drink a few ounces of water to be sure everything was okay before he took the needle out. It was painless...both physically and mentally! I stayed on liquids yesterday, am on "mushies" today and back to regular food tomorrow. 

I can feel a difference. Immediately after surgery, I had this left shoulder/neck pain. It went away, but is back now. I am also VERY gurgly...I can hear and feel the gas and liquids moving around in there. Very strange. I know this is what I need to get myself back on track. Last week, before my fill, I didn't have to decide whether to eat the chicken or the cookie....I could eat both! Now I'll have to do that again. I am still at the point where I need this real accountablity. Maybe I will be forever. I am grateful for this band and the opportunity it is giving me to be healthy once and for all.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Well, here I am, just over three weeks from surgery and doing great. I've lost 18.5 pounds, the gassy stuff from surgery has pretty much disappeared and my incisions have healed nicely. I still experience left shoulder pain occasionally, but it's much less frequent and severe than it was. I have also been getting this strange feeling of esophageal fullness, like I have to burp, but can't, or that something is stuck. It can't be stuck, though, since I'm still eating mushies! I've been tracking when it comes, and it seems that it might be related to eating too quickly. I thought I was eating slowly, but old habits die hard, and I'm having to force myself to slow down even more. 

I am getting my energy back, too. Maybe because I am really paying attention to my protein intake. A week or so ago, I started logging everything into Sparkpeople.com and it has helped tremendously to see how much of everything I'm getting. When I first started, I was only eating about 700 calories a day! No wonder I was tired! I've managed to up it to about 1000 and am feeling better. 

My husband asked me a few days ago what I've learned about myself so far...here is what I came up with: I used to eat unconsciously much more often than I realized. (I guess that's why it's called unconscious eating!). Immediately after surgery, I'd find myself with food in my hand about to put it in my mouth at least once a day. I'd walk past the bag of chips, or the cheese and crackers, or the pickles, or the cookies or the snacks at church and find myself involuntarily reaching for the food just because it was there, not because I was actually hungry or anything. That was an eye-opener. Although I ate well at meals, I began to realize that I probably ate at least half again as many calories without even realizing what I was doing. 

I also have learned that it is hard for me to just eat without any other distractions. Since the surgery, I have to really pay attention to my body, especially now when I am still learning what it feels like to be hungry, eat and be full with the band. It has felt very uncomfortable for me to just eat, paying attention to me and what I'm doing rather than distracting myself with things like reading, watching TV, working on the computer, etc. It has been a good lesson, though. I am actually tasting the food I am eating and "hearing" my body say "stop" is something I haven't been able to do in a long time.

Having a bit of an issue with chocolate....most other sweets have lost their appeal for me, but not dark chocolate. It goes down just fine with the band! I am limiting myself to a hershey kiss sized piece or two a day, but I could eat more! I want to do this for the long term however, and if that means giving myself permission to have some chocolate once in a while, so be it!

Thinking about New Year's goals. Will blog more about them in the next few days. Happy New Year!

It's three days since my banding. I'm doing okay. The pain from the incisions really isn't that bad anymore. I am just taking Ibuprofen for it now. The worst thing is the gas and bloatng from the surgery. In order to do surgery laproscopically, they blow up your abdominal cavity with gas...it makes it easier to see and get to all the organs. However, they can't possibly get all the gas out when the surgery is finished, so it takes time to get absorbed and "passed". It gets better every day, but my belly is still bloated. Everytime I change position, I feel everything moving around in there and hear the gas and digestion gurling around. I never thought I'd be so happy to fart!  I can't wait for this part to be over. Hopefully, it won't take more than a few more days. Sigh.

I have to admit, I felt pretty yukky immediately after surgery. For some reason, I wasn't expecting to feel as bad as I did. I did have a few moments when I wondered if I had made the right decision. I said as much to my husband and he (wise as always) wanted to know if I was going to base the rest of my life on these few bad days. He was right, of course, now I'm feeling better and am excited about what the future holds. I still get tired really easily and don't feel like doing much at all. But I suppose that's normal. Back with another update soon.

So, okay, here it is 4:00am on the day of surgery and I'm awake. No, I don't have to be awakesyet, I just am. Didn't sleep well for various reasons, one of which is that I'm scared. Not really scared so much about the surgery, I know that will go fine, it's more scared about the unknown afterward. What will it really be like having the band? Will I really be able to tolerate it? What will eating be like? What will it be like not to rely on food so much? Will I really be able to do everything I need to to make this work? What if I don't? What if my husband divorces me because he can't stand my mood swings?

Anyway, I spent some time praying, and I know that God is with me. I can't almost feel Jesus holding my hand. With him beside me, I know it will be okay. I'll let you know how it goes!

Well, I'm scheduled to have my Lapband "installed" on December 7th. After all my thinking, praying, talking, etc. I finally decided to go for it. My insurance company approved me much more quickly than I expected and for me, that was kind of a "sign"....I figured if God really had other plans for me, he had plenty of chances to make that known. In the end, I felt as if he was saying that he loves me no matter what and that committing all my ways to him was much more important than the particular path I chose. 

I am excited and scared. Excited that I will finally be the person I know I am meant to be, inside and out. Scared that I'll somehow fail again, scared that something might happen during surgery and leave my husband and kids alone, scared that maybe after al my considerations, I'm still not making the right choice. From what I've read and heard, these are all normal fears. I'm proceeding despite them!

I'm spending this week getting ready....having my pre-op exams and labs done, grocery shopping for special stuff I'll need initially after surgery, trying to get as much done for Christmas as possible before the 7th, etc. 

Keep me in your prayers! I'll let you know how it goes.....

Michelle

Okay, so I've been a member of this board for about six weeks, when I first started investigating the Lapband. Since then, I've come a long way....I saw my PCP and told her about what I was thinking. She thought it was a great idea and referred me to Dr. Averbach and Singh and St. Agnes in Baltimore. 

I saw Dr. Averbach on 9/18/07. He was very kind and answered all my questions. I have Carefirst BlueChoice insurance and they require a six month supervised weight loss program. Luckily (or by divine providence!) I had started Weight Watchers back in March before I ever heard of the Lapband. I weighed 239 when I started WW and when I went to see Dr.Averbach, I was 223. Good that I lost weight, bad that now my BMI was in the range that also requires that I have comorbidities in order to qualify!!! 

Since I am actually pretty healthy with no serious co-morbidities, Dr. Averbach requested that I go for a sleep study to see if sleep apnea is an issue for me. I have that scheduled for this Saturday, the 13th. I'm really looking forward to sleeping all wired up! :) I've seen the dietician for my initial consultation and had my personal therapist do my psych consult.

So....the sleep study results will determine my course of action. If it's positive and shows "mild" apnea, we'll probably submit for approval right away. If it shows anything more than that, I think my insurance will require me to have a CPAP for at least 4 weeks. If there is no apnea, I will probably just gain back 5 pounds in order to get my BMI back up to 40%, which won't require any comorbs. It seems so wrong to have to do that, but if I want the surgery, I guess it will be necessary. And we all know how very easy it is to gain 5 pounds! I could probably do it in two or three days. Sigh.

Through all of this, I have still been wrestling with whether this is truly the right decision for me, physically, but mostly spiritually. I've spent a lot of time in prayer, talking with respected friends, my pastor and therapist trying to make sure that this is what God wants for me. Over the past few days, I have finally felt at peace with proceeding. I feel like God has reassured me in so many ways that he will always love me, will never leave me and wants the best for me, no matter what path I choose. So, I'm choosing the Lapband.

There, I said it. 

I'm going to have weight loss surgery. 

I'm having the Lapband "installed"! (I hope!) Go me! I'll keep you posted!