Chrisrasmussen1

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I was reading some other stories on this site and someone said that her weight effected her in ways she didn't even know. So I got thinking about how my weight has effected me. Well I'm not as happy as I used to be. I feel angry a lot of the time. I never used to be that way untill I gain so much weight.  I don't play with the kids as much as they would like, I'm just too tired.  I have had almost no sex drive since I've gained weight. That is not good for a marriage and I think , no I know it has suffered from that.  I don't want to go out as much for fear of someone seeing me who hasn't seen me in a long time. I can't even hold a conversation with them without thinking the whole time that they must think "What the hell happened to her?!"
It makes me sad to think how everyone around me has suffered because of my FAT. I hope I can be that happy girl again soon.

Slimfast is working, I lost 2 pounds in two days. I am feeling really hungry though and a little tired.

So I gained 4 pounds since I started eating real food. NOT good. I decided to do slimfast untill I get my first fill. I'm hoping I will get one when I go in 2 weeks.  I feel terrible that I have gained that much but I'm not going to let it get me down. I will lose that by the time I get a fill then hopefully the fill will help me control my portions. I haven't walked in 3 days, so I need to make sure I do that too. I CAN do this.

Thank you everyone for the encouraging words and advice. I don't know what I would do without you all.  I am feeling better today and walked 40 minutes tonight. It felt great!! Now if only I could get rid of the Easter candy around here!  It is calling to me. I hate it. Evil Chocolate, evil peanut butter eggs!!

I'm feeling down in the dumps. I have been eating way to much and I hate myself for it. WHY can't I stop??  I am really dissapointed in myself.  Maybe because it is that time of the month or because there is too much Easter candy laying around. I don't know, I just feel stupid. 

For the first time in three years I got my period on time. I would normally have gone  2 or 3 months without one. I feel yucky and crampy. I have not had cramps with a period in 3 years also. Does that mean everything is working normally? 

There is still Easter candy around here. I didn't buy too much this year for obvious reasons, but I still have managed to steal a couple peanut butter eggs from the kids baskets.  I have not had too many just enough to stop the cravings.

I can eat quite a bit of food at one time but I am stopping myself. I hope Doc will give me a fill when I go back at the end of April. I am ready to lose more weight.

Happy Easter. We are still waiting for the kids to wake up. They never sleep this late.  Hubby and I have been up for a while making noise so they get up and find their Easter baskets. Hubby has to go to work in a few minutes so I am going to go get the kids up.

I was heating up some Mac & Cheese for Hubby last night and took a bite of it and it got stuck. Let me tell you, that was PAINFULL! Never want that to happen again. It wouldn't go down and it wouldn't come back up.  It only took about 5 minutes to go down but it felt like an hour. Ouch!!!

Ok, I feel better. The scale went back down today. What a relief!! I was stressing.

I'm feeling really sad today. My weight is going up and I don't understand why!! Im not eating any solids and really trying to get my protein up everyday.  I read other Blog's and they are losing like 14lbs in one or two weeks after surgery. I don't get it!!!!!

So I went for my post-op Doc visit today. I had a lot of questions for the NP.  He really took the time to sit down and actually talk to me and answer all my questions. He was so caring and patient, with all my 178 questions!!  ha ha  Really only about 8, I made a list so I wouldn't forget anything. He took the staples out and that didnt hurt at all. Which I already knew since I had 3 c-sections, all with many, many staples. The best part of the Doc visit was the ladies in the waiting area. We were all trading stories and weight loss. One woman lost about 70 lbs in 4 months!!!  Another woman told us she told her husband to "Watch out!" cuz she was going to be wearing clothes she never wore before. Some were just there for there first post-op visit like me. It was great.  I feel really good and I can have some mashed potatoes and thin turkey(I will put in blender)for Easter!!! I'm HAPPY!!!!