CJ2pt0
a new beginning
Oct 05, 2015
...in the beginning...
Today I make another leap in the right direction towards reaching a goal that for a long time I thought I would never have the chance of achieving again. A few years ago...it feels like a life time ago...I have my first weight loss surgery. I opted at that time for the Sleeve because I was sure that I had the self discipline and drive to make it work as a tool. I did everything I was told to do. I attended the classes, I tracked my food/protein intake...everything but the one thing I needed to change...me. I somehow forgot to "make me the priority".... I have to admit, the procedure was definitely smoothe for me with no complications. Dr. Soloman, my surgeon was great. I was up walking within hours of the surgery, out of the hospital by day two and taking walks around the neighorhood by the end of the first week. I was determined to make the process work.
...fast forward to today...
Well, here I am back where I started. I have gained the weight back. Alot has happened from then to now but none of that really matters...it would only seem as an excuse. What is important is that I'm here because I refuse to give up that easily. I have to admit when I made my first appointment to see about a "redo" I was the most embarrassed I have felt in years. I went back to Dr. Soloman because he is direct and because he was direct with me I am more direct with myself.
I started my new journey on Jul 15. I have to admit it has been a little uncomfortable at times especially at the classes but I think the discomfort makes me even more determined. The first class was my first "face you fear" moment. The first question that the instructor asked was "how many of you are here pre-op"...I was confused, was I now considering pre-op or should I admit that I had failed the first time. For the first couple of classes I avoided answering the question. Funny though, I kept going back. Unlike 1.0 (as I refer to my first surgery) this time around something feels different. At that time I thought I was ready...I "met" all the pre-requisites, attended the classes, was sure I was ready....but this time it feels different. I'm actually participating in the classes...asking questions...getting to know the others in the support groups. This time I am researching, trying out high protein recipes...things are different. Most importantly my mind set has shifted. Rather then dwell in what I did wrong and focusing on how to make sure it doesn't happen again. Instead of being an example of what failure looks like I am going to be an example of what determination after a set back can do. I want to be a support person for those that are going through the same thing I am... I want to prove that a step back does not constitute a failure or the end of the story...
...my story is only beginning...
