The count down

Mar 23, 2009

March 23, 2009

Well my lapband is scheduled for March 31st.   I am excited and afraid.  I don't fear the surgery so much as I do all the changes I will need to make to make my new tool work.  I have read so may question and answer, some very hopeful, and some very frightening.  I currently weigh 305 pounds.  Most people say don't expect to loose it over night as you did not gain it over night.  Which is so true, but the last time I weighed less than 200lbs I was 12 years old, and I am now 56.  So it does in a way feel like I woke up fat or gained it overnight.  I am taking out a loan for this surgery.  Its like another car payment for another 5 years, 469$ a month.  But I am looking at it as an investment in my life and my childrens lives.  Currently I work 2 part time jobs, and neither offer insurance.  And because of my size I have been unable to find an affordable insurance.

A little about me.  I am a single parent with 10 adopted special needs children ranging in age 6 years to 28 years.  3 of my children are technology dependent and I do have some in home nursing care for them.  My other 7 kids are slight mental retardation, fetal alchol, cocain and meth babies, and shaken baby syndrome.  Needless to say we have a house full of love going on here.   I want to be around to continue protecting them, and giving them the love and support they need.  In total I have had 14 children, my birth daughter was a still born over 30 years ago.  Then I had to have a hysterectomy and God sent me kids another way. 3 of my other adopted children died of natural causes due to their disibilities, the last just 3 months ago at a16 months.  All my children are gifts from God and I feel truly blessed by them all.

So they are my motivators.  I need to learn to eat to live and not live to eat.

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