cjk5
Hello fellow WLS friends. My name is Chabrel (pronounced Sha-brel). I am 34 yo and here is my story. I have struggled with my weight every since I hit puberty, which was around 12 yo. At that time and all through high school I was very athletic and I hated my body. However, everyone told me, "you're not fat, you're just big boned" Oh how I hate that statement, I have heard that one too many times. I have dieted for as long as I can remember. In high school, my nickname was She-Ra (you know He-Man's girlfriend). Yeah, yeah, it may seem okay to you but I wanted to be that little petite girl that all the boys liked. Society (especially men) concentrate too much on the way a woman looks and what she weighs. Maybe that is why my self image is soo bad. I don't know. Okay, after high school, I joined the army, where I was overweight according to their standards, I was 5'7" and 164lbs. Whatever!!! I hated myself thanks to that label. However, when I look back at those pictures, I looked GREAT!!!! So then I got married and put a few extra lbs and that sent me more over the weight limit. I wouldn't eat or drink the night before weigh in, I would take 9-10 laxatives and spit in a cup. I would sometimes loose 9-10 lbs overnight, only to gain it back plus some after I took the first bite the next day. Well I got pregnant, woo here it comes. I gained 60lbs, lost 20lbs immediateley after I had my daughter, then the remaining 40 on Jenny Craig over the next 5 months. Then my husband and I divorced. I stayed within that weight give or take 15-30lbs for 8-9 years, going on and off diets, like Wieght watchers, dexatrim, etc. We all know the drill. I hated myself because I was just a big girl. I will never get that out of my head, it really has a strong hold on me. I know, it is amazing the image society portrays as fat. Okay, well I was married again 4.5 years ago, I lost 15lbs before the wedding, again only to gain that back plus another 15. Now I was up to about 196 and I got pregnant (10 years after my first one and I am 10 years older). I gained 50lbs. I lost 20 immediately and kept the other 30, I had some serious health issues after that birth and as soon as the health issues were taken care of, ooppss!! I was pregnant again, this time with TWINS, however, I only gained 40 this time, lost 20 coming out of the hospital and maybe 5-10 over the next few months. When the twins were 4 months, SURPRISE, I was pregnant again (my DH calls me the baby factory). I gained 50 to 60 this time. I lost track and did not want to even know anymore. So anyway, here I am at 250lbs hating myself and my body. I looked into lap band surgery and here I am.
