Kat S.

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Nov. 29, 2005
OMG!!! I got my approval letter in the mail today!! I cried because I was so happy. Everything is falling into place faster than I ever thought it would. The nurse on the phone gave me a rough estimate of middle to late January. What a wonderful birthday present!!! It's a wonder I can even sit here and type this. I feel like running a marathon (maybe I will one day!!). I can barely hold still. I will update as soon as I know more!




Nov. 30, 2005
I am amazed at how everything is falling into place. I called the nurse to see what the next step was and she said I have to take the seminar. That's on Dec. 7th. That's in a WEEK!!! When I started this process, I was figuring it would take months and months. The nurse at the hospital said if everything goes well, it should be in January. I am so excited to get rid of this "extra person" that is hanging on my shoulders. I am even having dreams about what I will be able to do once I lose all the weight. I will keep posting and keep you updated!!

I was having a good day. I am sorry if I offend anyone here, but my mom kind of ruined my day. I told her about my upcoming surgery and she got mad. She told me that she heard so many bad things about the WLS, and she said it wasn't neccesary. I told her to gain about 180 pounds, try to get it off, or be healthy, try to exercise at almost 300 lbs., and keep up with your family. No one understands what it's like to be morbidly obese if they haven't actually experienced it. Besides, the way I see it, it's my body, if I want to get "cut up" (as she called it) I will. She then went on to criticize me and bascially called me stupid for even thinking about it. What does she know? She thinks she's OH MY GOODNESS fat when she gains even a pound. I have to sit here every morning and listen to her little 120 pound body tell me that her pants are sooooo tight, she cant bend over, yap yap yap. To tell me I'm stupid for doing it at almost 300 lbs. and her say the things she does just makes me so mad. I know my wonderful husband supports me. When I called him and told him about my letter, he seemed more excited than I was. It took me awhile to re-assure him about the whole thing, but he is now behind me 100%. I have wonderful friends (my 2 new ones Kathy and Kelly are wonderful) that are happy for me. I am making myself healthy and happy, so why can't my mom be happy for me to? HEFFAR!!! Sorry, she just makes me soooooo mad. Once I lose all the weight, I'm sure she will be like, "Wow, look at you now!!" I guess the reason it makes me so mad is that growing up, I can remember being a very little girl (not even a teenager yet) and her making me go to Weight Watchers. She was going for herself, but I wasn't along for the ride. She signed me up as a member!! A 12 year old being a part of Weight Watchers!!! BLAH!!! Weight has always been an issue with me and my mom. My step-dad didn't help matters any. He always went around calling me fat. I'll show them both!!! JUST WATCH ME!!! Well, I hope I didn't offend anyone, but I had to let it out.

Yet again, on the same day, I am back to vent. This time it is about me. I guess I had a really bad day and decided to eat and eat and eat. This is kind of embarrasing, but I ate a whole medium pizza by myself. I feel a little sick to my stomach now, but I couldn't stop myself. I'm not sure if my stomach ache is because of all the food, or the fact that I am so upset and feeling guilty. I started to think to myself what I would have done if I had ordered a large. I don't like sitting here at the computer all the time stuffing my face. I want to get out and enjoy the world. It hurt last winter because I wasn't able to go chase my kids and throw snowballs with them. Suprisingly enough, it doesn't hurt that bad this year. I know this time next year, I won't be sitting here, eating pizza!! I will be out having fun with my kids and my husband!! Yipee!!! I guess I got down on myself today and started to rethink the WLS. I told myself I AM GOING TO DO THIS NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS!! This has nothing to do with my mom. It has to do with ME!!!! Me being able to look at myself in the mirror and not be disappointed, to be able to play with my kids, to keep up with my house, and have enough energy to do it all!!!





Dec. 1, 2005
7 more days and I am on my way to the seminar in order to get my 1st appt. with my doctor. I am so excited. I am getting my house ready too. If that makes sense. I am going room to room, cleaning everything and making sure it will be perfect for when I go into surgery. I know I don't have a surgery date yet, but it will take me that long to get it aboslutely done. I want to be able to relax when I get home, and not have to worry if my babies sheets are clean or if they have clean towels. It gives me time to think about what is to come and what my life will be like after I have the WLS. Oh oh oh, I have found the most wonderful air freshener too. It's the automatic Air Wick that sprays out smellies every so often. I got the Harvest Spice scent. It smells soooo good. I am going to go today to get one for each room of my house. Merry Christmas to me!!! I hope I am not boring anyone, but I am actually (for once in my life) keeping up a journal. A lot of what I am writing is so I can look back and remember my experiences. Ok, time to get back to cleaning the kitchen.....





Dec. 10, 2005

I made it to Dr. Hornbostel's seminar. All I have to do now is fax my paperwork to get a consulation appt. I am getting really excited. A friend of mine just had her surgery and I can't wait to see her progress! Way to go Kelly, I am so proud of you!! It is hard to stay focused on things I need to do around here, like school. I can't seem to get my mind off of my turn on the OR table. My husband is getting excited too. I can't wait to have jeans that don't roll or cut into my stomach. To be able to keep up with my kids is another thing I am truly looking forward too. I will update again as soon as I know more....




Dec. 13, 2005

I faxed the papers that Dr. Hornbostel's office needed. I know they got it because I called to make sure. I know I am being impatient here, but I want my turn. I am so tired of having to flop my boobs up on the table and stuff my stomach underneath it just to get close enough to eat. At the seminar, the nurse told me it was really slow because of the holiday's and the nasty weather we have been having, but it seems to be taking forever for them to call with an appt. for the consultation. I guess I am getting a little ahead of myself. I need to be patient and just wait, but it's hard. I am close enough to smell it, but not close enough to taste it, if that makes sense. Look at me, using a food analogy for a surgery example. How sad is that?!?!? I am getting down on myself about this whole waiting thing. I have read so many wonderful profiles and the benefits that everyone has encountered, and here I am, still a huge lard ball. In the past few years, I have had nothing but bad luck and things that I want never seem to happen. I have a funny feeling that something is going to go wrong and I won't get to have my surgery. It always seems to happen that way. Things at the homefront aren't all that great either. Hubby and I are having some marital trouble, but I guess that's all part of being married. I hate feeling so miserable. Christmas is right around the corner and I am sooooo not in the Holiday Spirit. I got all the decorations up, the kids presents in the closet, and the kids are looking forward to it, so why can't I seem to get into the mood? I guess it's hard to look forward to having another day being miserable and not able to keep up with my family. We have already had snow out here, and I wasn't able to go run and throw snow balls with my kids. They asked me to come outside and all I could do was stand in the door way, watch them, and try not to let them see me cry. I am sorry to vent here, but I know I can't vent to hubby because then he will turn it around, start venting about his problems and make mine seem so small. I just want to box him in the head and tell him you be almost 300 lbs. and then tell me about your problems. Damn man!!! I didn't mean to offend if I did, but I had to let it out somewhere. Anyway, I am thinking about calling the Dr's office tomorrow and finding out about my appt. I think that will put my mind at ease. Will update when I know something more!!





Dec. 16, 2005

WOOO HOOO!!! I got my surgical packet in the mail, called the hospital, and I now have my consult with my dr. I am so excited. I go see him on Dec. 28th. I can't believe it is happening so fast. I look back and read the last profile, and I can't believe I am getting so edgy and impateint about everything. There are some people that fight for years. Here I am, less than a month after I started my journey, and I already have a consult. I am excited again and can't wait!!!




Dec. 21, 2005

4 days 'til Christmas!!!I am a little behind on the wrapping, but I'm sure the kids won't know. We went to Springfield yesterday, and my son made a wish in a fountain. He wished for a "number 8 fishing pole". I am thinking that he snuck a peek in the coat closet where we have the presents hidden. At least we will be able to write him a note "from Santa" saying that he heard his wish. It couldn't be any better than that. 7 more days 'til my consult. I am getting really nervous about it and it's making my stomach turn. I have people that have gone through it before, but it is different for everyone. I know the Dr. will reassure me when I get there. I guess it's kind of like closure coming from him. In the meantime, I am sitting here with my children and my husband, enjoying the holiday spirit with some hot apple cider and all the goodies. I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and a safe and happy New Year. Best wishes and love to all of you out there!!!!!





Dec. 28, 2005

Ok, well, that just makes it official. My mom is a complete and total heffar!!!! I talked to her this morning and told her I was on my way to have my consultation and she was telling me (yet again) that I could lose all the weight on my own and that this whole surgery thing is a very stupid idea. She wants me to go back on Weight Watchers yet again, and try to live on Slim Fast shakes, and to go on Jenny Craig before I make my "final decision". Hate to tell her that I've already made up my mind and I am doing it reguardless of what she thinks. I told her it has nothing to do with her, and she argued with me. The 120 pound heffar ARGUED!!!! I just wanted to tell her to go take her skinny ass and just go jump off a cliff. She wants me to go start exercising (which I would love to) but being right around 250 pounds makes it hard to go bounce on a bench (in step aerobics) or to get out and walk. That's a good idea and getting to where I am going is great, it's all downhill, getting home is a bitch. It's all downhill from here and getting home is all uphill. When I go walking I have to push a double stroller with a set of twins that weigh 30 pounds a piece. Not to mention the almost 30 pounds for the stroller. That's 90 pounds give or take. Any way, we get home and she calls and asked why I didn't call her back. HMMMMM, I wonder. So we start talkin and she asked how the trip was, and then here it comes!!! She starts in on me again. Oh, that's a bad idea and I don't want you to do it, YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP!!!!!! I almost threw my phone I was so mad. Anyway, my appt. was great, I was so nervous. I so love Dr. Hornbostel. He is so wonderful. The nurse that saw me before the Dr. did was a rude heffar too. Dunno her name, just know I didn't like her. She weighed me and took my height and told me that it was to bad I wasn't shorter because "it doesn't look like you're fat enough for the surgery." Dr. Hornbostel made it all better. He told me that I was a perfect candidate for the surgery and that I would do excellent with it. I was so happy. All I have to do is play the waiting game and wait for them to call me with a date. I really can't wait!!!!





Jan. 3, 2006

I know the waiting game is hard, but the holidays make it even worse. Poor, Dena, she's so wonderful. I know she must deal with person after person. Must be nerve wracking. She answered all my questions and said she would call me by the end of the week. At the end of this week, I should have a date. That made my stomach jump into my throat with excitement. My window for the surgery is very small. My husband is a Drill Sgt. and hardly ever gets a day off. They will be going back into cycle sometime in Feb. I don't have family here, because God knows my mom is completely against this (more on that in a min). His family doesn't know I am having the surgery and I would like to keep it that way. My husband's baby brother is the ONLY person on his side of the family that I want knowing. I am figuring his mom will be just as bad as mine about the whole thing. Other than me being completely sick, my mom starting her yappin already, and the kids not listening to anything I say, I am thinking today is going to be a good day. I am getting ready for my life to change. I can't wait. Anyway, about my mom... She's still on her "I don't want you to have this surgery and there are other ways to lose the wieght" kick. She is telling me to just cut my food down (which I've done), or only eat a tbls. of food at a time. ANYONE with common sense knows that you can't eat that little amount of food without some kind of help (surgery). She doesn't understand that no matter how little you eat, or how hard you work out, losing weight when youre obese is damn near impossible. I love being active, and I can't wait until I am physically able too. I was looking at rollerblades and I can buy a pair at Wal-Mart for 20 bucks. How cool is that!! More updates to come at the end of the week when I hear back from Dena!!!!!




Jan. 5, 2006

Thank you so much Barb!!! Wonderful job spiffyin up my profile!! I just love it. No news since the last time I updated. I haven't heard anythinb back from Dena, but then again, it's still Thursday. She has one more day before I call and pester her. I want to let everyone know that I have been browsing profiles and they are all wonderful stories. Pictures are amazing and WL progress is out of this world. I am getting so excited to be able to join everyone on the losing side. More to come!!!



Jan. 6, 2006

Oh Holy Cow!!!! I called my insurance company this morning just to get another I.D. card sent and out of the blue, I asked if the approval came through for my surgery came through, and she said yes!!!!! I am going to have my surgery, all I am waiting for now is the date. I called the Dr.s office and kind of got irratated. The lady on the phone didn't even look at my file to tell me if I had a date. She just told me that they would call me. I know they are busy, but if I leave it up to them, I will be waiting forever. I was so excited when I got my 1st approval that I started crying. This time I am so excited, I can't. I feel like I am floating on Cloud 9!!!! I can't remember the last time i felt like this. GOODIE, GOODIE, GOODIE!!!! Oh, just wait until my mom finds out. That conversation is going to be fun. I keep telling her I have made up my mind. Now when she finds out that the surgery is approved, shes going to flip. I hope she sits and stews on it. I am so excited she can't get me down. I can't wait to tell my husband about it. I know he is going to be nervous, but I also know he's excited, which makes it easier for me. I called a few people to tell them about my great news and no one is home. Go figure!! I will be back to yap soon, as soon as I know more.....




Jan. 10, 2006

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!! Did I say OMG? I called the Dr.'s office today and they said the surgery was ESTIMATED for the 20th of this month. That's in 10 days!!!! My stomach is in my feet, and I so can't wait for the final word. I know I've been waiting for this day, and now that it is really close, I am starting to get nervous. I have never been put to sleep before. One of my girlfriends said it was wonderful, I can see where she can say that, I am just scared about what I am going to feel like when I wake up. I am not looking forward to the famous tube in my nose afterwards, and I am a sucker when it comes to pain. Also, I have never been away from my kids overnight. I have only been away from my oldest son for 2 nights, not in a row, and he is almost 7. My twins will be 3 in Feb, and I have never been away from them for more than a few hours at a time. They are the reason I wake up each morning and I don't know what I am going to do without them for 3 days. I know my husband is going to go insane!! HAHAHA!! He will have to cope. It's gonna be hard for him to entertain them in a hotel for a few days, but I'm sure he can figure something out. As for me, I plan on watching movies and sleeping. Don't know if I will want to work on school work (I go to online college), but we will see. Everyone is different on how they recover. I figure if I had a c-section, I can handle this. Another thing, it always seems that when I have good news, there is no one that is avaliable to tell it to!!! What's the deal with that?!?!? I can't wait for the final word, and I will let y'all know when I found out......



Aug. 1, 2006

I know it has been a long time since I have added anything to my profile, but shortly after I last posted, I received a really low blow. My insurance denied my surgery!! Can you believe it? I was just a little bit on the pissed off side. They had told me I missed the requirement by 4 pounds. 4 measly pounds. I was pissed. This was my life they were messing with. I was so upset, I just quit with everything that had to do with the surgery. Then about a month or so ago, I was talking to one of my girlfriends and we started talking about the surgery again. I told her I wasn't about to attempt to do it again and be denied. I know there are some of you out that that know how that feels. It feels like you just got hit by a train and don't want to get back up. After I was denied, I had a hard time doing everyday things. I had a hard time getting into the mood to cook, clean, do laundry, ect. I kept my kids and husband happy, but inside, I wanted to die. I had the doctor that put in the original consult tell me that I wasn't wanting this surgery for my health, that I wanted it to be thin and pretty. Talk about another low blow. Come to find out, in the original consult, she had put that I was not emoitionally sound and requested that I see a shrink. That added fuel to the fire. It was awful. I told her that I was just fine. I wasn't depressed. I was hurt. There is a difference. Needless to say, I now have a different doctor. Anyway, after my girlfriend and I started talking about it, I decided to give it another shot. I have lived my life with obesity this long, I can handle it for a bit longer. I made an appointment with a new doctor and he asked so many questions that my old one didn't. He also said that he didn't understand why I didn't get approved the first time considering that my BMI was over 40, which is usually the deciding factor for my insurance. I now weigh 265 (according to the doctor's scale) and my BMI is 42.8. He was optimistic and put in a request for me to go see my surgeon. He added more information to the request than my last doctor did. He added that I had gestational diabetes, high cholestoral and triglycerides, and chronic back pain. Hopefully all of that will help my case. I go back to Dr. Hornbostel's seminar tomorrow (today, considering it is 1:30 in the morning). After that, I can make my appointment with him. I remember the last time, I had my consultation with the surgeon shortly after Christmas and I knew what was going on by the middle of January. I know it will go faster because the surgeon's office already has all of my information and has a file on me already. I am so nervous that I can't think straight. I think I am more worried about getting denied again. I don't know how I will be able to handle that. On the other hand, I am excited because I know my chances of getting my surgery done this time are better than the last. I have a better doctor on my side that is willing to fight for me, I now meet the requirements (not by much, but I do), and I am one step closer than I was before. I will update when I know more....




Aug. 10, 2006

Boy, what a busy week. I went to Dr. Hornbostel's seminar and had a blast with my dear friend, Susie that went with me. I don't remember the last time I had laughed so hard!! The seminar lasted a little longer than the hour that I had remembered it lasting. We got lost on the 2+ hour trip home and ended up going 80 miles out of the way. I was so tired on the way home that I was doing everything in my power to stay awake. I was so exhausted that I was feeling sick. We finally made it back to the house at almost 1 in the morning. I'm glad I don't have to do that again for awhile. I got my consult appointment. It is on October 11. I am kind of excited. I am more nervous than anything. I don't want to get denied again. I have been looking at all of my friends pictures and others that have undergone the surgery, and I want that for me. I want to be skinny and healthy. I don't want to be miserable and on meds. I want to be able to keep up with my kids. I want to be able to see then at their soccer or baseball games. I damn sure want to be there to see them get married and have kids. If I keep up with the way things are now, I know I won't be there. I am only 26 and have been told that I am at risk for a stroke due to high cholestoral. Not even funny, if you ask me. I am trying to keep my head above water until October 11th and not let it devoure me, but it's hard. I am getting excited without letting my guard down. More to come once the day gets closer.....

Nov. 21, 2006

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