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I am so interested in walking, but I hate to walk alone. If I could I would walk in the early mornings, except for the stray dogs that liket to roam about. I really don't like that terrified feeling I get when walking alone and I meet up with a dog. I haven't been bit yet...but my time is about to be up. Is anyone else interested in joining up and walking a couple of days in the week, early morning or evenings?

Today marks one major goal achieved! I am officially under 220 lbs!! Yay!

I have been cleared for surgery! This has been a very soul searching and frustrating journey, but the best part is coming and I am excited!

Today is the last day of January 2013, already! In August I started this journey and have discovered so much about myself that I would have never guessed, the latest being obstructive sleep apnea, really!? If you are unfamiliar with it, look it up. It causes so many negative issues in a body, the worst being lack of oxygen. When I sleep my oxygen level falls below 90, not good! I had a sleep study using a CPAP machine and it was interesting to say the least. Maybe with the machine I can finally stop being soooo tired during the day and my energy level will go up.

Well... I had my psych evaluation on Monday, thanks to the dietician putting in a word for me with the people that schedule appointments. That was the last step in my million step document journey and now we continue to play the waiting game. I if the psychologist says I am mentally ready for surgery than we are ready to submit to insurance....my fingers and toes are crossed and I am ready to get this next phase in my life started!

I am just not sure bariatric surgery is the way to go for me. I got a call yesterday, my psych evaluation has been rescheduled for MARCH 7, 2013! The receptionist calling was very apologetic, but her reasoning for such a late date is all the new patients that are coming in. What? Well I have been a patient for several months and that does not sound like good logic to me. It seems like there are a lot of road blocks. Of course I know it is a long road with lots of tests and procedures, but I have attended the doctor's evaluation, gone to two dietician meetings, turned in all required documentation I was to provide and now need to attend one more dietician appointment, a psych evaluation, and do the tests that I have yet to get dates for. I will stick with it, though, since the dietician has opened my eyes to reading nutrition labels. It now takes me forever to go through grocery store isles because I have to read every label and then put the item back because it is too horrible to contemplate.

On a positive note I really enjoy the Curves circuit and have lost 18 pounds. I'm sure water weight :\ The downside is exhaustion. I am so tired when I get home from the workout I can hardly keep my head up. Not sure why this is happening, I thought exercising was suppose to give me more energy, not less. Maybe it will get better. I hope.

Since I am losing weight in a healthy way, my fear is losing the weight and keeping it off for a while and then a bad trigger occurs and I am back where I started, only worse off. This is my typical path in life. Only each year my health is a little worse, probably because of the yo-yo dieting life I lead. I only want to do what is right, safe, healthy and God's will. If surgery is not His will, maybe this is the reason for the road blocks? A test. Hmmm? I have to think and pray on this more. Maybe....it's just cold feet?

 

Yesterday I talked on the phone with Julie at Fresh Start and we scheduled my first one on one with the dietician for Wednesday 11/7/2012, I'm nervous :). My eating habits have much to be desired. We also scheduled the psych assessment, for JANUARY 7, 2013!? Don't that seem a little far out? The psychologist must be extremely busy! I am also waiting to hear back from my cardiologist for an appointment to make sure I am heart ready for surgery. Little by little it is getting closer to weight loss surgery reality. I am excited and scared, this is a big life event and I want to go into it with both feet firmly planted on the floor.

This week I started the Curves circuit workout, man is it AWESOME! And exhausting. I did it, though!! I am proud of myself. I committed to working out three times a week for a year. What?! I made a commitment? Please, God, with your help, we can make me healthier and happier.

 

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I would like for it to be a long and healthy life but by myself I don't think it will happen. I feel too emotionally bound by bad food, I am chained to an unhealthy lifestyle. With the help of the the Fresh Start Bariatric program I might be able to break free of the foods that weigh me down. I am currently 261 pounds, and my evaluation day is tomorrow 10/25/2012. Maybe surgery and the Living Lean program combined will allow me to be free of the fat that currently controls me.