DebS

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I am writing this here just to get it out and I am sorry if you are ready this.
I feel like such a failure having had the surgery a year and a half ago and now being 20 lbs heavier then when I had the surgery is disgusting and I feel like such a fat pig.  I am now trying to find a way to lose the way as if I never had the surgery and wish I would have never had it done, which I probably wouldn't have it a surgeon didn't bring it up when I had the gall bladder attack.  I should have just forgot about any surgeries.  Not only an I hugh but also in debt up to my eyebrows because of this and all extra visits that are going to stop since they are no help to me just more blame for where I am.

I am so proud of all the people that have been able to make WLS surgery work for them, but for me I was meant to be a blob.

Today I had to do the bowel cleanse.  That stuff is nasty like drinking a cup of funny tasting salt.  ugh Other then that it wasn't too bad but what a long day.  Maybe because we stayed home and normally we run our errands on Saturdays or food took up more time than I thought.  Tomorrow should be better I have Church to break up the day a little bit.  Surgery is Monday at 9 am.  I will be so glad when it is over and I am on the loser's bench and my mom brings my little man home it has been a long month without him around. He will be so excited, Dad made him his clubhouse he also wanted.

I finally received my insurance approval letter and my surgery has been scheduled for July 2.  Just a little over a  month away.