deemyers

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so. Here I am. Trying to have the balls to go ahead and commit to this surgery. Quite frankly, I am scared stiff. I have a child, I want to make sure that I will be there for him, but the surgery itself, for some reason, scares me. Maybe because its optional, I am choosing to have the surgery, not required to have it. Either way, there is a part of me that is scared and a part that wants the obesity to end. So, regardless, I am putting in place all the things I need to do to get there. I am on my 5th month of required weigh in. I have gained the 15 pounds shy i needed to qualify at 40 bmi and I am going to have my psych eval tommorrow. tommorrow. WOW.

 I hope that everything goes well. I hope I can get through this to have a better quality of life. Because quite frankly, this life with this body, SUCKS.