Boy oh buoyancy...

Apr 22, 2013

For all of the years I was obese, I was never shy about putting on a bathing suit. Of course I wore the kind that had some kind of skirt or blousy top to make a vane attempt at hiding what was underneath, but I am a water and sun lover. I scoffed at those skinny women who would say things like, "I just can't even put on a swim suit until I lose 10 pounds." Bologna! I needed to lose a hundred, I'd laugh, but that wasn't keeping me off the beach! I'd even go so far as to be indignant about it. "I'll show you," and off I'd go in something designed to tuck and cover, but not really. I knew I wasn't hiding anything.

Since my surgery, I have put on my swim suit every summer, and remember the first time I was able to put on a two piece for the first time. I felt like I was on top of the world. I wore a top that barely covered what really shouldn't have been hanging out, but I felt so wonderful I did it anyway. I got sun burned in places that had never seen the sun before. Since I still had skin hanging in a few places I didn't want anyone to see, my choice of bottom still had a skirt, but I almost couldn't contain the rush within me that I was wearing a two-piece suit.

Somehow that message from when I was about 6-years old, when my mom went and bought my sister and me our summer swim suits had become such a deeply engrained resentment, it was like I was finally vindicated. We were in the backyard of our house, the grass was freshly mowed, the summer sun was peaking and my mom came home with a two piece for my sister and a pink tank-suit for me. "You're too chunky for a two piece," she said to me. My sister, a year younger, and only about 10 pounds thinner, got what I thought was a cute little swim set. I loved the sun and I loved the water, but I really loathed those snarky comments about being too "chunky," or "chubby," or needing to "lose 10 pounds,"

I'm almost 9 years post-op and have kept off all but 7 pounds of my 100 pound weight loss, and I still like to wear a two piece bathing suit. I've had the skin removed from around my mid-section, but I still have extra on my thighs and upper arms. My love of water hasn't changed, either, and I recently decided to take scuba diving lessons. I don't have to worry about looking good in a wet suit - nobody does. Now that I've lost the weight, become more active and am enjoying life, I have found something else I love, though.

The water is a whole new adventure now, and in learning scuba, I also find I have a bit of a buoyancy issue. My extra skin and that remaining fat, floats. All those years of being told I'd be so pretty if I'd just lose 10 pounds, the dive master actually told me the first night of class - "Let's put some more weight on you!" I nearly drowned laughing.

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