dfawn
10-04-04
I have been overweight since my childhood. My earliest recollections about my weight were from my doctor who always told me that I "needed to lay off of the macaroni & cheese." I have done every diet known to man and if I totalled up all the weight I have lost, and subtracted it from my present weight, I'd be seriously in the negative!
I am going forward with surgery for health reasons. I have all kinds of co-morbidities (HBP, osteoarthritis, pre-diabetes, PCOS, stress incontinence...) All my yo-yo dieting of the past was no good for me either. I know from experience that I feel so much better when I'm able to move around and do a lot of things I love without getting short of breath or aching legs. I can't wait to have the WLS as a tool to help me maintain a healthy weight.
I just realized that most of my photos are head shots... I wonder why... LOL I will update my profile soon with my progress towards surgery. I'd love to stay in touch with others who are going through the process - send me an email!
10-25-04
It's been 3 weeks since I posted last. It's hard to be optimistic when you have insurance co drama. I'm thankful to have decent coverage and am also thankful that I haven't had a major claim with them for the entire time I have been with them. I have been going back and forth with Aetna about what else they could possibly need to approve me for surgery. When I made up my mind to go ahead with surgery, I went over their requirements and talked at length with my drs about what they specifically needed and they submitted it.
Now Aetna says that the info submitted wasn't detailed enough. It seems that they need several more years of BMI records, and DETAILED info about a physician supervised nutrition / excercise program. That info was included in my original package to them. Needless to say, my doctors were also irritating me to no end by dragging their feet in submitting revised copies of their original letters.
I've read on the boards how important it is to be persistent so I offered to type up the letters for my drs and they could just sign them. They said that wasn't how they did things there. AAAAAHHHHH! I finally got the last letter today and I'm submitting it MYSELF to Aetna - I have until November 1 to resubmit information otherwise I'd be denied for an incomplete file. I will update soon on my progress. Peace & Blessings to you all!
10-31-04
I personally submitted my updated info to my insurance company last week Wednesday since my drs were dragging their feet. The waiting and not knowing the ins co decision is the worst part... I am praying that I receive word back soon. Pray for me!
11-01-04
I am so upset and depressed right now I don't know what to do. My ins co denied my application. I decided to call today since I haven't heard anything from them. Everyone I spoke to was rude on the phone and I really didn't have the energy to argue with anyone today. I guess I need a good appeal letter now... If you have one, send it on!!!
11-17-2004
I've submitted an appeal, but haven't received any response yet. The waiting is incredibly difficult... I've been emotionally eating too... And have gained 5 more pounds! I'm praying for patience in a major way. In the meantime, I've also learned that Aetna won't be covering any more WLS starting January 2005 (via Obsityhelp members and boards). I haven't got that definitive word from them though.
11-20-2004
I've got the definitive word from Aetna: they WILL NOT COVER WLS starting JANUARY 2005!!!! I also found out that people who have appealed a denial in 2004 can get approval and their surgery will be covered in 2005. I can't understand Aetna at all. They paid for all of my previous visits without a problem: the nutritional consults, the psych evaluation, and the surgeon consult. Why would they cover all those visits and not go ahead and approve my surgery???
I pray that my appeal will be approved and I will be able to have the surgery that I so desperately need. Pray for me!!! I have much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, but I truly want to be thankful for being able to have WLS too.
I had an appointment with my doctor to check my high blood pressure (she put me on a new medication since the last one wasn't regulating the pressure) and my pressure is still up. She's upped the dosage now and I'm really worried that other things are starting to go downhill for me.
Forgive me for ranting a bit... I am just really frustrated. Special thanks to all of you who have emailed me your support and shared your insurance company drama with me... I'm praying for you as you pray for me!
12-12-04
Still no word back from Aetna yet. Lord, PLEASE grant me patience... In the meantime, I've been looking into ways that I can finance the surgery myself if it comes to that.
01-10-05
Happy New Year everyone! I'm trying to have a positive outlook for this year, but I'm still waiting to hear back from Aetna. I called the other day and got an endless string of phone prompts and voicemail boxes.
I am looking into low-cost surgery options outside of the U.S. if I have to go the self-pay route. If so, my 2005 income tax refund will be designated as my "surgery fund." So far, I found a few experienced surgeons who are in Mexico and Puerto Rico. My ability to speak Spanish will be a real plus if I have to take a trip down to have the surgery done.
I go before a board at work this week to have my skills assessed for a major promotion -- I hope that my responses to them far outweigh my appearance... Pray for me as I pray for you.
05-11-05
It's been a long time since I've posted. Things haven't changed. I have not been approved by Aetna. My family doesn't want me to go to another country to have the surgery done because they won't be able to be a part of my immediate care afterwards and because they worry that travelling after surgery isn't a good idea. I'm now seriously considering a home-equity loan to pay for my surgery here.
Every time I update, it seems my co-morbidities have increased. Now in addition to HBP, and osteoarthritis, I'm on medication for type 2 diabetes and have to monitor my blood glucose daily. I really want to have the surgery to get a new lease on life! Keep me in your prayers.
06-13-05
I've totally nixed the WLS out of the country. My family and close friends want to be an active part of my recovery and recuperation and they all have told me that they won't be able to assist me if I'm in Mexico somewhere. I am so thankful for their support!!! So it is for that reason I am going to save, save, and save to pay for my surgery.
I especially want to thank my very dear friend S (he's a nurse here in town and I respect his privacy) for helping to get me out of the dumps. He agreed to go with me wherever I want to go to have the surgery. He's an OR/ER nurse and said that he'd scrub in for me if I wanted him to. LOL He also said that he'd rather go with me out of the country to lay on a beach, drink icy drinks, and tour the local attractions. I told him I'd take him up on that as soon as I can look cute in a swimsuit again. He told me that there are plenty of large size folks out there and to not deny myself the pleasures of life just because my weight isn't what I want it to be. I love you to death, S!!! Now when can we book a trip to the Bahamas?
Keep me in your prayers for a positive outlook!
7-31-05
I've been actively trying to get approval for my surgery for almost a year now. I've done a lot more research and drilling of my ins co for the specifics on what they need for approval and I think I finally have it now. I've switched surgeons because I want a fresh start... I will keep you updated on my progress.
08-09-05
Deeeeeep breath... Okay... Now I can get this all out. My last attempt to have WLS and the resulting denial was due to my not knowing exactly what Aetna wanted. (And I thought I knew after talking to umpteen of their representatives). Now, I am armed with the truth! My new surgeon's office is great so far - they are doing a lot of hand holding with me since my first experience with this didn't go very well at all.
Aetna is an insurer that requires 6 mos of CONSECUTIVE supervised doctor visits within a year of surgery in order for the surgery to be approved. According to my denial, I had 4 supervised visits and 2 visits which didn't count because my dr didn't put ANYTHING IN HER NOTES about a weight loss consultation and noted the visits were for flu symptoms and high blood pressure monitoring. So I am doing this all again. If you're reading this, and you have to do the supervised dr thing, TELL YOUR DR WHAT THEY HAVE TO PUT IN YOUR NOTES! It will save you so much drama later.
Since I am re-doing this, Dr. Wallace says that I have everything else in place for approval. The psych eval, gallbladder ultrasound, dietician consults (we're going to add to these since I have nothing but time and Aetna will pay for them, so why not? lol) are all still good from last year. If everything goes according to plan, I can expect to have my surgery sometime in early 2006. (Perfect! I can plan on being home recuperating during the worst part of a Wisconsin winter -- woo hoo!) It will truly be a happy new year to me with a new lease on life.
Someone said if I did all this last year, why am I so d*** cheerful about doing all this again to get the surgery. I told them because it was the Lord's will that I not have the surgery until now. He knows just what I had to go thru to get to this point. His peace and comfort will truly keep me on this journey!!!
08-15-05
Did I mention that my dr wants me to lose at least 10 lbs before surgery? I told him that was not a problem with my yo-yo dieting history... My problem will be keeping it off until surgery. Keep me in your prayers!
09-07-05
Not too much to report since my last post. I'm trying to follow my dietician's plan for me and I've been adopting some 'pouch rules' as well so I'm ready for my transition after surgery. I'm happy that I've lost 4 of the 10 pounds I need to lose so far. With my PCOS and insulin resistance, it's extremely hard to lose weight.
I've been praying for all those affected by Hurricane Katrina. One of my girlfriends from college emailed me last week saying that her father was missing. I cried and cried that he was lost. I asked my church family to pray for her family and I was so happy to get another email from her today and it said that he was found!!! He was one of the first moved out of the Superdome and flown to Houston and no one knew where he was. I was crying again, exept this time it was tears of joy!!! God is good! Check out their pic from the news in my Picturetrail albums. Keep me in your prayers as I pray for you, too.
11-02-05
It's been a minute since I've posted. I'm still going to my monthly weight loss meetings with my doctor, and I've been trying to lose weight, but it's been very hard lately. Since that initial 4 pounds I lost, I haven't lost any more. My October dr visit was a disaster. My dr really upset me. She scolded me like I was a naughty child who was repeatedly misbehaving for not having lost any weight. She told me I have to excercise to make a difference on the scale. I told her about my increasing difficulty moving around because of joint pain in my knees, back and ankles. She actually told me not to come back until I lose weight and show her that I'm serious about having wls. She said I need to cut my caloric intake to 1000 calories/day. I told her that I never felt full after eating. She told me I needed to have more willpower. I felt so terrible. I felt like a failure once again. I feel so worthless for being obese.
I left her office and sat and cried and cried in my suv. My weight loss struggle is like a huge rollercoaster in my life. I lose, I gain. I lose, I gain more. I lose less, I gain even more. This is my whole reason for pursuing wls. I know all the 'rules' for losing weight. I know I need to decrease caloric intake and increase exercise. I've done it many times before - with sporadic success. I eat tons of veggies daily. I limit my sweets. I park far away in the parking lot. I painfully walk four flights of stairs at work. I stop on every landing to wipe the sweat off my face and catch my breath because I feel like my heart is going to pop out of my chest. I've done the weight loss pills. I've done the fad diets. I've starved myself. I've only drunk water. I'm tired of taking high blood pressure medication. My PCOS symptoms are getting worse with every weight loss failure I have. I'm sick of testing my blood to see if type II diabetes has me in it's grip yet. I HAVE TRIED AND AM TRYING SO HARD! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED!!!!
I've been struggling to lose weight for so many years with no success that I can tell I'm beginning to really get depressed by this whole situation. I've been trying to be positive and keep focusing on the end goal of getting approved by my ins co., but it's getting harder and harder.
I'm so frustrated right now...
12-15-05
Happy holidays to everyone! I love this time of year when I reflect on the real meaning of Christmas -- Jesus was born into this world to sacrifice His life for us and to save us from sin. And right now, I am feeling hopeful, too. My 6 months of dr supervised weight loss is complete! I can't wait until I have a re-birthday that will save me from obesity. A lot has happened since I posted in November. I have to add that my mood is much improved as well.
I did the sleep study. They found that I don't have sleep apnea, but that I do have a mild sleep disorder. I don't need a CPAP machine, but I was advised to lose weight before my problem gets worse. For those of you who may have to have a sleep study, be prepared to not actually sleep well. It was weird to be hooked up to all those wires and electrodes. The ones I hated the most were the ones that were glued to my face and in my hair -- UGH! I had a nightmare that something was strangling me and when I woke, I was tangled up in all the darned wires.
I also had to have my psych eval redone since my other one was more than a year old. Results: I am still in my right mind and am a good candidate for surgery. Whew! The psych told me that the anxiety and depression I've been exhibiting lately are common in obese patients who are trying to lose weight and are not successful.
I saw my dietician today and she said that I am doing everything right to ensure my success after surgery. Woo hoo! I've adopted some 'pouch rules' like not drinking within 30-40 minutes of eating, no carbonated sodas, and limiting my carbohydrate intake. She wasn't even upset that I GAINED 10 pounds since my last visit when I told her that my endocrinologist switched me from metformin to actos for my insulin resistance. She immediately said not to worry -- actos makes you gain weight. She also said that she was going to make a huge note in her writeup about the med switch to explain the weight gain. Thanks for the encouragement, Amy! (But I'm still worried - that's 10 more pounds that I have to lose AND these 10 pounds bring me to my HIGHEST WEIGHT EVER.)
Anyways, I'm happy Dr. Wallace's office is taking over the paperwork side of things and submitting everything to my ins co. soon. I'll be calling to help keep them moving... Please pray with me for a quick submittal and even quicker response from Aetna.
01-20-2006
Happy belated new year 2006! I am happy to report that after gaining 10 pounds from that medication switch, that I managed to lose 9 of those pounds. My dr wants me to stay on the actos since I'm tolerating it well and it's regulating my blood sugar correctly. As long as I don't gain any more weight, I guess I can agree with him on that.
My big news: I just received word from my surgeon's office that they submitted all my paperwork to Aetna on this past Weds (1-18-06). Yay!!! They told me to continue my monthly doctor's visits until I hear back from either them or Aetna. No problem. The waiting is the killing part... Please pray for me as I pray for you.
02-01-06
I joined the Y this weekend with the kids. I hope their energy and enthusiasm will help keep me motivated to go regularly and get in the habit of excercising to help my progress after surgery. We did a tour of the facility we'll use most and asked plenty of questions. I go for my first session this evening.
My knees are giving me some real trouble right now. They hurt and ache constantly, even after taking pain meds. It's very hard to walk the 4 flights of stairs here at work. (And no, we don't have an elevator either). It could be my osteoarthritis or it could be long term effects of injury from a major car accident I was in years ago.
It's been exactly 14 days since my paperwork has been submitted. I am waiting to hear back from Aetna. (Lord, grant me patience and I want it NOW!!!) I called them yesterday and they told me that my paperwork was in review. I asked the lady how long the review would take and she told me that they had no set time frame for the review. According to my policy, they have up to 30 days to make a decision. I'll probably call daily to remind them to speed up the process. lol I'm praying that they make a speedy decision!
2-03-06
I AM APPROVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe it!!! My surgeon's office called and left a message on my mobile. I didn't check for any msgs until noon and I can hardly contain myself. I called my sister and mom immediately and they were both so happy for me. I can't wait until I get a date and a re-birthday!!!
2-04-06
Halleleujah!!!!!! I have a date!!!!! Tuesday, March 21, 2006 at 11 AM is my rebirthday!!!! I saw my sister and we hugged and cried together. My mom and dad said not to worry about the kids - they'll be keeping them for a few weeks so I can recuperate from surgery. I am so thankful for my family. Even my baby brother said he'll help out with anything I need. I love them so much. Thanks to BAF for all their continuing support. Being here on OH is so important - I'm glad this site is here! Pray for me as I pray for you!!!
2-19-06
Lately, I've been so happy I'm finally going to have surgery, I've been able to dream about the things I want to be able to do in the future. (And not necessarily in this order, either!!!) I got the idea from someone's page on OH - sorry I don't remember their name...
100 Reasons I Want WLS:
DONE 1. To walk without pain in my feet, legs, back and butt
DONE 2. Sit in any chair I want without worrying about will the chair survive
3. Eat without having everything drop on my chest
DONE 4. See my toes while standing upright
DONE 5. To ride a bike again without being embarrassed by ‘flat’ tires
DONE 6. To know I have more than just a ‘cute face’
7. To wear a swim suit on the beach without being humiliated
DONE 8. Cut my toenails without having to twist my body into weird shapes
9. Not have to pull my shirt over my gut every time I get up
10. Walk into any store and buy cute clothes off the rack
11. Wear tight fitting jeans and a belt
DONE 12. Wear high heeled shoes without breaking them
DONE 13. Sit in any car and not feel like a canned sardine
14. To REALLY enjoy having sex
15. Have no fear of having my picture taken
16. Have boundless amounts of energy
DONE 17. No longer feel like a slave to food or my weight
18. To avoid other health problems caused by obesity
19. To avoid early death caused by obesity
20. To not have to pull the legs of my shorts down every few steps
DONE 21. To not have lawn chairs break because of the weight
DONE 22. To be able to walk any distance without having to look for a bench to sit down
23. To be able to actually run and catch a plane, train, bus and not be all sweaty
DONE 24. To not have tired, achy legs from minimal activity
DONE 25. To not be in bed by 8 pm every night because I’m exhausted
26. To not fear fitting in public seating
DONE 27. To be proud of myself
28. To not have someone remark, "Look at what you did to yourself"
29. To not have someone ask me, "When is the baby due?”
30. To be able to take a real bath and submerge.
31. To sleep through the night without having to get up to pee.
32. To not be ashamed when children looked at me and giggle
DONE 33. To not constantly diet, gain, diet, gain more…
DONE 34. To ease the pain in my joints
DONE 35. To not avoid mirrors
36. To be able to get up off the floor easily
37. To not worry if I’ll fit into an airplane seat
38. To not have bras cut into my chest, breasts and shoulders
DONE 39. To be able to cross my legs
40. To not push myself up with my arms and hands when rising from a chair
41. To ease the burden the extra weight is putting on my heart
42. To go to Six Flags and ride all the roller coasters with the kids
43. To be able to clean my home without it feeling like a punishment
DONE 44. To not have to look for a parking place close to the door because I can’t walk any farther
45. To be able to turn over in bed without having to wake up first
DONE 46. To not have to put on a "happy" face for others
DONE 47. To not suffer from the summer heat and being miserable
DONE 48. To be more attractive
49. To not fear trying new things because of my weight
50. Shop at Victoria's Secret
DONE 51. To not have to ask ‘What’s the largest size you have in that?”
DONE 52. To sit comfortably in a booth at a restaurant
53. Have an attractive profile
54. Be able to wear skirts
55. So I won't think people are laughing or talking about me
DONE 56. To be able to tie my shoes
DONE 57. So my ankles won't swell
58. To be able to pick something up off the floor without wondering if my pants will split
DONE 59. To buy clothes because I like them and not because that’s all that will fit me
60. Dance the whole night
DONE 61. To not think up some excuse for not doing something because of my weight
DONE 62. To not have my belly hit the steering wheel in the driver's seat
DONE 63. To not be afraid to step on the bathroom scale
64. To never be embarrassed about my size
DONE 65. To not count tying shoes as daily exercise
66. To not be more out of shape than my parents
DONE 67. To be able to shave my legs completely
68. To not be self-conscious about eating in front of others
69. To not be afraid to ask which hairstyle suits my face
DONE 70. To not have the fear of being rejected
DONE 71. To wear one size fits all and it fits me
DONE 72. To go between cars in a parking lot and not dust it off with my belly/butt
73. To not be afraid to send pictures to family
74. To not take fat jokes personally
75. To be able to stand still, carrying nothing and still look poised
DONE 76. To cross your arms across your chest without them resting on your stomach
DONE 77. To have my feet get smaller
78. To not wonder if people are nice to me because they pity me
DONE 79. To see my reflection in a mirror or store window without turning away
80. To not have to check the weight limit on rides, chairs, exercise equipment or anything
81. To stop hiding from the world
DONE 82. To look forward to shopping and just trying on clothes
83. Run for the bus and not be totally winded
DONE 84. Stand with my feet together
85. Read in bed by pulling my knees up and resting the book on my thighs
86. To not worry about rashes and sweating
87. To see my hip bones again
DONE 88. Have a bath towel or even pool towel fit around me
89. To wear stylish clothing
DONE 90. To be able to compete for better jobs
DONE 91. Be able to wear chokers again – and not actually choke while wearing them
92. To wear nylons without them rolling down my stomach.
93. Eat an ice cream without being stared at
DONE 94. Try all kinds of activities with the kids and be able to keep up
95. Look forward to dressing up when going to a party
96. Be able to scratch my back (and anywhere that itches)
97. Be able to use the vacuum cleaner without wanting a shower afterwards
DONE 98. To run the stairs all day at work and not wish for an elevator to magically appear
99. To live longer
100. BECAUSE I'M WORTH IT!
3-09-06
March 21 is fast approaching. I'll be donating a pint of blood or so to myself in case they need it during surgery a few days beforehand. I've finished all my pre-op testing and surgery class. The meeting with Deb, the Nurse Practictioner was most informative. She answered so many of my questions.
I absolutely love all of Dr. Wallace's staff - they really take the time to let their information sink in and then give you enough time to ask questions. Cris, the RN, has undergone RNY herself so she is a plethora of information for a pre-op like me. I have to give Dr. Wallace some extra points because I ran into him after my appt with Deb and he actually knew my name! :-) I was impressed!
3-11-06
I have had some MAJOR DRAMA at work these last few days and I know I haven't been eating much of anything at all. I haven't been sleeping too well either. As a result of all this stress, I now have a terrible sore throat, fever and a headache that won't quit. I called my surgeon's office and asked them if this would delay my surgery. They said hopefully not and told me to see my pcp. I went to my pcp this am - she doesn't think it's developed into strep or anything serious since I've only had symptoms for less than 24 hrs. I told her I don't want ANYTHING to hinder my ability to have surgery on the 21st. She agreed with me and gave me an rx for antibiotics to take just in case. (Which is perfectly cool w me since I haven't had to take antibiotics for anything in over a year).
I'm putting the finishing touches on my advance directive and will with my lawyer. I want my kids to be taken care of in case of the worst happening. I still have to write letters to them and the rest of my family and friends - those will be so hard to do... It seems I've been thinking about the negative lately -- but I like to think that I'm being proactive... You know, taking care of the what ifs just in case... Pray for me as I pray for you!
3-18-06
Whew! I'm almost to the losing side. I can't wait for the 21st to get here!!! I have been doing my dr's pre-op diet and stocking my shelves with everything I'll need when I come home. I cleared my desk at work and left directions for my replacement while I recuperate.
Since I'm a school administrator, I had to send a letter to all parents and staff about my absence. I haven't told anyone the details of my medical leave - only that I'm having surgery. It was sooo hard not to cry in front of the kids when they told me not to leave them. I had to reassure them that I'd be back soon. Several of my colleagues made me cry when they gave me cards and get well gifts. I've tried not to get mushy, but I can't help it.
I get all welled up with emotion when I think about the old me 'dying' in order to be reborn into a healthier, happier me. There's so much God has for me yet to do, that I have to make sure I'm around to do it!!! Pray for me as I pray for you!!!
3-28-06
I'm a LOSER!!!!! The Lord kept His angels around me, guiding my surgeon's hands as he did his work and now I can testify about how I made it to the other side!!!!!
As of today, I am one week out and down 8 pounds according to my scale. (My skinny sister checked it for accuracy and she said it was 5 lbs off so I'll take her word for it since she knows her weight to the tenth of a pound at any given time...) My surgeon was able to do my RNY LAP. I am so happy! One of my nurses had the surgery too and she showed me her scar from her open procedure. She said the worst part was healing from that huge incision. Mine only itch occasionally so I can't complain. The staff at Froedert were wonderful! Dr. Wallace is a very down-to-earth, tell-it-like-it-is kinda guy. One of his fellows, Dr. Nuttleman, was the complete antithesis of him. He used humor more in his dealings with patients while at the same time impressing upon them the seriousness of what was going on.
I have no problem getting my water in. I'm already past 64 oz daily and have added milk in to supplement my protein. Now THAT is where I'm having major issues. My recommended protein intake is 60 grams - I'm only getting in maybe 25-35g. Everyone says it takes time to work it in, but if you know me personally, you know I'm a perfectionist. It really irritates me when I can't do something right. (Lord grant me patience - and I want it NOW!!!!) lol
I'll update more later!
4-9-06
News for today: I'm down 22 pounds and I'm past the pureed food stage!!! Yeah!!! Now I'm on my Dr's stage 2 gastric bypass diet which consists of ground foods (fork mashable). For all you pre-ops, I believe that stage 1 (liquid and pureed food) is the worst. I loved chicken before surgery - baked, broiled, or sauteed in broth - but I couldn't tolerate pureed chicken at all. Yuck! I really couldn't stand much of anything else either. A couple things I found that were pretty good: tuna and yogurt. Baby food wasn't too bad either if I really doctored it up w seasonings.
My dr says my ports are healing fine. I beg to differ since I bruise and scar easily. But these scars will be my favorite ones! :-)
4-23-06
I hope everyone had a restful and peaceful Easter holiday! I am down 30 pounds and I couldn't feel better. I haven't seen weight loss like this since I went on a water diet and starved myself. It's truly amazing that I have no feeling of hunger whatsoever. I've NEVER had this feeling before. I have to force myself to eat and when I do, I get SO FULL I feel like I used to feel after a Thanksgiving dinner with all trimmings and dessert!!! lol
My doc says I can go back to work on May 8 for half days. I'm actually looking forward to going back... lol Pray for me as I continue to pray for you!
5-15-06
I'm so happy to say that I'm still complication-free! Drum roll, please... I'm down 40 pounds!!! I'm no longer morbidly obese but just obese now. I get a thrill every time I go to the closet to get dressed and I can't find anything because everything is getting too big. I had been wearing size 26/28 before my surgery, and that was tight. I can fit my old size 22s now and they are baggy.
My family has been so supportive. I couldn't have made it through all of this without their support. My parents I know I've said this
before, but I can't say it enough. The kids are so helpful, too. I freak them out sometimes when I eat a little too much of something and slap my hand on my chest and begin to gag or rub my belly. I reassure them that mommy just ate too much and has to stop eating because my new tummy is too full. I've never seen kids clear my place at the table so fast! Bless their little hearts!
I haven't told anyone at work specifically what I had surgery for because I don't want to hear their negativity or comments about why I did it. Most of my co-workers say that I look refreshed, good, or that I seem more peppy. LOL I feel like saying, I'm 40 pounds lighter in just 7 weeks--all of the above!!! The half-days have been tiring me out though. If you're a pre-op, make sure you build up your stamina enough to return to work so you won't feel wiped out like I did...
Unfortunately, I've just discovered that I can tolerate sugar (specifically chocolate). I won't go into all the gory details of how that discovery was made, but suffice it to say that I ate something that I shouldn't have and was bracing for the inevitable 'dumping syndrome' which should have ensued and it never happened. The only thing that I did get was a HUGE guilt trip and an ENORMOUS feeling of failure. My sweet tooth was my big problem before surgery! I have to avoid sweets like the plague now... I can't imagine sabotaging my efforts with a candy-bar binge. :-(
I have to say special thanks to my friend S who has been so very supportive of me throughout this whole process. With his medical background, he has been invaluable in helping me understand my metabolism, my dietary needs, and my changing body. Thanks for listening to me complain and worry about things and for responding to my hysteria in your usual calm, caring way. Your house calls are so sweet --I know you're so busy at your three hospitals! You mean the world to me!!! Pray for me as I pray for you!
7-07-06
It's been a while since I've updated my page here! My apologies!!! I've been busy getting more active and I'm seeing the results every day. I'm still complication free and following my dr's orders. I'm down 57 pounds and I am still amazed that I am still actually losing weight. I had my 3 month check up 2 weeks ago and my blood work showed that I'm slightly anemic and now I have to take daily iron pills. That brings my total vitamin and supplement intake to 10 pills daily. Small price to pay for a healthier me. I just keep my pill minder fully loaded and I take them faithfully every day.
For years and years, I've struggled with my weight loss and to see the pounds melt away is truly a miracle to me. I can put on clothes I had on last week and already I can see them getting baggy. Even my panties are baggy. I'm so excited to wear size 18 clothes again and that they are loose! My daughter isn't complaining since she's 11 and now loves to go shopping. I am now the queen of sales. I can't afford to go buy clothes and then get rid of them 2 weeks later... lol My biggest clothing surprise was my shoes. I can't believe that my shoe size is down 1 to 1.5 sizes now. I can fit an 8.5 (and 9 depending on the style).
I got my bike out the garage and now I go biking with the kids. That's something I've NEVER done with them. They are so excited that I can go and do more with them. They see me get ready for a walk and they go with me. I'll have my water bottle with me to go to the store and they'll run get theirs so they can sip while we shop too. I'm so glad that I'm becoming a healthier role model for them. I was eating lunch with them and one asked if I was sure I was going to eat all of that (4 oz of grilled chicken, 1/2 cup of steamed veggies) I told them maybe, maybe not depending on how full I felt. They were like okay - Grandma tells us to clear our plates. I told them not to do that - just eat until they felt full and then stop. I don't want them to go down the obesity road like I did and face all the health challenges that I am now overcoming.
I had my first (and last) dumping experience with some double fudge brownie soy ice cream one hot day a couple weeks ago. Since I knew I could tolerate sugars, I thought that surely I could have some ice cream. WRONG!!!! I ate 1/2 cup and was begging God to help me. I felt TERRIBLE!!! I was sweating, my heart was racing, had violent stomach cramping, was retching (nothing came up), and was nauseous for over an hour until I fell into a fitful sleep curled up on my sofa. The bad thing was that THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO!!! All I could do was wait for it to pass. That episode has totally cured my sugar sneaking.
Pray for me as I pray for you!
7-22-06
I'm now down 65 pounds! I can't believe it until I get on the scale and see it. My skinny sister bought me a scale that keeps your last 10 weights in memory along with the dates so you can track your progress. It measures in tenths of pounds and also gives you your BMI. I am amazed that my BMI is now 35.5 and I'm just obese and not morbidly obese anymore.
I signed up and went to my first body toning class. I was so nervous until I went in and saw all the other folks in there who were as big as me or bigger. My trainer Lewis was soo cool. I had spoken to him a few days earlier and asked him all kinds of questions about what would go on in his class. I explained that I was a WLS patient and was just getting into excercising and that my dr wanted me to work on toning up. He said I would have no problem in his class. (He's extremely buff and cute as all get out... lol) He said that when he was my age, he was out of shape too and decided to do something about it. I asked him how old he was if he didn't mind - he said he was 52! He looked like he was in his thirties! I was like whoa -- I KNOW I need to tighten all this stuff up now for real -- I wanna look as good as he does when I'm his age.
Let's just say his class kicked my butt. Class was on Thursday, and here it is Saturday and my abs, butt, and legs are still aching. Lewis did a great job explaining all the moves and what part of the body they would benefit. I hung in as best I could and tried all the moves, but there were times when I couldn't do all the reps. Whew!!! Lewis was truly encouraging throughout and when he asked how I liked the class, I told him I'd be back next week. My personal goal now is to be able to hang for the entire class and do EVERYTHING he dishes out! LOL
Does anyone know what to do for carb cravings??? I'm having real issues with breads and simple sugars!!!! Pray for me as I pray for you!!!
