Danielle G.
Hello, my name is Danielle Amy Gangel my family and friends all call me Dani. I used to think that i would never be normal, highschool was hell and with age i realize it wasnt just me that felt that way. However at the time of my graduation weighing 270 pounds I was in hell, I played a part trying to hold in all the fear and hurt. People who knew me back then, tell me that I was a total bitch that my exterior was so thick emotionally that it didnt even matter if my body fat paralled that thickness, all that people saw was an unhappy young woman. I never smiled, I rarely laughed, and you would be hard pressed to see me stand in front of a camera. After i graduated high school, i did a year in college, for the sake of my sanity now, lets just say i flirted with the edge of comepletly giving up on life that year. I locked myself away in fear of everything and everyone, of embarrasement. I knew i was obese I live in california for goodness sake, i was the largest girl on campus, but you wouldnt know that because the only time i left my dorm was to go to class or drive home on the weekends. I never ate at the cafeteria, because i felt everyone was staring and judging me, and i never participated in school fuctions (dances). I wanted to give up, to end my life because i felt there was no hope in it getting better, no hope on being happy. I was wrong, and in a last ditch effort spurred by the strength only God can give a person, i decided to have a full gastric bypass. My mother was extremly supportive, and within a month i had found a great surgeon, gotton approved and scheduled my surgery. It all happened just as fast as it sounds. I will be honest I wasnt prepared for the following year, emotionally and physically. After surgery i began to lose weight extremly fast, my pre-op weight 315, in that first month i lost about 36 pounds and kept losing. The withdrawls from food, were horrible, i felt like a drug addict coming down. The first time i cheated 4 weeks after surgery i tryed to eat a slice of cheese, well i ended up in the fetal position crying on the bathroom floor, with my older sister saying "what did you eat" i hated her in that moment, i hated myself, and everyone around me. The realization of my new life hit me like a ton of cheese bricks, i would never again eat the things i did before, never again could i pig out until my buckle burst. I would be able to relie on food to make me feel better, happiness would and should have to come from inside. Many problems arise after GBS, hair loss, fatigue, dizziness, and EXTREMLY bad dumping are some of the things i experience. The physical i have learned to deal with, It didn't kill me only made me stronger. The emotional is a whole nother enchilada <----(i love these) back on point. I was unprepared for the emotional tormoil of being pretty, i never felt i was. I certainly never thought men would ever want to look at me with anything other then gross disdain. Im wrong, and as i started to lose weight men started to look, and people (women included) were much friendlier. Its taken almost my whole two years after surgery to feel good enough to laugh at myself, i am a scared, and unaware woman. Despit that im working on improving my emotions to catch up with the improvements on my body. Weekly sessions with a physcologist, and a supportive family/ friend group have continued to help me grow and heal. Since my GBS, i have had to plastic surgeries, first a lower body lift in which 8 pounds of skin was remove, and second a breast lift and agumentation. Painful, emotionally and physically, but the outcome has been to my advantage. Since my surgery i have gotten down to 145 pounds, at that particular weight i felt very weak and unhealthy, my surgeon agreed so i gained a little. At 156 I feel as if im right were i should be. That weight was about 8 months ago and since then i have gained 13 pounds, moving out into my first apartment bymyself, and away from home has been a struggle. Not to worry though, i have plans in motion and goals set to get that 13 pounds off by my best-friends wedding in july. Two hours of yoga a week, and two mile walk/jogs a day and i know i will be back down to a small 10 by then so wish me luck you all, cause this cali girl has plans for her black bikini this summer. My road has been long, the struggle constant, but and uphill walk only makes the veiw at the top more fullfilling once you reach it. Those in depth words from a 22 year old, who loves the uphill, and now thanks to GBS dose that walk with a smile on her face, and in her heart.