The good, the bad, and the ugly

Feb 29, 2012

So here it is.  I had WLS on November 28, 2005 and well it appears I failed it.   This of course depends on who you ask.  Myself - I failed it, I didn't lose all of the weight anticipated and then I gained some back, okay a lot back.   My husband and good friend will tell you I did not fail.  A series of unfortunate circumstances have led me to where I am.   My doctor, however, today basically informed me poor choices have caused me to fail.  My wonderful MIL who I love dearly informed me I failed - because I gained weight back.

I think that there are a lot of people who don't always tell you the whole truth about this journey.   I want you to know I researched this surgery for 3 years.  Every week I read the profiles of the people who had died.  I needed to know what I was getting into.   So I thought I knew it all and maybe somewhere deep down I truly did know it all and abolished it to the far reaches of my soul because seriously at 455 lbs hope is all you really have.

When I woke up from this surgery I was so nauseated I thought I would die.  In fact one day in the hospital I sat on the toilet with it coming out of both my mouth and the other area.  I still remember sticking my hand out the door so they could do a sugar check.  I also proclaimed I would die on this day because nothing could feel worse than this.  After 3 days of this I'm going to die, I'd rather sleep than be awake and nauseated I was better, or so I thought.  On the 4th day I woke up and I felt amazing and the nausea was gone.  The dr kindly discharged me home.  There is where it started again.  For a solid month I could not ride in the car and certainly wasn't driving anywhere - the nausea and dizziness were overwhelming.  The smell of food would also send me into this nausea and dizziness.   My sweet husband ate his dinner at the stove.   My son lived on subway so I didn't smell it.   Every third commercial is about food - the food you cannot have, the food you never really wanted before the surgery, but now the food your brain swears you need.   But as with all bad things this  came to pass. 

3 months later I was on the floor of my son's room doing homework with him and I went to get up and I couldn't.  I had no feelings in my legs and no strength.  He pulled me up and off to a new set of problems.  I couldn't step up on a curb without my husband's assitance.  So off we went to the surgeon who suggested I see a neurologist.   That was a wonderful trip all on it's own.  By this time I had lost 100 lbs.  This was amazing and everything I had hoped for.   The neurologist, let me just say was a bit out there.  She proclaimed that I either had MS or a brain tumor, but she'd get to the bottom of it.  On the way home I remember crying because this wasn't supposed to happen.  I had WLS so I could be in a wheelchair or die?   This wasn't what was supposed to be - I was going to get my life back.  Then the selfish me was told to shut up by the real me.  Face the facts - if this is your future - then you had the surgery so your family didn't kill themselves taking care of a 455 lb woman.  

At my surgeon's insistance I found a amazing primary care physician, Dr. Ronald Eliosoff (if you live in Ottawa -look him up) and a different neurologist.    Upon hearing my symptoms Dr. Eliosoff's prognosis was depleted B1.   So this would be another point they don't tell you about - lose weight to fast and the B1 bottoms out.   Blood work confirmed this dx.   Here I was on my journey with 3 doctors keeping me in check.   All is well until 2007 and Dr. E returns to Canada.  I ask him who should I see and he tells me I can't recommed anyone in my group.   Do I listen to this?  No.   I go to a dr in his group and while I know that she is a superb dr - she wasnt his choice.

In 2009 I show the first signs of anemia.  I'm given Icar C - no improvement, my b12, b1, b6, and Vitamin D levels are also pretty bad.  We try all kinds of vitamins and sometimes improvement happens, but most of the time not.  In order to control the anemia I have my menstrual cycle stopped, upper and lower GI and when that all fails I begin iron transfusions.  

So here is what I think you should know:  A lot of Gastric bypass patients end up anemic and getting transfusions.   Your vitamins are not absorbed anymore in your stomach - makes sense.  The only problem with this is - and I assume I can't be the only person on the planet who thought that I was taking vitamins and they were helping.   Never did I think they aren't being absorbed anywhere and basically I'm wasting my time.  Lack of B12 will lead to irreversible neuropathy.  That is an awesome feeling btw.   Oh wait there is no feelings in your lower extremities - except a tingling as if everything is asleep.  

So this is how we got to today where I visited my surgeon to ask advice.   He had none except to see another surgeon.   He had no answers for better vitamins - he told me my surgery was doing exactly what it was supposed to.  He knew this because I'm not absorbing  the vitamins.  He thought my salt cravings during anemia led to bad choices which led to weight gain - ya think?

So at the end of the day this is what I think is important to know.  As I said before I could be the only idiot who didnt know this:
a.   You more than likely will swear you are going to die in the hospital because you've never been through anything like this.
b.    Nausea could develop for a while and greatly diminish your world.
c.     No matter how much you take your vitamins - they may not work.  
d.    After you eat food you may have the need for bathroom facilities to always be close by.
e.    Today you might eat as if you never had surgery and tomorrow 3 bites and you are done.
f.      If you lose weight too quick your B1 will drop - You honestly feel as if someone shot Novacaine into your hips and radiated 
        it down.
g.     Anemia is a very good possibility and with it could come iron infusions.  I have had 16 in the last 8 months. I now have a 
        port.  Most people crave ice, but others like me crave salt.   Salt is your crack and you will replace every healthy meal
        with a salty substitute - thus my poor choices.
h.     Do not let someone tell you that you can take a B12 sublingual or a B12 pill.   Insist on the B12 injection monthly.  B12
        deficiency will lead to irreversible neuropathy.
i.       I understand that there are vitamins that absorb in the colon.  I found this out from the secretary at the office of the
        surgeon I'm seeing next week.

There is so much good in this surgery and I believe in it and would do it again, but I thought I was being smart and going with a guy who wasn't  doing these all days trying to make a buck (see that is how I saw it).  Only I sold myself short, because I didn't know the correct vitamins to take and I didn't have the resources I needed.   But yes I made the poor choices of giving into the salt cravings and so I will reap what I have sown.   Currently my protein is too low - but sometimes meat just won't stay down.

This is your tool and you can do so much with it, but there are just some hidden issues that no one really talks about.  While this seems all over the place i just want people to understand there are underlying issues that no one ever says because they don't think about it.  It is time someone shares with you the what ifs and the could be.  

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