Divinehussy

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Well it's been awhile since I posted a blog about my Lapband and weight loss.  So, here it is!  When all this started I weighed in at 277.  That was the heaviest I had ever been (even during pregnancy I didn't weigh that much)!  I weigh pretty much every day just to keep myself in check.  I know you are only supposed to weigh once a week, but I just get too excited.  Anyway, my Lapband surgeon, Dr. Frank Felts, says that you are supposed to loose 8-10 pounds a month realistically.  So, I should be down 72 pounds by now.  I'm actually weighing in at 210 today, so I'm down 67 pounds which I say is pretty great.  My 1 year anniversary is May 9th and my goal is to weigh 181.  That will be exactly 8 pounds per month for 1 year. 

All of my friends know and I will tell everyone else out there.  I have struggled the past few weeks with "fat girl mentality".  This is the concept a former fattie goes through when she has lost a significant amount of weight but still sees the fat girl in the mirror.  I am totally suffering from this in a horrible way.  I see the scale, I am having to buy smaller clothes, but I don't see it in the mirror.  A few times this weekend I was pushed out of the way by a couple of people so they could get a picture of the skinny girls in their ho costumes, and I'm telling you it just made the problem cut a little deeper.  This will sound completely shallow, but for once I want to be the hot girl.  I have never known how this feels.  I honestly think only other fat girls will sympethize with me on this one.  But, even before this issue surfaced I had made plans to have plastic surgery in December.  I must be down to 150 pounds before I go in to have everything nipped and tucked, and I am busting my ass to be there.  I want this so bad for myself, but more so for my husband and son. 

Anyway, last year we had a pimps and hoes party and I wore a corset.  This year, I wore almost the same costume on purpose so I could get a before and after photo.  Please click on the link and let me know what you think.  Here ya go....

http://i257.photobucket.com/albums/hh233/divinehussy/scan0002.jpg

I'm not seeing much of a difference but I think it's the fat girl mentality kicking in again.  So, just keep me in your prayers.  Next years Pimps and Hoes party I hope a couple of people knock down the currently skinny girls to get a picture of me (God, that sounds totally self absorbed, but new boobs will do that to a guy).  Let's hope I make my 1 year goal and my 150 by Christmas Day.

Well, after my last blog about my Lapband I probably need to change my tune a little bit. 

I went to the hospital on Monday to possible get a fill in my band.  I complained to the tech about having chest pain, alot of belching, and a gurgling feeling while eating for the last couple of months.  So, they did a baruim swallow and xray of the band.  Come to find out, the small pouch about my band is stretched out.  This was caused by the band being too tight a couple of months ago and it just never really untightened the way it was supposed to.

So, I am able to hold 4cc's of fluid in my band and I was up to 3.2 already, but after seeing the pouch dilation they removed half of the fluid so I'm down to 1.6 cc's now.  They put me on a very restricted liquid diet for a week after which I have to go back in for another xray.  Having said all this, I'm soooooo pissed and cranky.  I have worked so freakin hard to get to this point only to have it start crumbling down around me.  The crappy lady at the bridal show started my bad month off by asking if I had ever considered a fat cleanse (the old bitch!), then some asshole at a party asked me to move out of the way so he could take a picture of the hot girls, and now the one thing keeping me from gorging myself on food is failing me.  Anyway, if I am short with anyone I apologize in advance.  Hunger, as you know, makes you cranky and ill tempered.  Maybe in a week I can have a piece of boiled chicken and I will calm down a bit. 

My poor, devoted, loving husband....I promise at some point you will have the wife you always wanted.

Love to you all.
A