doccortes
I was orginally approved for suergery and scheduled for April 2004. When I told my HR person in order to find out about my leave time he informed me the approval was a mistake. The company I worked for was self insured but managed through an insurance comapny. The insurance company approved the surgery due to medical neccessity, my company refused the surgery because it was specifically excluded in the insurance policy. After 7 months of appeals and being lead on with promises that the company would review and possbily allow the surgery, I quit my job and got a new one. Now I am waiting for the approval from my new insurance company. Since the initially approval I have been diagnosed with diabetis, sleep apnea, and joint problems. I am still waiting but hopeful this time around.
March 17, 2005
YEAH!!!! Surgery is scheduled for April 12th, almost an exact year from when I was scheduled before. I have preop appointments for the next 2 weeks and then start the liquid diet on April 2nd.
April 11, 2005
Tomorrow is the big day. I had a huge scare today when my doc called me to have me come in and weigh because he was concerned about an 18lb weight gain I had earilier in the approval process. He was going to cancel the surgery if I had not lost an adequate amount of weight on the liquid diet I have been on. I drove the hour and fifteen minutes to his office praying and worring. I have been on the liquid diet for 10 days and I have followed it well. I lost 22lbs. I was so relieved because the doc felt that was an adequate amount and the surgery is still on. It feels almost sureal. I have been weighting for so long (punn intended). I worry about the complications and have made a will and all that jazz, but I am ready to take this risk to have a better life. I am so tired of being limited by my size and health. I want to live, not just exist. I feel confident this is the right choice for me. People have been asking me all week if I am nerveous or scared. Ya, I'm scared something will happen at the last minute and I won't be able to have the surgery. I am nerveous that I might be one of the ones that is not able to use the tool that the surgery is to it's full advantage. But having the surgery, when I think of it, mostly I feel relief that this battle with this area of personal shame, failure, and guilt that I have had for so long in my life may be healed. I am ready and I hope next year at this time I will be glad, when I look back, that I made this decision and worked so hard to get the surgery. Good be with you till we meet again.
April 26, 2005
Hi everyone—First, I am home, I came home on Sunday but tonight was the first opportunity I have had to sit at the computer. I had some complications in surgery. When they opened me up there was a large mass attached to my left ovary. They biopsied the mass and found it was a non-cancerous cyst the size of a small football. The cyst had completely decimated the ovary so the doctor removed the ovary. The gastric-bypass surgery was completed without any further complications. I was in the hospital 2 days longer than originally planned because I got a fever on the second day. I also had some trouble urinating. They were very nice to me in the hospital and I appreciated my friends that live in the area as I almost always had someone with me while I was there.
Life post-op has been interesting. I stayed with some friends from church on their rice farm for a week once I was released from the hospital. We had fun trying to fix the meals I was able to have. I was so glad to have some real food after being on the liquid diet for the 10 days before surgery. For those of you who are curious, I have been eating 2-3 ounces of food per meal. It takes me anywhere from 45 minutes to 1.5 hours to eat these huge meals. I can have most things if they are soft, like mash potatoes, mac and cheese, canned vegs, canned fruit, oatmeal, eggs. I can start to eat meat next week. I have to chew everything about 30 times before I can swallow it. I have been doing well, I only felt like I was going to throw up one time, but the feeling went away after a few minutes.
I go to the doc tomorrow to have the rest of my staples out and he will tell me when I can go back to work. I have been walking real well and can finally sleep in the bed (I was sleeping in a recliner at my friends house). I still get tired real easy, but every day I feel stronger and can do more.
I want to thank everyone for their encouragement and support throughout this process. I could not have done this alone. I know I have a long way to go but I am so grateful that I made it to this point.
May 25, 2005
I am feeling great. I am off my diabetic medicine and am down 55lbs as of 2 weeks ago. I started back to work 3 weeks ago. The first week was rough and I ended up calling in sick 2 days, but what a difference a week makes because I was feeling great the next week. I have started walking a couple-3 times a week. The night after I walk I am exhausted, but the next day I am energized. I am handling most foods well now, I have only had a couple instances of dumping from eating too much too fast. I am a bit worried that my stomach can hold an entire Smart Ones frozen meal. I don't feel sick when I eat it but I thought I would not be able to eat that much food. My doctor has not been very good about giving me nutritian direction. I have asked him several times about how much protein I should eat and he always tells me not to worry about it. The only direction he has given me is to not drink when I eat and to not eat lettuce for 3 months. I suppose since I am feeling well I should not worry about it.
June 4, 2005
Life is going pretty well. I have been back at work for bout a month and I have been able to pretty much keep up my hectic work schedule and duties. I still am having good energy and am able to move around a lot better than I have in the months before surgery. Food is going down well. I only seem to have trouble with chicken (I get violently ill when I eat it). I feel very fortunate that I have not developed any serious food intolerances. I have been longing to get out of town for a while, but I used all my vacation time for the surgery. I am also still trying to conserve spending money as I am still am not certain of the final tally of the surgery and hospital bills from having the WLS. I saw "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" this past week and since then I have been longing to go to Greece. I swear I must have some Gypsy blood because my dream is to wander around Europe and see all there is to see. Of course I would want to stay in a villa and not a tent or cart (so maybe I am not so much a Gypsy as a trapped tourist in a non-touring existance). I used to tell my self I would take a trip to Europe when I was skinny or after I lost "X" number of pounds. I told myself I should not put off my dreams for a day that might not ever happen but I should live “as if”. I find myself continuing to live in that mindset of “. . . when I loose weight I will _______.” The truth is, it will still be several years until I reach my goal weight and I need to live my life now. Sometimes I think that is my exercise issue. “I’ll start exercising when I am thinner and feel more comfortable.” Instead I should be exercising so I can feel more comfortable.
December 15, 2005
Let me paint for you a picture of my life before surgery: I had severe sleep apnea to the point of being placed on a machine at night so I could breath while I slept, I was tired all the time, I was taking oral medication for diabetes, I got winded after even the smallest amount of physical exertion, hygiene was becoming a growing concern, I was depressed, I did not feel comfortable sitting, standing, laying down, leaning, etc, and I felt trapped. My health problems were spiraling out of control and no matter how hard I tried, I could not seem to get a grip on them.
Surgery is never fun, but the results began immediately. I have not taken medication for diabetes since being released from the hospital. My blood sugars are great, even when I do indulge in something sweet. I no longer have sleep apnea. I have now lost 145 lbs and can move and breathe so much easier. I have so much more energy and find myself going and doing more than I have in years. Even the way I care for myself has changed. Every morning I get up and fix my hair and put on perfume and wearing earrings (OK—so I will never be a girly-girl, earrings is my equivalent of dressing up).
I continue to have more weight to loss, but I am ecstatic with the results so far. Even if I never loss another pound, the surgery will have been so worth it. The choice I made to have gastric bypass surgery was never about being skinny and looking a certain part, it was about health. I do not value you thinness (How un-American of me), I never want to be a skinny women, skinny is not attractive to me; however, I do want to walk and not be weary, and run and not faint. Basically, I want to live, really live, and I feel that in the past month or so I have started to live the kind of life I have wanted to for so long.
I joined Curves as soon as I had the approval of my doctor to start exercising and I have enjoyed learning the different signals my body gives me about what it needs. My body is strong and loves to move and stretch and play. Regardless of the scars or sagging skin, my body is beautiful and I am blessed to have one that works as well as it does. It has been amazing to see how quickly and thoroughly it heals and adapts. Now, I not only workout at Curves, I have started walking and running at the track. I don’t run far and definitely not fast, but I run . . . I RUN!!!!! I want to keep my body in motion for the rest of my life.
January 21, 2006
The weight loss has slowed way down. I think that is mostly because I have not been eating the way I should. I have discovered oreo cookies again. I am exercising pretty well. I continue to work on running more. I want to be able to run a quater mile with out stoppoing by the end on February 2006. I also plan on doing some 5K's in the spring, even if I have to walk them at first. I am enjoying shopping more and find the items I bought a week ago are already getting too big. I am finally lossing weight in my abdomen and am so happy with that. So, even though I am not making the best food choices lately, I am still feeling so much better than before surgery. I lost 150lbs the first 9 months and still have at least 100lbs to go to reach my goal of being 200lbs. I know others have told me I should shoot for somewhere between 140 and 160, but I will be estatic with being 200lbs (like I have said before, I do not value thinnness, just health).
February 14, 2006
Happy S.A.D. (Singles Awareness Day--the single person's holiday celebrated on February 14th as you are never more aware that you are single then on this day). I have not updated my profile as I intended because my life is soooooooooo busy right now. Work is crazy and I have been putting in long days, so by the time I am done at work, I exercise and then fall into bed. I am hoping to have a break soon, but then again, I have been hoping for that break for a long time.
The weight loss is going slow at the moment. Around Christmas I slipped back into the habit of snacking and eating sweets. I have not indulged as I did before surgery, but the extra calories have slowed my progress down a lot. I tell my self frequently that “today will be the day I stop messing up and beg back to eating well.” Unfortunately, as that familiar tune goes, I continue in my negative behavior pattern. I have continued to exercise 3-4X per week and can move and breath so much better than before surgery. I finally broke the 300lb barrier a few weeks ago, dropping below 300lbs for the first time in 9 years. I figure I still have 100-130 more pounds to go. I went to a gastric-bypass support group meeting last month that had a plastic surgeon as a guest speaker. I got excited thinking about what I will look like after I have the body lift procedure. I am hoping that on my 2-year anniversary I will be ready to have the surgery. I also think I will need to buy me a set of boobs as my bust was the first thing to go. I just worry because I don’t want to feel fake and plastic, but I do what to have a somewhat “normal” shape. I was thinking that I would just have a bust lift, but the plastic surgeon stated that just a lift or just an augmentation did not typically give good results for patients who have lost a dramatic amount of weight.
My personal life is still very slow. I find myself looking around more at men and wondering when I will finally be attractive enough for a man to take notice of me and what to date. I think I am cute enough and nice enough, but I remain unattached. I am 32-years-old and truly never been kissed. At the New Year I thought to myself, “this will be the year,” however, I still don’t have any prospects. I worry that I may fall into the Charlotte Lucas (Pride and Prejudice) trap and settle for a man that I do not truly admire or love because I want so badly to be married and have children. I only have a few requirements for the man I want to be with (mutual respect, kindness, emotional maturity, faithful LDS priesthood holder, intellectually stimulating, good grooming, employed, and ability to laugh at himself) and I do not think I am being unreasonable. I know I am a hopeless romantic, watching romantic comedies and dreaming or romantic things, so I try to keep myself grounded by looking at the men my friends have chosen to marry and acknowledging that men typically are not as sensitive and romantically spontaneous as women would like. Reality is that men are typically attracted to physical aspects of women and they value physical attractiveness more than most other things. People have told me that the appearance may bring a man in but it will not keep him if there is nothing behind the beauty; however, this is of little comfort to me, as I still do not appear to have the physical beauty to bring them in. I get a little tired of my girlfriends and their husbands telling me what a catch I am and how beautiful I am. Sure they see the wonderful parts of me because they are not looking through the filter of trying to determine if they want a romantic relationship with me.
Well, I have self-disclosed enough for this entry. My hope is that the next time I sit down to write an update I will be even healthier, walking faster, and sleeping easier. I truly am happy that I had the surgery.
March 22, 2006
Weight loss has been at a stand still for several months. I gained a little bit of weight after my last post, enough to push me back over 300lbs. I dipped back under 300lbs this week again. I have been stressed out lately with work and family stuff so I have not been doing everything I need to like exercising and planning meals. I notice I snack more when I am stressed. I have been thinking that I will try a few of the things people on the website talk about like pushing protein and eating 5 small protein based meals a day. I freaked out recently when I felt my colar bone, I have never felt it before. I am sure it will be a while till I feel ribs, but I'm not sure if I will be able to handle that. My brother let me feel his ribs when I was telling him about the colar bone incedent and I could not get over how gross they felt. I am sure "normal" people don't get grossed out by things like that, but I have never claimed to be normal. My year mark is coming up April 12th. I scheduled my dr. appointment with Dr. Jones for that day, which means I will have the whole day off work. Maybe I will go get a pedicure and message. I started physical therapy last week because I was having a lot of lower back pain. My Dr. indicated it may be caused my the strain of my abdominal pouch hanging lower and weak stomach muscles. I think the physical therapy is helping because I have been much more comfortable since it all started. I asked my PCP to document all the health problems he sees as part of the weight loss so that maybe my insurance will pay for some of the skin removal that I will need. I fantasize about reconstructive surgery all the time. I think it will take me a year to get the remaining 100lbs off so that I will be ready for reconstructive surgery.
July, 9, 2006
I have 9 days before the panniculectomy. I was palnnig to wait another 9 months beore getting any type of plastic surgery, but my back has been giving me real problems, so my doc recommended going ahead with this initial surgery. I am kind of sad because I will not be looking as good as I hoped I would after having plastic surgery, but I am hoping that once I have this surgery and have healed I will be able to exercising more. I have been waling 2.4 miles 3-5 times per week and have done 4 5K races (to try to stay motivated to exercise), but i had to stop running because every time I did I would be flat on my back for days. I am glad that my insurance is going to pay 80% of the surgery. Hopefully by next April I will be close to goal and ready to complete the body lift procedures and will have a "normal body shape. I am down to 288lbs, which is a 161lb weight loss. I still need to loss 88 lbs to reach my goal. The surgery panniclectomy will remove approximiately 15 to 20lbs of skin. So I will still need to exercise and diet 68lbs. It may be a bit of a struggle to do in only 9 months, as that is 7.6lbs per month. Isn't typical weight loss 4lbs per month. I will definately need to step it up a bit.
August 28, 2006
Well, I have been on a wild ride for the past 6 weeks and it is not over. I had the panniculectomy surgery on July 18th in which my doctor removed an incredible 31lbs of material. When I woke up after the surgery, I was amazed to finally have a lap. I could see my thighs just by looking down (that probably sounds crazy to you since most people have a lap, but I don’t ever remember having access to mine). I did not have much pain and after spending 4 days in the hospital, which was about 3 days longer than what the doctor anticipated, I went to stay with some people from church. I was out of the hospital four days when I returned because I was having frequent fevers and it appeared I was developing a subdural hematoma along the incision line just to the left of my newly located belly button.
The second surgery was a pure nightmare. I waited at the hospital 8 hours to go to the operating room. When I woke up after surgery I was in the worst pain I have experienced in my life. I tried to tell the nurse anesthetist that I was hurting, but he dismissed my complaints, saying he had already given me pain medicine. I laid in the post-op recovery room in pain for over an hour when they finally took me up to my room where my friend was waiting for me. I was crying and a mess. The nurses immediately game me morphine and my pain started to subside. I think the nurse anesthetist either did not give me enough anesthesia and I came out of it took quickly or he did not give me much pain medicine. But the bad news is because of that experience, I became extremely afraid of surgery and pain.
The doctor told me the next day I did not have a subdural hematoma when he opened me up. Instead, because he had undermined the fat layer from the muscle layer during the initial surgery, and now the fat layer was not reconnecting to the blood supply quickly enough and fat way dieing. Because the fat was dieing, the skin lying on top of the fat was dieing. He had to cut out the dead fat and skin leaving a 2X16 inch hole where there was no skin or fat, just muscle.
Unfortunately, the fat continued to die and over the next week I had 2-3 additional surgeries that made the hole get bigger and bigger. The good news is that I fired the nurse anesthetist from my case and had a very empathetic anesthesiologist from then on who made sure I did not wake up in pain. My doctor then hooked me up to a wound vacuum that sealed the wound (so I could take a shower) and forced the wound start circulating fluids.
To add to this unfortunate situation, in this process the doctor discovered I was anemic and had extremely low protein (which is very important in the healing process). So I was not feeling good, was scared of being in pain, and then they wanted me to eat large amounts of high protein food. One problem, it is difficult to eat large quantities of any kind of food after having gastric bypass surgery. So my friends started bringing me special protein drinks to boost my blood consistency. Also, to enrich my poor blood, I was given frequent blood transfusions.
After a week of this regiment, my doctor went on vacation to the south of France and left me in the hands of the only other plastic surgeon in town that has a bad reputation for infections and poor work. This other doctor was a real quack. Her first visit with me she immediately began talking about drastically changing my treatment from what my doctor had started with the wound-vac. She started me on a massive antibiotic because she said they found staph bacteria when they cultured my wound, but it was only the common staph that is found on everyone’s skin, not the dangerous kind that turn into life threatening staph infections. I fired the stand-in doctor twice, but eventually they told me that because she was the only other plastic surgeon in town, if I fired her I would have to transfer to a hospital in Memphis or Little Rock. I knew no doctor was going to take my case with all the complications and eventually I had to accept that I had no choice, she was my doctor until my competent doctor returned.
Eight days after my doctor left for vacation in Europe, there was a bomb scare with airplanes flying from London to the U.S.. My doctor was scheduled to fly home the next day. Though I was nervous, lucky for me, his family made their flight. The first good news of this ordeal was he was pleased that my wound was looking better and he scheduled surgery for two days later where he put in a synthetic skin graph that has bovine collagen underneath and a silicone layer on top. After over 3 weeks of being in the hospital and 5-6 additional surgeries, I finally was released from the hospital.
I stayed with some church members for about ten days and came home last Saturday. I appreciate the time and effort that my friends at church expended while I was staying with them, but it was so nice to be home and see my cats. I have a home health care nurse that comes out to change my dressings on my wound one time a day. The wound looks better every day. In about two weeks I will go back to the hospital and have a real skin graph. The doctor will take skin from my back to cover the now 11X4 inch wound to seal it. After 6-9 months, I will return to the hospital where he will remove the graphs and close the wound the way it was originally supposed to be closed.
This has been a wild ride. I am very grateful to be home and finally be healing. Everyday I feel stronger and am able to do more. I finally made it through a few days without having to take a nap—what an accomplishment. I have started working from home and hope to have enough paperwork to keep me busy at home for the next two weeks. Through this all, I have been blessed by the people I share my life with in Arkansas. Not only did friends bring me things I needed which often required a 2-3 hour round trip drive, they also anticipated how I might feel and ways to cheer me up when I was in the hospital for so long.
Even when things were getting worse and looking bleak, I always had this feeling that I would be ok. I wish I could say my faith was strong enough so that the feeling that I would be ok casted out my fear, but there were many moments when I was so scared. When faced with a situation in which you question your own mortality, it is amazing how much you value life. I tried not to think too many doom and gloom ideas and remain positive.
I am now down to 242lbs (loss of 206lbs).
November 10, 2006
I am feeling really good. My abdomen is healing well, and Dr. Mejewski and I decided this week that we will return to surgery on February 21, 2007 to remove the skin graph and close the wound properly. We also decided he would remove the excess skin from my arms at the same time. I am very excited about the arm surgery as it looks like I have big sacks of dough on the tops of my arm. I worry a little bit about lossing arm mobility, but feel certain I will regain my functioining quickly.
I have been gaining some weight lately. I think it is mostly due to my inactivity. I was doing so well prior to my panniculectomy surgery with walking most days and doing a 5K at least monthly. I have only walked 2X's this week, and I still am not doing my 2.8 miles a day. I did complete a 5K a few weeks ago and was happy that I was able to do it in approximately the same time as I did before surgery (58 minutes). I am going to join a gym and do some sessions with a personal trainer, so I am hoping to get back on the wagon so-to-speak. But, as of yesterday, I am back to 258lbs. So, I am hoping that by the time I have my surgery in February I will be down to 225lbs. I think I should be able to loss 33lbs in almost 4 months.
January 2, 2007
Yesterday I did it, I ran a mile without stopping. that is the first mile I have ever run. It was a long time coming, but I was so excited to finally be able to reach that goal. There is a 3K at the end of the month that I would like to run. I have been meeting with a personal trainer for the past month. It has been fun, but with the holidays I was not being real serious. Plus, my eating has been out of control again. I tried to "get back on the wagon" today, but ended up snacking most of the day. Even after surgery this is hard. I still have 100lbs to go and I feel like I will never get there. I am supposed to have my next surgery at the end of February, but I am afraid I will have to postpone the surgery because I have not been able to save enough money.
March 11, 2007
Well, I had to postpone the surgery just as I feared. I have been running more, but my weight continues to stay around 260. I am frustrated but I know it is because of my eating issues. I am trying to be patient with myself and not beat myself up too much. It does not help that I went to a singles activity tonight and a 3-year-old pointed out to the room that I was "big and fat." I know she was 3 and doesn't get it, but it hurt nonetheless. I wanted to cry on the way home, but I spent time praying and reminding myself to look at what I do have and not what I am missing. It helped. I wish I was at goal, I wish all the surgeries were over, but I don't want to spend my life wishing my life away. Have you seen that Adam Sandler movie, "Click"? In the movie his character does just that, wishes his life away so that he misses the bad and frustrating but also the good and rewarding parts. This life should be celebrated in the process of living and not just at the end product. So I push forward and accept that I have been so blessed to be where I am today and blessed with the potentials of the future.
P.S, my last 5K was completed in 49.35---Yeah!!!!! Finally uinder 50 minutes. The end of April will mark a year that I have been doing 5k's. At the end of April I will have the arm surgery and my abodomen finally closed.
February 9, 2008
Still no surgery. I did go see my surgeon last week and we have tentatively scheduled surgery for closing the hole in my stomach and deflating my upper arms on April 24th. I still have to wait until the insurance approves the surgery for my stomach. The doctor did indicate he wants to do the complete admonialplasty in which he will decrease the excess skin in the torso area by removing a triangle portion of skin from the breast line to the waste. I am glad he has agreed to do this as my torso continues to be very fleshy and I still do not have a very feminine line. However, my back is outrageously fat and lumpy, so I think after the surgery I will be even more disproportionate. My chest is also very saggy with huge slabs of skin hanging on the sides of my chest. I feel like a mutant. AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Is this ever going to be over. I am tired of this struggle to get my body to be somewhat normal in proportion and symmetry. I also continue to struggle with the psychological ramifications of the process of becoming physically smaller. I find myself being fearful for no apparent reason. Further, I am also at times depressed and continue to struggle with being consistently motivated. I look at other people’s before and after pictures and I am envious because they are looking good and close or at goal weight. I am lumpy and bumpy and still 140lbs heavier than I should be. There are people trying to get the surgery who are my size and weight post surgery. I sometimes wish I could go in and have the gastric bypass surgery again so maybe I could loss this last 100lbs that I want to loss.
April 13, 2008
Yesterday was my 3 year anniversary. I did not even realize it until I got an email from this site congratulating me. Wow, it has been an amazing 3 years. I am so happy I was able to get the surgery, it has saved my life. I continue to have food and weight issues, but I feel so much better than I did in March 2005, before surgery. I have gained some weight recently. I am scheduled for the next skin removal surgery on the April 24th. I am scheduled for a revision of my abdomen surgery since I had the complications and the doctor put in the large skin graft in July 2006. At the same time he will do my upper arms. I am going to talk with him this Friday and see if it might be better for me to have the back part of the belt surgery completed first before he tackles my stomach again. I find I have had a hard time expressing to my surgeon what drapes of skin I am the most concerned about so I took some pictures of my body and drew on them to show the surgeon what I have been hoping he can do. I feel like I am more prepared to talk with him now. It was kind of funny because taking the pictures made it easier for me to see my body from different angles and see it more objectively. I want my stomach, back, arms, thighs, bust, and neck worked on, but there is no way I can afford all of that. The bad thing is the surgery is so expensive. I got some financing, but I worry about going into debt for this. I was talking with my congregational leader at church (branch president) about my concerns and he pointed out people go into more debt for a car and that is something you have for 10 years so he did not see a problem with me “investing in myself.” When he put it that way it made a lot of sense.
I am having a lot of mixed feelings about the surgery. I am worried about the complications I had before and hope and pray I do not have any this time. My surgeon assures me I am not more at risk for complications just because I had them previously as the complication I had was like a freak accident. I was supposed to lose some weight before surgery and I had 6 weeks to do so. All I did was gain weight and stop exercising altogether. I am so bad about sabotaging myself. Even though I am nervous about the surgery, I feel like I need to move forward as I have been putting this off for so long. I don’t want to stagnate any longer; it is time to move on. I feel like all this extra skin is holding me back.
My social life is about the same. Still no boyfriend though I did go on a few date last year with a cute (and 11-year younger) man I met at church. It was so nice to be treated well—he opened doors for me, paid for activities, and asked me to do things with him instead of me always asking him. When I told him about my surgery and what I had experienced he was very complimentary. Unfortunately he moved away after being in my area for several months, but it was good practice. I still hope I will find the man who will compliment my life and who I can build a future with. In the mean time I am just trying to have fun and not worry too much about it.
I never ran a 5K and have not run in a while, but I did run a mile in January 2006 and passed a physical abilities test at the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center in September 2007. I never would have been able to do those things before surgery. I am ever hopeful once my schedule clears up (I have been teaching early morning seminary) I will be able to go back to running and train for some type of race. I may never be a marathoner, but I can continue to work on being healthier. I think I will also see a weight loss when I am able to start exercising more regularly.
As I finish up this entry, I am feeling emotional. I have tears in my eyes when I think back over the last 3 years of my life, well really 4 years as I worked so long to even get approval for surgery. I truly have been blessed in so many ways. I am especially grateful to my friends who have supported me as I have under gone all of these changes. I know I have not always been easy to be with and at times I can be a bit irrational when my emotions take over, but I could never have made it through this life changing experience without them—thank you especially Julia, Brent, Angel, Elaine, Beau, Jodie, Lin, Tracy, Lorna, Teresa, Mae, Donna and the West Memphis Branch—you are my family and I love you guys.
May 4, 2008
I have been meaning to email for a couple of days, but I have been busy taking naps, reading books, and watching copious amounts of TV. This convalescing is hard work :-) I am doing really well, no complications thus far. Tomorrow (Monday) I am going to the doctor and he will take out the 2 drains and hopefully the staples. We did complete the arm liposuction, which has left crazy bruises on the bottom part of my upper arm. I talked the doctor into doing what is called a lateral torso plasty. Basically, I had huge rolls of skin on the sides of my back and he made an incision across my shoulder blade, under my arm, and half way under my breast and pulled all the skin up, cutting off the excess at the top. He told me he removed about 4lbs of skin on each side. I have a 20 inch staple line on each side. He definitely got rid of all the rolls of skin, except the one on the bottom. He was going to go around the bottom of my back and remove that roll, but he did not follow through with that plan. He said afterward he will do the bottom of my back during the next surgery. I was a bit irritated because that means I will have to pay more to get that taken care of when he could have done it this time and it was included in the cost. I'm sure the way he did the surgery was safer though, so I should stop complaining. I guess the thing that has me bummed is that I only have a small amount of money from a personal loan and I had earmarked all of that money for a series of procedures that would have taken care of all the issues I have with my trunk and arms. Since we have to do my back again, I won't be able to do something else. I am happy with the surgery and that I am healing well, I just need to shift my timeline a little. Sometimes mental shifts are hard for me when I get my heart set on a plan, so this is just another opportunity to practice that skill.
April 13, 2009
Wow, it has been 4 years!!!!! This has been a wild and wonderful ride. Looking back, I would definitely do it all over again. While I am still obese, I am soooooooooo much healthier then I was. I can live in a house with stairs, I can run for short distances, I can buy clothing at Wal-Mart (I know that is not very posh but it still excited me since I couldn't before), I fit behind the steering wheel of my car without my stomach getting in the way, and I can almost cross my legs when I sit down. I no longer snor, I don't suffer from diabetes, and I can bend over easily and pick up things I dropped. I feel like having bariatric surgery and then plastic surgery after has been the kindest think I have ever done for myself. Since I have not updated my profile in a while, I should let you know I did finaly have the back part of the belt removed and the excess skin under my arms removed. The funny thing is when he took the roll of skin from the lower part of my back I suddenly has a butt, it was hiding all along--go figure. My arms are ok but they are still fat and there are long scars which are still bright. I am actually pretty self-conscience about my arms and am in constant persuit of 3/4 length sleeves. In fact, I just moved to Arizona and have not gone swimming at the complex pool because I have a complex about the scars on my arms (pun obviously intended). So, to remedy that problem, I just purchased a home with a pool. I continue to need a revision on my adominal plasty so the surgeon can remove the large skin graft that is cover the hole in my abdomen. I keep fighting with insurance to get them to pay for it since it was the result of a complication of surgery. I think I may have a shot this year after talking to my insurance agent since the graft is breaking down a little and causing pain. It drives me nuts that insirance will make a person wait until they are in pain or seriously ill before they will take action--nothing preventative or proactive which seems rediculous!!!!! But getting back to this annivversary, I have truely blessed and I will always be greatful for the opportunity I have the surgery and feel better all the way around (hey, that could be a pun too).