dolce311

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As a child I was always overweight. I developed bad eating habits early on and used junk food to solve my problems. At the age of 16 I began to blame my parents for not teaching me healthier habits. To me, It was all on them. I felt as though they let me eat the way that I did out of love, and now it was backfiring on me. After years of placing the blame, I confided in a close cousin of mine who saw how unhappy I was. The advice she gave me was not what I wanted to hear, but what I NEEDED to hear. She asked me a simple question. “At what point does your weight become your responsibility?” At first I felt hurt by this question, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that she was right! In the back of my mind I knew I needed to do something about my unhappiness and take responsibility for myself and my actions., yet I still ate.

By age 18 eating became a full blown addiction for me. Eating between 4,000 and 7,000 calories a day without even blinking. I made myself believe that what I was putting in my body was not contributing to my weight gain.

Finally I reached 344 lbs! I was in a public bathroom one day. While I was washing my hands a little girl came in with her mother. She looked at me and asked me “are you having a baby” me and her mother looked at each other in horror, I’m sure she was embarrassed by her daughter comment. Then she apologized before quickly leaving. I went home that day and cried for hours. Enough was enough.

After thinking for a good long time I decided to go through the process of having gastric bypass. My parents backed me up on my decision and helped me every step of the way. I knew that this was going to be a very long process, but I knew I had to do this. First you go to educational meetings were doctors teach you about the different procedures, and tell you horror stories about others who don‘t follow the rules. Next comes your consult appointment (which for me was another 2 months out). Next you are giving a complete physical, put on a diet, and given numerous doctor/specialist appointments for testing.

After about 6 months I finally had a surgery date! My liver specialist was the last of the doctors I had to visit for pre-op testing. Test results showed that I had a mass on my liver about the size of a baseball. I was horrified and scared, not knowing what it could be. My weight loss surgeon was the kind of man that was very by the book. He refused to open me up unless he knew exactly what the mass was. This ment that a biopsy had to be performed. I was crushed to find out on that Wednesday that I would not be having my procedure on Friday. While it hurt me, I knew that my doctors were just trying to make sure I was healthy & that the surgery would be safe for me. Luckily when the results came back from the biopsy the mass on my liver was not cancerous! What a relief!!!

After a very hard struggle to loose the required 10% of my body weight, I was given a new surgery date. This time it was going to happen, and that scared me.

I woke up from the 6 hour procedure groggy, and in a little pain but extremely happy that I had made it, knowing that the toughest part was over. I had no complications with surgery, and I was going to be ok.

Today I am down over 100 lbs from that 344! Sure I still have my bad days when I crave a Big Mac more than any food in the world, but I think about the person I want to be. In time the craving subsides. Each time gets a little easier, and each time that I resist a craving I feel stronger. This experience has changed my life more than you can imagine. No more awkward stares in public, more energy than ever, and seeing my personality come out of it’s shell. I’m happier, healthier, and finally learning at 21 years of age to love myself.