DownIgo
My name is Alice and I just turned 35 years old. I have been happily married for 10 years (together for 15) and we have 2 beautiful children. My son, Evan is almost 10 and my daughter, Emma is almost a year old. My children and husband are absolutely my world. My daughter lights my entire life up with her smile & personality. She is my tweetygirl! My son is the first wonderful thing that happened to me. I didn't really know what true love was until I had him. It's a different kind of love then you have for your spouse. It is unexplainable. My heart is over-filled with joy, love and happiness from having them in my life. We live in the country of Fleetwood, Pennsylvania. I have been a nurse for 13 years and work part-time every weekend 11pm to 7am so I can be home with my daughter all week. I looked into WLS about 2 years ago and thought there is no way in hell I could have something like that done. Well, 2 years later and still fat, I decided I needed to investigate further. So here I am.
Well, I guess you could say that my genes probably have something to do with me being fat. My mom is the same height as I am 5' 2" and weighs about 255. I am currently at 235. My entire life has been dieting, losing and gaining. I have never not had to worry about my weight. I was thin up until 7th grade and hit puberty and I got very plump. I graduated high school weighing 210 and the month after graduating went on a diet and lost 45 lbs. I looked and felt good. I was wearing a 14/16 which wasn't small but acceptable. I dated a guy right out of high school that I heard through the grape vine said that if I lost 50 lbs. he'd marry me. Yeah right! And why would I want to be with him anyway. Well, its good things didn't work out with us because we wouldn't have lasted with me gaining weight. I would have had a really miserable life. I ended up meeting my husband a week after my 20th birthday and we have been together ever since. I was about 180 when we met and I got to my lowest I have ever been in my life at 158......that lasted for about 2 minutes and then I consistently gained. I think its sad that almost every heavy person can tell you what their weight was in every photo or at every event or special occasion. I bet thin people don't think like that.
So now that you know a little about me and my background, this is where I am at now. I had my initial appt. with Dr. Bonnani's nurse, Paula on 6/23/05. She gave me scripts for lab work, stool sample and EKG. I got all of my lab work completed on July 2, 2005. My next appt. is on 7/5/05 with Paula for a pre-orientation class with 10 other people. I have no idea what to expect with that. I basically have all of my appts. scheduled and will have them completed by the time I see the doctor on August 2, 2005. I don't know how fast things will go once I see the doctor since I am a self-pay, we don't have to wait for insurance approval.
Well, I had my consult with Dr. Bonanni on August 2nd. Only really got to talk to him for about 10 minutes but he seems very nice and genuine. I got a surgery date as well. August 31, 2005 will be the beginning of a long journey. I am really nervous, yet excited at the same time. I am so tired of being fat. I want my old energy back. My husband is definitely getting more supportive as time gets closer to the date. He has taken vacation to be home with the kids while I am in the hospital as well as several days after words to help with the kids while I am at home healing. I have been taking my MVI, slow fe iron, B12 and I have eliminated all diet sodas and caffeine from my diet. I have been drinking nothing but diet decaffinated icy tea. Totally love the stuff. I have purchased a smoothie bar from QVC to help mix my protein drinks. I have to purchase some more protein. I only have 3 samples of some protein that I haven't tried yet. I have to start taking my calcium, I hate those big gigantic chewable things, its better then trying to swallow them I guess. Anyway, I have to go to a support meeting on August 11th and then I go for my pre-surgical nutrition class on August 16th. I will post later.
Well, I went to support group meeting on August 11th and met a couple of gals that offered to help me with anything at home if I needed it. This is why us fat women are the best, we have the biggest hearts. Anyway, I had my pre-op office appt. where we went over the paper work and I signed everything they needed. I also paid the doctors fee of $4,500.
Had my pre-admission testing on August 24th at 10:45 a.m. Everything went well, put $5,000 down for the hospital and paid the anesthesia dept. $900 for their fee. Everybody is paid now except the rest of the hospital fee which I won't know until after everything is done.
Had my EGD on August 25th at 9:00 a.m. So not what I expected. Much easier then what I thought. My niece, Katie was my designated driver and was a great support for me. She is very supportive of me having the procedure. She is leaving for college on Saturday August 27th to IUP which is about 4-5 hours away. She is going to be a Registered Dietician. Yeah for her!!
Today is the first day of my liquid diet that I have to do for 4 days before my surgery. I can't believe I am actually doing this. I don't think it has actually sunk in completely. I am terrified when I think about the big picture. I had a slim fast this morning for breakfast and a sugar free jello for snack. I think I will be living off the slim fast drinks for the next 4 days. I am hoping I lost about 7 lbs. I weighed in on my scale this morning at 237.6. I am looking to be at 230 for surgery day. I think with all this liquid diet stuff I might do it. That will be a little help. I am setting 3 weight goals.
First to reach 170
Second to reach 150
Third to get to 130
Anything below 130 and I will be estatic!!! I don't want to get my hopes up to high. I still feel as though this surgery won't work. I guess after failing at so many diets in your lifetime it is hard to believe there is something that does work. We'll see. Next time I post I will be on the other side. Send me your prayers!!
Well, its the morning of surgery I weighed 231, so I lost 6.6 lbs. on the liquid diet. Nice start. Anyway, my in-laws happen to be on vacation this week and offered to come up and watch my daughter who is 1 and get my son off to school on the bus, he is 10 and in 4th grade. My son, Evan, doesn't know really what is going on and I haven't told him why I am having surgery. He just knows I am having surgery. He will find out in years to come. My daughter will never know me as fat which is kind of weird since I have spent my entire adult life around 225. Anyway, I am totally petrified and excited at the same time. I think my husband is pretty sccared as well. I have done alot of crying thinking about this surgery and reading everyone's profiles. Surgery is at 10:00 this morning and I have to be there at 8:00 a.m. Off we go.
OH MY GOD!! I had 2 c-sections and a cholecystectomy (gall bladder removed via lap) and this surgery by far was the worst!! Totally not what I expected. Maybe if I didn't have the JP drain in on my right side, things might have been a little better. They kept that in for a week. I was released from the hospital on 9/2/05 (friday) and had to go back in the hospital early morning 9/7/05. My husband called the ambulance, I had severe pouch pain every time I breathed in and I was so dehydrated. I came 2 seconds away from passing out. I woke my husband at 12:30 a.m. weds. and said, wake up, I'm gonna pass out. I was whiter then a sheet of paper. Kids were in bed sleeping so I told my husband to call the surgeon and he did the talking. My mouth was so dry from being dehydrated, I could barely talk. Anyway, ambulance ride sucked. I guess being a nurse doesn't help but they stuck me 3 times and still couldn't get an IV started. They blew my arm up so tight from the automatic blood pressure machine I wanted to scream. Anyway, Dr. Beetle was on-call and he was a gentleman. He arrived the same time I did and was present during all the tests they did on me. He stayed in the room to see the results himself. I couldn't be happier with him. They did a CXR, CT scan (r/o pulmonary embolism) barium swallow to check for leaks (none) and they admitted me right away. I was discharged that friday 9/9/05. Once the drain was removed in the hospital, things slowly got better. I have cried so much in the month following my surgery. The fact that you mourn food and your body is still re-couperating from major surgery and your mind just wants to get back to normal again. Once I started soft food, things turned around, my pain finally went away after 5 weeks. All my pain was in the area where my drain was. I was also finally able to chew something. That is a huge deal people!!
From the 237 I weighed 4 days before surgery, I have lost 25 lbs. in a month.
I am in my 2nd. week of soft food and am loving it!! I have had scrambled eggs with cheese, bacon, wheat toast, mayo, lunch meats, chicken noodle soup, lasagna, wend's chili, baked potato's, and lots of cheese and crackers. I can't wait to be on unrestricted diet in 2 more weeks. I can't wait to have a chicken caesar salad or chef's salad. I was on a plateau for 2 weeks and the scale wouldn't budge.
Today is October 13, 2005 and I will be going to my first support meeting since having surgery on August 31, 2005. I can't wait to see and talk to people. I weighed in today at 207.2. I am so excited to see under 200 again. It has been almost 5 years since I weighed under 200. The lowest I got as an adult is 170 and was wearing a size 16. It will be so weird to be able to shop for clothes anywhere. I have shopped in plus size clothes my entire life!
Well, it has been a long time. I have to say that after the initial 5 weeks, it hasn't gotten so much easier. Today it is December 27, 2005 and I weigh 177 as of this morning. I have lost a total of 60 lbs. since starting this journey. It has been almost 4 months since surgery. I feel so much better about myself. I am now wearing a size 16 jeans and an XL top. I will be going to get my 6 month lab work done at the end of January for my appt. in the beginning of March 2006. I am very anxious to see what my labs are. I take my vitamins every day and am starting to get used to the routine. I am in the process of trying to post pictures. Hopefully I will get my before pictures posted today.
