Liz H.

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i never post on here anymore. i WILL post pictures tho! but dont expect any blogs in the near future:)

im working on typing up my hospital experience! it will take me a bit cause its gonna be long! BUT

I am currently 1 week post op. I have lost 13 lbs so far! My current weight is 300. Im losing about 2lbs a day. im healing well and feeling fairly well. My incisions are healing beautifully and i am having minimal stomach pains. I am having weird belly feelings. Lots of gurgling and just.. a weird feeling.  I am having some issues with depression over food. Sadly, im already sick of what I have to eat, and its only been a week. Im going through my mourning phase and it is rough. I have already said many times that i regret doing this because i currently cant eat what i want.. but im not giving up! i havent cheated once!

Keep checking back for the hospital experience!

I had my pre-op this morning and I was luckily one of the first of the day. Last time i went into the office, I have to wait 2 HOURS. Anyways. I weighed in 1 pound more than last time, and I expected it, because of course I ate some things that I knew I could probably never eat again. I was actually pretty nervous.. my mind went blank a couple of times. My surgeons NP came in and talked to me first. She has been a BIG help with everything. I always look forward to seeing her because she always praises me and tells me how great im doing, etc. Always a good ego boost lol. She gave me a spirometer and taught me how to use it. It was a big strange at first but it's kinda like a game haha. You have to take a deep breathe through a tube and keep a little floaty thing between 2 arrows for 6 seconds. It kinda looks like a bong. I hate when people look at my stomach, and she had to and it was really akward. It made me feel disgusting.
    So once she was done, Dr. Lucktong came in and let me as ANY questions. Again, my mind went blank and I just was like "uh..uh..uh". He brought up my surgery date and mentioned he was not comfortable with me having it at that time because he would be out of town the following week. So he made us come out to the check out counter and he changed my date!! It is now

JULY 30th!

YAY!!

These past couple weeks have been personally emotional. Ive had every emotion under the sun. Heres a few things that have been stuck in my mind.

- Alex, as many of you know, is everything to me. I want him there every second of my life. I dont want him to miss out on anything I go through. So the thing is, I want Alex to stay with me at the hospital day and night. I want him to help me walk, hold my hand, help me in and out of the bed, talk to me, hug me, kiss me.. and he can't. Due to his demanding work/school schedule(which i completely understand and am very proud of him for everything he has done), he will not be able to be with me in the hospital. I believe he will be there on my surgery day, but he won't be able to make it on my recovery days in the hospital. I want him to be the last person i see when im wheeled away and the first person i see when i come to. If that doesn't happen, I will cry, without a doubt. How scary is it knowing the when youre being wheeled away to the operating room that this could be the last time you see this person? I really hope everything works out in that area. I just need him there. Im not sure he knows exactly how much I need him there to support me. Sure, my mom is awesome and is supportive, but I need him there. I need him there.


- Im sure many of you know that I can be extremely impatient. Im worried that I will get very discouraged if I dont lose the weight I am expecting I am going to lose. I know very well that it will not happen over night. I know that it will gradually come off. But you got to see it through my eyes (and im sure some of you know this too)..I have been in this body for 19 years. Not ONCE have I known what its like to have a "normal" body. I am sick and tired of being in this prison. So I want out of it as quickly as possible. But I think I will do better than I am expecting. Keep your fingers crossed.


- Haha this is going to sound pretty dumb. Within the past couple years, I have changed a lot. I have become a bit of a recluse and I dont like a lot of attention. Like for example, when someone calls to wish me happy birthday or calls to see how im doing if im sick, I dont really like that. I feel a bit uncomfortable and wonder why they even bother with me(maybe its due to my really bad self esteem haha). I mean, its nice to see that people care about me and really want to see how Im doing, but that kind of attention kind of irks me. Im a bit worried about being in the hospital and having people come see me. Im just like "well im probably going to be completely out of it, not wanting to talk, sleeping, or all of the above". I would rather see people when I am a few weeks out and healed..




So Ive only got 2 WEEKS left before my insides are scrambled. My pre-op appointment is tomorrow and for some reason Im alittle worried.

Besides all this mumbojumbo, my life is really going well. My car is amazing, my boyfriend is absolutely fantastic, Im getting a new room to come home to after surgery(its going to be AMAZING. I will post pictures!), and Im having this surgery.

Until tomorrow!
Liz

I didnt post this when it happened, but i got my surgery date!! It will be August 1st!! im extremely excited but also scared.. i think just the realization that im getting it and by this time next year i will look like a normal person is hitting me. i just hope everything goes well!!

Ok soooo Im waiting for the surgeons office to call me with a date!!! its getting nerve racking!! Im hoping she will call today.. but i have a strong feeling she won't..