eiramanad
The time has come, the walrus said...
Jan 07, 2015
Well, this is the beginning of a new life ... I hope.
I am 28 years old and have been overweight my entire life. I have always been big and faced facts that it was just the hand I was dealt. I am really tall (5'10") so I guess I wear it well, but not that well. I have never really spoken to anyone about weight, but it bothers me - really - to my core. I know people who have had weight-loss surgery done and everyone I know is so "judgey" about it. Everyone thinks it is the easy way out, but it sure doesn’t appear that way to me. It is a tool and well, if this tool can help me - I AM GOING TO USE IT. I decided I am not going to tell anyone. Whatever - it is a lie, but I feel no need to defend myself or my choices. I work with the most irrational and gossip-crazed group of middle-aged women you could ever come in contact with. I don't share anything personal with these people so I don't think this is any different. I am just going to take some vacation time at work and pray for a great recovery. As for my family and friends – I told my sister and my boyfriend that I am thinking about it and both told me to go for it if it is something I really want and that they will help me. My BFF knows, but she lives in Florida and I am all the way in NJ. Other than that, I am just going to run with a story that my nutritionist and doctor have me on a strict diet. Nobody eats with me and I have my own office so I think I will be fine.
I have tried to lose weight on and off for quite a few years and it wasn't until two months ago that I decided I really needed to do something about this. It has gotten crazy. I am at my highest weight ever at 285 pounds and I am OVER this! I am sick of being too tired and not having energy to go for walks with my dogs, like they deserve. I want to stop feeling like I am going to die when I drag groceries up two flights of stairs to my apartment. I want to wear cute clothes. I want to stop telling people I hate pools and the beach and shorts and everything involving the summer. I want to just be "normal."
My job recently switched insurance companies and I found out that bariatric surgery is covered!! And not only that - its covered 100% !! It automatically hit me that this is absolutely a sign! I need this - and not just for me, but for my sister who is one of my BFFs & the only immediate family I speak to, and my adorable boyfriend who loves me even if I am as big as a house, and our dogs who will love me even when I stop giving them food from my plate, and my best friend who just GETS IT (and by IT I mean everything ever ! ) and really, this is for everyone else that I love.
I get embarrassed going to doctors and I was so over hearing "you need to lose weight" that i just cut them out of my life for the past ten years. Well, I took the plunge and found a doctor online and made an appointment. I went yesterday and ya know, it went really really well. I liked this woman. I had never met her before and nobody told me to go to her, but it all worked out. We laughed about things and she told me I was pretty healthy for someone who gave up doctors for the past decade, but then it came ... "YOU NEED TO DIET." For the first time in my life, I was okay hearing this. I went there to be told this. To get input and be reassured that looking into surgery was a good idea. I explained to the doctor that I had been thinking about it and her face lit up and she brought me to her office. She talked to me about an office that is only 10 minutes away and how they have been rated the best and the awards they have been given. This woman just said all of the right things to me! I left there feeling really good! She gave me a bunch of info and I looked up a few of the doctors and they REALLY are THAT good. I sent them an email this morning requesting some more info on appointments and their office hours - so I am just waiting to hear back from them. I scheduled a spot for myself at a seminar they are having next week. I can’t even remember the last time I didn’t put something off - I am really excited to get the ball rolling.
