Feeling Bad

Aug 31, 2009

So this morning I woke up having a pitty party for myself. I looked in the mirror and I saw what I looked like. I HATE it. I hate everything about being obese. I hate the fact that (everyone has it - I'm sure) if I don't lift (yes, lift) my belly then it gets red, raw, and smelly - bad thing is others smell it before I do. There's so much that needs to be done in my house and I WANT to do but don't have the energy to do. I also have so much that I want to do with my kids inside and out. I want to cut out Ghosts and Bats from paper and hang it on my window shades so that way when the lights are dimmed it will look really cool. Once again all I want to do is sleep.

It's another 12 weeks until I have surgery so I'm going to start slowly working on things. Starting tomorrow (I work too late on Mondays). I'm starting with the 'toy room' and turning it into a 'game/toy' room. Then I'm going to fix up my bathroom, clean my hallway walls, clean and organize my livingroom and get ALL toys out of that room, Clean and organize my kitchen, Laundry room, masterbed room and bath.

I want to have EVERYTHING done by oct 1st. I want to have Christmas decorations out and up at the begining or mid of November since I will be going in for surgery on the 2nd of December. This way on 'black' Friday all I have to do is Shop, put up tree, wrap gifts, and relax.

Starting today I'm taking my life back and my health back. I let it go due to so many things in my past and I can list it all but it's time to let that stuff go. Time to 'move on' and the reason why that is in quote marks is because one can NEVER fully 'move on' after the death of a child but they can fully move on after leaving an abusive relationship.

Since I left the abusive relationship with my ex there is no reason for me to continue it on myself!

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