EmilyLV1595
Well....I guess my story starts as a child. I was always just a little bit bigger than my friends, but I wouldn't totally say I was chubby or fat....just never "skinny." Looking back now, I attribute my poor eating habits to my parents divorce when I was 5, and subsequent absentee father. I think I was an emotional eater, even back then! Luckily, once puberty hit, I shot up to 5'7'' and was average weight throughout most of high school...so I enjoyed lots of boyfriends, activities, and was very social. I do remember hardly ever eating in high school. I would never eat breakfast, I would have a diet soda for lunch, and then would have field hockey or cheerleading practice, and dinner when I would come home. I think eventually I got sick of starving, so right around the age of 18 (with my driver's license) I began to eat. With a car, I was able to drive, and thus had access to many fast food facilities...the weight began creeping on.
By college, my freshman fifteen was more like freshman 50. I was stressed and very hard myself with my studying, and I ate to ease the stress. I soon found myself eating not only on bad/stressful days...but even on good days....got an A on the midterm? Let's go to McDonald's!....
Now at age 26, I am morbidly obese. It has severely affected my lifestyle. I do not feel myself. I do not enjoy the things I want to enjoy simply because my confidence level is so low, and I am constantly worried about what I look like....not to mention a lot of activities are physically taxing on my body. I find myself putting up with a lot of bullsh*t from men....from jerks to guys who show no more interest in me then a sexual encounter....and frankly, I'm sick of it. I feel people see right through me at this weight, as if I am not a person. I long to find a man who will cherish me and respect me, and I feel once I build my confidence up, he will come along... Most of all, I would like to start a family someday, and I know at the weight I am now, that is nearly impossible.
As of today, October 17, 2007, I have completed 4/6 months of supervised diet, psych consult, and nutrition consult. I am hoping to have my surgery in early January....I am looking forward to improving myself!
