Esanchez123

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It's been a while since I have updated anything....  
So, Ive come a long way...I've reached my Goal weight, I am 175 now.  I feel incredible, I constantly set new goals and feelings for myself.  I am trying my best to maintain, which is hard because I am a muncher.  (=Every day I am just thankful to be alive (=... To have another chance at life and I know this was all God!
Till later!

 As  distructive as it was, I sometimes miss the relationship I had with food.  i know its rough.  Everyday is still very much an adjustment.  My life is changing and when I cannot drink soda, or have red meat, that is when I miss the relationship even more.  

i HAVE  COLLAR BONES!!! OMG I HAVE COLLAR BONES!!!
this is incredible

Everyday is a whole new beginning.  I wake up every morning to live, to truly live my life! To THE FULLEST!  This was a life change, the life change i needed to become a better me!  everyday i look in the mirror and Im finding someone who I have never seen before, and who ever this new amazing person is.... I LOVE HER!  She's confident, she is worldly and loves God more than anything but most of all.... She's happy.... My clothes do not fit me lol but its the greatest feeling.  Looking at myself loosing weight, i was so obsessed with sagging skin that i was not enjoying the experience of my weight loss!  So I decided to work out as best as I can and finally enjoy the experience!! Just a few things to express... btw, im 45 lbs down :)
 

OMG 247... im even under 250... This is the best choice I have ever made for myself.  I have gone through so many emotions in one month this has been a tremendous roller coaster ride.  I am so greatful to God for allowing me to take a great step in my future.  I took a step to life instead of death.  I am looking a head and there is no turning back, I pray God will continue to give me the strength to never go back to the individual i once was because she was so unhealthy.  I welcome this new amazing experience :)....

So, its been almost three weeks and i am loving this.  Don't get me wrong, its incredibly difficult.  Right now I am eatting soft pureed foods.  There are days where i want to scream and then reality sinks in and i realize I did this to better myself and i just need to be patient and I'll be okay.  At first eatting was difficult because I felt everything going down in my stomach.  Now it's getting a little better.  One difficulty is the dry mouth, but hey i know it'll pass soon.  I am so thankful to God, for being by my side for every part of this.  He gets me through everyday, even when i feel i will not. 
Just somethings to Jot down
ennovy

ok so i did it, this is incredibly painful... omg! they keep telling me the pain is normal and i will feel this way for a little while... I cant wait till all the pain is over ughhh!!!

Wow, tomorrow is my day...
Its been a long time coming and its finally here.  A moment where its over all of the struggles for a new beginning.  A new start, im feeling re-born.  I am becoming a new me.  Its nerve wrecking, its scary and its amazing.  I am completly trusting in God and knowing and understanding that this is in his hands and this is what he wants for me.  So good bye to my past, good bye to the sadness and i am welcoming a new beginning, a new change and a new blessing in my life.  Heres to a healthier life style, heres to blessings, heres to new beginnings.

33 days... UGH...
I can't wait! 
Im doing this i really really am.  And its just myself and God doing this!
Im trying to be brave. I am trying to be strong and I am trying to level my excitement.  I want to jump for joy. Everyday is a day closer to sitting on THE LOSERS BENCH!  whoo whoo I'm gonna be a LOSER SOON!  being a looser never sounded better lol. 
I am excited, just some thoughts!
nover wover

I set the date, It is April 27, 2009... The day my whole life will change.  God is working miracles here and I am forever greatful to him... I love God and I know my life is changing because of him.  Lord, you are too amazing!