FindingRab
I never thought I would be here. I have struggled with my weight most of my adult life. It was only after having my 3 children did my weight get really out of control. Before that I would gain 40 or so pounds and then diet or work out and it would come off. After my babies I found myself over 100lbs overweight and unable to take it off no matter what I tried. It has been a very difficult time as I am so happy with my new family while at the same time so disapointed, discouraged, disgusted with myself and my inability to be healthy for myself and my family.
Looking back at my life I never had a weight problem growing up. My mother was always saying how fat she was ( she wasn't ). Perhaps it was all this talk about weight and loosing it, but I remember thinking I was too large. When I was 16 my family decided to all go on a diet and we each picked a reward we would get. None of us were really overweight, maybe 20 lbs to loose. I remember I was 5' 7" and 140lbs. I developed anorexia nervosa and dropped to 115 lbs. This is quite thin for me and could only be maintained by not eating at all! The funny thing is everybody was constantly telling me how great I looked, my family, friends and boys. I was so angry, didn't they realize I was sick?! I could not maintain that weight and still be active in sports. I gained about 20 lbs back and stayed there into my early 20's. I then started a realtionship and began taking birth control pills. I don't know if the pills contributed or I just let go of the control I placed on my eating but I gradually gained until I was 210 lbs. My boyfriend of 7 years then left me. I began jogging and went down to 160 lbs and I felt pretty good. My lifestyle changed when I was 30 and moved to Yellowknife. Between shift work, a new relationship and extreme cold I stopped jogging and my weight slowly climbed again. I lost it this time with the low carb thing, now at 170 lbs. My lifestyle really changed then. I got married and we got pregnant....3 children in 4 years! I became so consumed with caring for my family that I stopped caring for myself....and here I am....285lbs.
My doctor suggested weight loss surgery. It was a wake up call for me. I honestly didn't think I was candidate, I was in denial about my condition. I thought it over for about a year during which time I made an honest effort to loose the weight. I went to the doctor on April 19, 2012 and asked to be referred for surgery. I feel hope for the first time in a long time.