A New Beginning

Dec 22, 2013

I've been considering surgery for almost 5 years now. I've talked to 2 surgeons so far. But I'm making the phone call tomorrow - the final "intro" call.  I'm leaning towards one. It's taken me so long to decide because I'm not going to lie - I'm petrified of another surgery. I've had several and they've all been very (upsetting, traumatic, painful, difficult ?- fill in the blank with any 2). 

But I'm starting to face facts. I've gained over 200 lbs in the last 10 years. I've yo yo dieted since I was a kid. I've been overweight since I was 2 years old. I'm making the call tomorrow to schedule yet another introduction seminar (4th in as many years). I want to though now from another perspective. I have PCOS and had a miscarriage last year. Also I face being in a wheelchair if I don't get help now - I have spinal fusion for scoliosis, and extreme lorodosis from obesity. It's not a choice but a necessity. 

I don't want to be in a wheelchair, I want kids, and I want to be as healthy as possible. To look at me you might not think that, but I actually go to the doctor all the time. I can't say I watch what I eat, I am addicted to food and emotional binge overeating (which is an addiction like any other). But other than that I try to exercise as much as I can which isn't much as I'm in excruciating pain anytime I do with my ankles and back (I've had surgeries on both). People don't understand it's as much of an addiction as drugs, alcohol, or smoking. I'm not sure why they think it's all about willpower - I mean it is, of course like any other addiction, but there are chemical responses in the brain that mimic the reaction of say crack cocaine when you eat something high in calories. I mean back in the pre historic days it was beneficial to eat as much as you can when you can - who knows when the next wooly mammoth or saber tooth tiger would come around right? Not so much today in our society. 

I'm looking into which surgery to choose, basically I'm debating between RNY and possibly something else. I liked what I heard about RNY but really I'd rather go with that which brings the most results. I also live with my fiance who works 2 jobs and I'm new to the area - I don't have many contacts here so I'd be going through the surgery basically alone. That scares me a little but I do have good mental health supports professionally in the community. I guess that's why I'm here to try to connect with others that have gone through WLS. 

I'm making the phone call tomorrow - wish me luck. 

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