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Well since I put myself back on track I can honestly say that I feel better and I have dropped a few pounds.  I was hanging out around 197 and I'm down to 193.  I'll take that!!!  I have not been eating the slider foods and I have been drinking more Crystal Light and things like that.  I don't JUST drink coffee....that was a big problem.  Don't get me wrong, I still have plenty of coffee...I just keep myself hydrated with water now too.

So, I'll keep plugging on.....and I'll keep in touch with my blog.  It's good to feel "in control" again.  I also have my protein shakes...usually two per day.  I've found that Hershey makes a SUGAR FREE chocolate syrup...not reduced...but SUGAR FREE...and I put a little of that in my chocolate shake...can you say chocolate milk...eventhough I make my shakes with water it really does taste like chocolate milk.  My youngest asked me if he could taste it and he made an awful face and then told me that he thinks there is something wrong with my taste buds...LOL!!

I am a stess eater...I have always been a stress eater.  Now I am paying a small price for this and I have kicked myself in the butt to nip it!  I noticed that my pants were fitting differnt...as in snug in the bottie...and in the thighs.  So, I got on the scale and I've gained 10 pounds...yep, that's right.  How did I do this..I'll share.

Let me say that I know that if I continue donig these things I will gain back every single pound that I've lost with some extra to go along with them.  I don't want that to happen.  To be honest that scares me.  I don't want to be fat.  I want to be normal looking...

The following is what I've allowed to happen:

1.  I eat slider foods such as pretzels, chips, and crackers. 

2.  I graze on some of the sliders

3.  I taste while I'm cooking.  This can really add up to quiet a bit of food eaten at a time.

4.  I hardly ever eat "solid protein"....instead I'll have a soft food like tuna salad.

5.  I don't drink enough water.

6.  I drink too much coffee.  There have been days that I only have coffee to drink...this is BAD!!

7.  I am not taking my vitamins faithfully

8.  I skip meals and I don't have my protein shakes

9.  I tend not to spend $$ on the foods that I need especially now that the $$ is tight.

10.  I am able to eat almost anything and I hardly ever dump.  However the few times I have dumped have been very, very bad.  Including one time when I passed out.

11.  Since I've been skipping meals I've noticed I am having a hard time with my blood sugar levels.  I am starting to feel dizzy and I have shakes.  When I test my BSL is 60 and I've gotten down to 56.  I know this is not good.

12.  I don't move my big fat butt and exercise. 

So, I went out to the store.  I bought the foods that I needed.  I got out my vitamins and sat them on the microwave.  I know that I will have to battle the constipation especially since the vitamins contain iron but I have anemia....really bad anemia...I need the vitamins.  I worry about what damage I may have caused since I have not been faithful for several months.  Ive been doing better for the last four days and guess what???  I feel better.......   

My goal is to get rid of this 10 pound gain and then I'll go from there.  I'm still not wanting to be a model...LOL!!  I just want to look good for me...and I'm not sure what that's going to be...I am still a work in progress.

I'll be back for an update and I'm really going to try to not let as much time go by this time around.  Hopefully I'll be able to check in once a day with a menu and an update on my weekly weigh ins.

Off I go .....

Well, I'm still here.  I do miss this site and I've promised myself that I will TRY to get on here once per week. 

I am still hanging out around 190 give or take a pound.  I have extreme hate for the scale.  I have been working out so hard at the gym...and I love that.  I've been curcuit training and doing my cardio.  I've stepped up my routine and now I do everything everyday...it's killing me but I HATE the forty pounds that I still want to shed A LOT more then I hate the gym.  I've actaully have a fondness for the gym and I love the way that my clothes are getting too big...and how my muscles are really taking shape.  I need to add some new pics to my blog.  Maybe this Sunday when I'm dressed up for church....

I'm still confused as to how you can tone your muscles....and your clothes get bigger but that supid scale won't budge..and yes, I know...muscle weighs more then fat...LOL!!!!

See ya,

Chrissy

I am still here...hanging on..LOL!!

We moved the computer down to the familyroom and this is such a spot for the guys that I rarely come down here.  I find that I am enjoying my time upstairs...all by myself...LOL!!

This morning I am at 197.  I am very happy with my progress....I'm not even a year out and I've lost 153 pounds...so I am very happy.  My goal for Valentines Day is 190.  I don't know if I'll be able to do that or not.  Seems like I've hit yet another stall.  This is so typical for me.  I know, I know, I know...it's all part of the journey...but like I've said in the past I HATE THEM!!!!

Yesterday I went shopping.  It's SO NICE to be able to walk into the regular size sections of the stores and not the plus size.  I fit easity into most larges and sometimes I even have to get a medium.  I did end up getting a few new things from....yep, Salvation Army....my favorite store.  Some of the things are "petite" sizes...yep, a petite....LOL!!!  It's a very nice gray suit jacket...sharp looking, very tailored...I loved it and cringed when I ttied it on.  I figured it wouldn't fit..but it does...and it looks great.  I just love shopping now.

I am steadily getting bored with the foods that I eat.  I am in such a rut.  I need to stop and get something new and try some new recipes for myself.  I hate when I don't take the time for myself.

The family drama that I have spoken of on here occasionally has not stopped.  I am very willing to stop all of this...but unfortunately the person that I need to talk to is not ready.  I have talked to him over the phone one time...and I told him I'm ready to talk this over.  I am not angry...I am hurt by what he did.  He has not called back as of yet.  I personally don't think he will.  He's angry and probably hurt still....I understand.  We use to be close.  I loved him like a brother and I do miss him.  DH told me to just wait it out and see what happens.  I promised that I would not call him anymore. It's up to him now....

Off I go to type a science paper for my son.  I'm not doing a spell check and I'm not going to read over this...so if there are mistakes...get over it!! LOL!!

Blessings to all,

Chrissy

Well, I made a trip into Salvation Army.  I always get excited about going in there.  I know....it's odd but so true.  I bought a skirt that I needed.  Basic black....straight.....just below the knee with a small kick pleat.  It's nice and it's a size 14.  Now, anyone that knows me would be able to tell you that this was the first thought that went threw my head..."it has to be a big sz. 14...not a standard size 14".  I can wear and do wear a size 16 jeans...no elastic just the regular waist band and zipper...so maybe, just maybe this is a "real" 14????  I am also able to wear some medium tops. 

I guess the only thing that has me down lately are my boobies....no pun intended.  I would have never thought that I would miss having a fuller looking bust line but I do.  I miss filling out my clothes in that area.  When I'm in my birthday suit they look pitiful.....like duck bills just laying there...YUCK!!!  i try to make light of the situation and laugh about it.  I did know that this would happen and like I said I really didn't think it would bother me.  But, it does.  It's gotten to the point where I don't even like my DH to look at them.  So, I have to get a grip on this.  I want to go into VS and look around.  I need to be measured.  I've never had a proper fitting for a bra.  I know the band size has changed and definitely the cup size.  I was a 46 DD and know I'm wearing a 40 D .  The band seems too big and I'm not filling up the cups either....SAD!!  I'm wondering if a push-up style bra would give me that full look that I liked so much???  I guess I'll never know until I try it on.  Who would have thought that I'd be going into VS and actually buying something????  Guess I'll have to save a few $$ and get something a bit sexy...LOL!!

I am having an awful time with leg cramps.  I've been out of my good vitamins for two weeks.  I've been taking another type and I know that I need to go today to the Drs office and get my usual vits from him.  So off I go to cause chaos to others....LOL!!

  GOOD BYE 150 pounds......!!!!!


What a mile stone for me in two ways.  First...I've lost OVER 150 pounds and second...I"M IN ONDERLAND!!!!  I have not weighed anything close to onderland in nearly 2 years....yep, 20 years!!  I can't tell you how happy I am.

I've made a Valentines Goal of 190.  Hopefully that will be do-able for me.

It's odd not having to have a New Years Resolution.  In the past I always resolved to shed all of my extra weight and I would normally be signed up for Weight Watchers because of the free registration.  Not this year....I do still have a weight loss goal but....It's not a HUGE goal like it would have been in the past.  I guess my biggest resolution is just to get healthy, drink my water...take my vitamins....weigh and measure my foods and exercise.  The same things I do now.  It's not that hard. 

So onward with my journey.

I wonder if anyone ever reads my blog...if you read let me know.  I've always wondered...LOL!!

HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Chrissy

THANK YOU LORD!!!  That is the only thing that I can say.  I am just so thankful that I have been this successful on this journey.  To God to be the glory....great things he has done!!!  WOW!!!

So, this morning I get on the scale.  It's odd that I can just "feel" that I have lost a pound or two and I was right.  I'm down to 200 pounds.  I know that I am SO,SO close to that New Years Day goal of 199.  I don't know if I'll make it that day but I do know that the Lord has taken me this far....I can't imagine that he's going to stop now. 

I feel beyond good.....it sometimes make me speechless.  I am into a solid 16 for bottoms and a L on top.  Life is simplistic and good.  I have to take a few pictures to do my updates.  I am amazed at how much better I feel and how I can get around.  Everyday life seems to have something else in store for me.  It's beyond amazing!!

I know that this new year coming will have new things in store for me.  One of them being that I will get to my goal.  I'm 20 pounds away from my first goal of 180.  I know that I want to get lower then that.  I don't know exactly what I'd like to weigh.  So, I'll take it in small 5 pound increments and take it from there.  Time will tell and I have to listen to what my body tells me.

I still do not get hungry.  At times I struggle with head hunger.  I did have a few cookies (bites of them) here and there over the Christmas break but I surely was not out of control and believe me when I say they weren't really "all that"....at least not what they use to be.  A couple of times I could feel the old me wanting to eat out of control with them.  I had to talk to myself and remind myself just how good I feel right now and how I've been given a wonderful gift and I have to use it to the best of my ability.

In the beginning of February I'll be going to see Dr. Weiger.  I'll have had my ablation by then and hopefully my iron counts will be a lot better.  I'm sick of taking Foltrin.  It makes me so constipated I feel like I'm giving birth to a brick...I'm sick of it.  So if the ablation works then I won't be having my periods anymore and my iron levels can recover more quickly...and then no more Foltrin!!! 

So all in all life is good.....home life is great....work is good....and I am a blessed woman!!

Happy New Year to ALL,

Chrissy

I've been baking and baking and it sometimes is very tempting to taste.  I have had a total of four cookies.  I don't think that's going to be the end of the world and "normal" folks do have cookies.  It's a far cry from the normal half-dozen with a glass of milk that I would have had last year at this time.  I still have more baking to do.  The funny thing is the cookies are good but NOT THAT GOOD....they don't make me sick...just really, really sleepy.  But they don't taste the way that I remember....good thing for that one.

I did my usual Friday Morning Weigh-in.  I'm at 205 this morning.  I'm close to that Onederland Goal I set for myself for the New Year but only time will tell.  All I know is even if I'm a few days behind I will still be ABSOLUTELY THRILLED !!

I went to the OBGYN on Tuesday.  I'll be having my operation at the end of January.  It's out patient and I'll have off a day or two from work.  Hopefully this will help with my anemia problems and I'll be able to stop taking the Foltrin.  That stuff makes me so constipated that I think I'm giving birth to a brick...LOL!!!  Seriously...it's awful and I can't do it anymore.

I have not been to the gym for several WEEKS....It's bad I know.  I've gotten into a rut.  I find that I get moody this time of year and down and out.  Exercise would definitely help this....I know.  I promise that Monday morning I"m getting out of bed extra early and getting myself back to the gym.  I always feel great when I exercise.  I just have to MAKE the time to do this for myself. 

Off I go to find my sanity....LOL!!

Chrissy

So I mad it back from the Allegheny National Forest in one piece.  It was an adventure and a half.

I was able to do so much that I would have never been able to do before surgery. 

I walked for miles in the woods in deep snow with big hunting boots on and a rifle over my shoulder...and I didn't get tired.  I had to jump over several creeks and step over several very large trees that had blown down and nothing slowed me down.....YIPEE!!

Our truck broke down on the way up and we had to be rescued.  It was a four hour drive up there and the tow truck had to come that far....It was not a good thing.  But there is nothing up there...no tow trucks...no rentals...I mean this was roughing it...LOL!!!

We didn't get any deer...but we did have a good time.  To me that makes it the best trip.

I've really been thinking about this family drama that happened a few months ago.  It's really been bothering me.  I hate this kind of stuff...YUCK!!  I called the person that hurt me...and I do want to talk to him.  I miss him...silly I know because I don't know if I can ever really trust him again.  I guess I miss the type of relationship that we use to have.  I've know him for over 16 years and I loved him like a brother.  I was closer to him that I am my biological brother.  It's a mess and I am willing to work on things.  I don't know if our relationship could ever be the same.  That's probably the worst thing about it.  So, I called him.  He was busy at work which is to be expected so that didn't bother me.  He's  a stubborn hot head...so am I...so this might take a bit of work on both parts.  Bottom line....I want to fix this...I miss him and I know that my DH misses him too.  The ball is now in his court.....I don't know if he's going to call back or not.  Time will tell.

Off I go to do school with the boys and try to catch up on my chores around the house.  I got behind...cathcing up is HARD!!

Luv to all,

Chrissy

It just hit me that I am nine-months out from my surgery!!  I feel SO GOOD....it's just amazing!! 

Things I can do

1.  Sit like a lady with my legs crossed

2.  I have more confidence in everything that I do.

3.  I feel that I have more control over my life

4.  I don't lay on the sofa all day like I did in the past

5.  I can keep up with my chores around the house

6.  I take more pride in my appearance

7.  I can fit into a roller coaster and I got to ride on one for my B-Day

8.  I can squeeze into small places this is especially important at work

9.  I don't nap anymore

10.  I've gone from a 30/32 bottom to a solid 18 and a 3/4x top to a large.  The morning of surgery I was 350 pounds and this morning I am 208!!!  142 pounds GONE!!!!

and above all I feel SO BLESSED.  I know this is a gift and I have to keep it safe....I feel so thankful everyday ...so thankful to the Lord for giving me my life back!!

I went on yet another trip to Salvation Army.  I love that place.  I can get really nice clothes there and the funny thing is I always get compliments and no one knows where I bought what I have on...LOL!!  This last time I bought a new pair of pants for work.  I actually was able to get a sz. 16 pants.....WOW!!!!  I also did something silly.  I bought a skirt.  It's just beautiful...it's black, just below the knee.  It's more form fitting and will fit my shape nicely (MAYBE) it's got the cutest black pleats around the hem.  It looks very retro, I LOVE RETRO...but here's the only thing that has me worried.  It's only a size 10.  I can actually wiggle this skirt up but I certainly can NOT button it.  So, this is something that I will hang onto and try on once every few months.  I would love to be able to wear it...I LOVE IT...so time will tell!! 

ISo much to do today.  I have to go.

Chrissy