Fluffee

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It's been about 12 years since I was in a band but............ My band debuts THIS TUESDAY!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!! Riding motorcycle & in a band again...................... LIFE IS GOOD!!!!!


ABOVE: My Band!! REAGAN RADIO!!  I am the chick in all black...  ;-) 

OK so just a little update about my health and weight loss and all that good stuff.... I have been feeling SO GOOD and have lost a lot of weight (OK so I rounded up when I said 100 pounds and I haven't exactly actually hit the 100 pound mark yet but I am close!!). I have given away most all my bigger sized clothing (or have it packed and ready to go to new homes) and have had to buy some new stuff so I am not naked... LOL... The worst, well, most expensive anyway, is having to buy new bras. GARSH DARN they are expensive (I can't wear walmart bras, I have to have the good stuff that is comfortable). So I got new ones like a month ago and they are too big already!! I am going to go broke like this. (Go broke? What am I talking about, I have been broke for a long long time already). So anyway....  I am feeling good and enjoying this a lot. I just got over a horrible nasty upper respitory flu thing, knocked me on my ass for like 2-3 weeks (or so!!) and I felt good for like 3 days and now yesterday and today I am getting all fricken stuffed up again. PLEASE don't anyone tell me that you get sick a lot after weight loss surgery!!! I hope and pray that isn't a common side effect.

I should say too that I remain totally OFF my meds for PCOS and diabetes - (no more metformin/glucophage OR byetta for me woo hoo also don't have to check my blood sugar everyday anymore). I take NOTHING to sleep - ambien went bye-bye in June and I have never looked back! I take only one med to prevent migraines and am doing very well there. My back and neck (herniated disks) are doing very well, as are my ankle/foot problems. My attitude and outlook have improved by leaps and bounds... according to my husband I am a completely new person (or maybe he means more like the person he met/fell in love with/married again). I feel good, that's all I know.

I think I am to the point where I will stop or really slow down losing weight if I don't really start to work at it (exersize EVERYday and watch what I eat not just how much I eat... all that stuff). So I gotta get more strict with myself but, it's totally worth it. I feel so much better, light years better, and I am so thrilled with how it has gone so far. HELL??? Yes. It's been hard, difficult, miserable at times. But WORTH IT!! and I mean that.

Wishing you all well!!!! 

Tarra.....
now back to my pre-ever-pregnancy size - Yaaaaaaaaaaay!
not yet to my goal of AT LEAST what I was when I got married and/or perhaps even a little bit less than that...

I had RNY on March 19th. I had been buying bariatric surgery vitamins from various places online since before the surgery to prepare. I was very disheartened at the prices and the taste. After surgery I had a big problem getting anything down that didn't taste good and things that tasted fine before surgery didn't taste good after. I was looking for some way to be able to help others in my situation, save money, and perhaps make money somehow by distributing products that we need after surgery. Well, it all kind of came together for me and I found a product that I LOVE, it's researched and guaranteed, endorsed by well respected people, and it's available as a business to those of us who wish to distribute and make some money too. If you are interested in more info please feel free to drop me a note - I will NOT bother you. I will send you info and leave it at that. I am not interested in spamming or bugging people. You can also check out my website at www.heartl.com for some more information. I am just a woman who had RNY and ended up finding something I really needed. I want to share that with you all.

Blessings,
Tarra
RNY March 19th 2008
Lost 80 pounds so far!!

I am home now and doing a lot better. I got SO SO sick on Monday, like violently ill. I went to my surgeon's office, they gave me meds and sent me home. I didn't make it an hour and knew I had to go to the ER. So I went there and they gave me meds and sent me home. I was home for maybe an hour and knew I had to go back. So I went back to the ER and they admitted me, saying it was probably just the flu but they would keep me anyway. So then I got more and more and more sick. Tuesday morning they did a scope (horrible, hell on earth I tell you) to look down my stomach, then they did surgery to find and fix the problem. Turns out my intestines were herniated and twisted up behind my stomach. NO WONDER I was so sick!!!  ARGH. So they did surgery right away and I got home last night then. Pray to God this is IT, no more complications from this gastric bypass or I am surely going to regret doing it.

Feeling a bit better. I know I have been really negative and full of complaints lately so I thought I better post some good things for once. Today I am very happy to report that the urpie burpie thing is getting better and I am able to keep things down. I even had a little piece of shaved ham (thin deli meat) and it went down and didn’t hurt. Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!! It’s amazing how some things that are pureed will come right back up but then some things like today that are not pureed have been going down okay. I know one thing for sure. After this I am giving up pureed foods forever! Those people out there who like baby food - YOU ARE CRAZY!! ha ha ha.

When I went in for surgery almost 3 weeks ago I was so excited and I did not expect it to be SO SO HARD. It has been very difficult because there have been so many obstacles - my kids got sick, my husband got sick and was unable to stay with me in the hospital (after 2 days out of town on business) so I was alone and got really down and depressed... the pain was much worse than I imagined... the nurses were VERY NICE but not terribly helpful or "supportive"... I had a few womanly issues that did NOT need to come up at that time... the neck pain, back pain, finding out those were disk problems,  Then I got the pukey urpie burpie painful thing and was barely able to even drink anything... then the ankle injury, then everyone in my house got the stomach flu and now I have a nasty head cold. Ya know... one thing after another... I got a bit downtrodden.

Today it is a beautiful day. My 7 yr old daughter taught my 2 yr old how to say, "millionaire!" and so she is running around saying, "Mom, Millionaire!!" She couldn’t be more wrong but, it’s cute anyway! She has also started to say, "Honey" instead of "I love you". Everytime I say I love you or ask her to say it she replies, "Honey!" It is just very cute. The boys are full of piss and vinegar - Tristan (10) tried to make microwave popcorn and filled the school (one room school house) with smoke and burnt, very burnt, popcorn smell. The teacher was not thrilled. Tristan thinks it is hilarious and is still laughing about it, the little crap.

Matt left to work in Fargo for the next few days. Last time was when I had surgery, also his 35th birthday, and he had some tough luck. He went out late one night to walk to a gas station and get a candy bar and was cuffed and stuffed for assult. Mistaken identity that took the cops 3 hours to fix, leaving Matt with no candy bar and an hour of sleep before work. You would think it is one of those halfways funny things, except that it happened to him about 15 years ago too! He went to use a payphone to call me and was arrested for armed robbery... took several hours for them to clear that up. He was even ID’ed by the store clerk!! Then they found the real guy, who was much older and had a mustache and looked NOTHING like Matt. SHEEEEEEEEEEZE! So, anyway, today he left again for a few days in Fargo and we’re praying that his luck has turned around and he doesn’t have anything bad happen to him again.

On to more happy things. Madi (my oldest, 11) is playing soccer (futbol) and doing really good and loves it! She is also getting almost straight A’s and "excellents". She is doing very well. She plays the flute and makes really pretty music already.

And, I have lost over 30 pounds now. My bra’s are loose, my shurts are loose, my pants are loose... Almost time to go buy some cheap smaller clothes! This is going to get expensive I think. So when you see me and I look like a pauper, well, I guess I will look like a pauper. Unless I do become a millionaire and then I can buy a new wardrobe every other week.

OK bub-bye now - have an excellent week!!

I slipped in my driveway and broke my ankle. And I can't take anything for it! Well my surgeon had pity on my and gave me some demerol but I can't take anything other than that or tylenol. So, I am hurting pretty much all over. I am able to get some broth and a couple soda crackers down without pain so that is nice. How does that make any sense though? Drinking water hurts but eating a soda cracker goes okay. Hmmmmmmmm.

My First Question on the site:
Well I had an esophogram today (oh my gosh was that awful! that stuff they make you drink is like POISON). They said that the entry into my stomach is small and may need to be dilated later. They won't do it now because it needs to heal better or it could tear. And it could get better and I may not need it. He said that 10% of patients have to have dilation. This urpie burpie pain just sucks sooooo bad, gas-x doesn't help it, and doc says just to "tough it out" for another week or two and see how it goes. Has anyone else had to have dilation or had this issue heal itself? Thanks so much!!!

http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/information/question.php?N=T1207267365

I am also getting hickups easily all of the sudden. That's got to be an air thing. Time to learn how to drink all over again I guess.....

So recovery has been hell. I am just being honest. If anyone would have told me that I would be THIS miserable I can’t say that I would have wanted it near so bad. Ask me again in a month or so, and I am absolutely certain I will be happy with my decision and enjoying the successes of having the bigger weener (AH-HEM) I MEANT TO SAY losing weight…. GOSH DARNIT I am just naughty today. Although when I talk about it I know sometimes I can be cryptic and sound like I am talking about my “sex change” operation or something.

No folks, for those who are behind in the Fluffee Soap Opera, I had weight loss surgery 2 weeks ago. Not just any WLS, I was planning to have the minimally invasive lap-band but decided to go with the more invasive but “gold standard of WLS”, gastric bypass. 2 weeks later I have lost almost 30 pounds already and let me tell ya… Anyone who says that surgery is an “easy way out” deserves to be taken out behind the wood shed and have their butts kicked from here to mars. This is NOT easy and in fact it is probably the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. HOLY COWS there is nothing easy about this.

The last 2 weeks have been fair to partly cloudy. Why? Severe neck pain and inability to sleep because of it landed me in the chiropractor’s office, after many years of not going there (we’re talking like 15 or so) only to find out that I am all screwed up. (Yeah I know you already knew that right?) I knew my neck was “too straight” - the result of a car accident I was in when I was 15 when riding in the back seat of a car that did a nose dive, instantly introducing my head to the rear-view mirror and windshield — but little did I know that since my last MRI my neck has gone from “too straight” to actually curved the wrong direction (ouch that kind of explains why everytime they try to stick a tube in my throat I end up feeling like they tried to twist my head off!). THEN I have a bulged disk in between my shoulders, hurts like hell thanks, and the cherry on top is that pain I have had since 1993 when I injured my back at work has actually become deterioration in my lower back, another bulged disk, when WSI had been telling me it was “just sacriliaccccccccccccc pain”…. That’s a whole nother blog in itself because chances are that what WSI had me doing for my back all those years probably made it worse, not better, which I could FEEL but no one would ever believe me… [insert cursing of various sizes shapes & colors]

So I get to enjoy sipping water and broth, puking a little here and a little there OH PRETTY! after anything that decides to won’t go through the stomach, with neck and back pain and go to therapy 3 times a week in an attempt to NOT have surgery on my back (God help me if I ever have to go under the knife again someone will have to just put me out of my misery because surgery + me is not looking real good, ever, ever again).

Did I mention that I can never take advil again? The only OTC med I can take for pain now is tylenol? I don’t even know why they make that crap, it doesn’t work.

Well I guess this was my really long winded way of saying HAPPY DAY, even though I didn’t put any April Fools tricks in here anywhere. I did play a good one on Matt though. First time in all these years that I have ever gotten him good like this! I will save that for the next entry because I have to go and sip some broth here quack-like. I mean, QUICK-LIKE.

I am having migraines, which I blame on the fact that the day I checked into the hospital they wouldn’t let me take OR give me my migraine preventative med…. ya know.. 4-5 days without that is just long enough to bring them on!  My neck hurts very bad, reminds me a lot of the last time I had a tube for surgery - I swore they must have tried to break my neck. Same thing all over again, hurts like they tried to twist it off! My tummy hurts, the muscles and wounds are healing. I have 7 incisions and lots of stitches. It makes all kinds of funny noises whenever I eat or drink anything. I pretty much just drink, little bits at a time, and have eaten some jello and that sort of thing. OK OK OK so I did manage to eat a little piece of chocolate on Easter. It went down just fine, thanks :) :)  Sleeping is difficult because “rolling” is hard and I am not a back sleeper at all….. but it gets easier every night. I am VERY happy to be home in my own bed!

I take my pain meds, walk, sip, nap, walk, sip, nap, and take more pain meds. That’s about the extent of my days so far. I have managed to lose a whopping 27 pounds already!!  And no they don’t suck anything out when they do this procedure either so that is actual weight lost - there was not actually anything “removed” to make me lighter. I can see weight loss in my face and I can feel it in my legs and feet (they don’t hurt so bad when I walk now). Tummy a little too swollen yet to really notice anything there.

Everyone else in the house is pretty much sick, Matt is the worst. He took this week off to take care of me and he has ended up very ill with a cold/flu thing. He and Charleigh have bonded A LOT by laying on the couch, cuddling, freezing, sniffling, together. She pretty much won’t leave his side now. It’s pretty cute but she is sure going to have a hard time when he goes back to work.

OK Happy Day everyone!

I will tell you this much. It hurt. It’s been 5 days. I was miserable, completely miserable for the first 3, semi-miserable on the 4th, and now I am “ok” IF I stay on top of the pain medication. My stomach hurts quite a bit, but my neck and back might hurt even more I think. Rolling over to find comfort is only now becoming an option, and I have to do it carefully. I don’t remember a whole lot from the first day. The morphine was good but it made me sooo sleepy I just wanted to close my eyes the whole time. But I stayed on that PCA like crazy! No way did I want that stuff to wear off. Everytime I fell asleep I would wake up like 20 minutes or a half hour later in pain realizing that I hadn’t pushed the button (legally only the PCA user is supposed to push the button but if wasn’t alone I guarantee I would have had my hubby pushing it every 10 minutes for me so I could rest). Speaking of not having my hubby with me, he had to be out of town for work and I couldn’t even reach the phone to call him. He was worried sick all day until he finally called the nurses’ station and asked them to release enough info to let him know I was alive!! I was very very lonely without him there to help comfort me so that was hard. It was harder than I thought it would be. The nurses and CNA’s were nice, but, they didn’t go none too far out of their way to be really COMFORTING and helpful. I wasn’t terribly impressed there.

So I checked in on Tuesday night and they said I couldn’t take any of my meds anymore right. So no Yaz (birth control pill that I am trying to see if I can avoid having a yucky period every two weeks). Why am *I* the only one who can see this coming?? I am not a doctor OR a pharmacist, why didn’t they (doc or nurses) see that this would happen….  Day two after surgery, in dire pain, still have a catheter in - oh yeah, fun - can’t move myself around hardly at all even to just find some comfort in the bed and BAM. Here comes Aunt Flow (period) aka menses aka huge pain in the rear. Two days OFF the Yaz and the period shows up, cramps, clumps, and all. WHO NEEDS THIS when they just had their guts rearranged?? And why didn’t they do something to prevent that like, I don’t know, let me stay on my meds??  I won’t even get into how badly it feels to sit there not knowing when the blues are going to hit even harder because they won’t let you take your zoloft and wondering when the migraines and palpatations are going to strike because you’re going through withdrawal from the migraine prevention med which just so happens to be a med that your body gets used to and can’t just be taken off of cold turkey. ARGH. It was hard. Alone, no hubby, dire pain, NICE, but not terribly helpful or comforting nurses, period, blues, and then MIGRAINES. Sum-beach folks, it wasn’t cool I will say. IF I could do it again I would say to heck with what they say and I am staying ON my meds even if I have to crunch them up into powder and sneak them.

So, got the period and the catheter, wow, how nice. They did give me a pad. Which just made it even harder to move anywhere in the bed and find comfort. Catheter was removed and I was told to go to the toilet, which hurt BAD but had to be done. Imagine this though. Trying to wipe and stay clean while reaching over a tummy that is sore sore sore and then trying to put a pad on and pull up the underwear so the pad stays in place all while hooked up to IV’s and in loads of pain. SHEEEEEEEESH.

The answer to the migraines for them? Take me off all narcotics. They decided that it was the morphine causing the migraine, not the fact that I stopped taking the migraine-preventer cold turkey, causing the migraine. I agree narcotics can irritate migraines for me but hello — the cause was the fact that they took me off that med cold turkey. I am not even a brain scientist and I figured that one out. But the nurses decided that I should have zero-little morphine and maybe try tylenol instead. So they bring me these little cups of syrup like you give kids and the nurse said “It’s pure sugar”. OK, my first thought, just had gastric bypass and going to be injesting PURE sugar?? Does dumping happen right away? Because if it does that does not sound like a good idea to me. That’s when something goes right through you, causing pain and diahrrea, and you know  never to eat that again. The thing that they pretty much KNOW causes it is real sugary stuff. Well at that point I was just in pain and needed help so I took it. And 4 hours later I took more. And after that second dose of sugary tylenol syrup I ended up on the toilet. Not only did I have a period but now I had diahrrea too. OH THE JOY OH THE JOY OH THE JOY!!!!!!!!

and again I ask, WHY did THEY not know that was going to happen?

Well my husband got back into town and rushed to the hospital, only to find that they wouldn’t even tell him IF I was there. That’s another story I will tell you about. In the meantime, he found me, and he looked awful. Absolutely awful. At the time I needed him most he looked like he couldn’t hardly do anything other than try to care for himself. He hadn’t eaten, he was stressed, he hadn’t slept, he had a migraine and a fever… here he had gotten sick.  ARGHHHHHHHH. He was with it enough to tell me to get back on my meds and stop listening to all the crap advice I was being given. He offered to get anything I needed and crush it up and sneak it to me or whatever!! First thing…… migraine preventative. It went down fine BTW although I am NOT saying that I recommend anyone try to swallow a pill until you know good and well that you are able. He massaged my back and neck and started pushing the morphine button until I was comfortable and sleeping.  He came back the next day and helped me take a shower (you’d think that was the nurses job but guess not) and helped me get clean and comfortable, brushed through my hair for me which was horribly tangled up because NO ONE had been helping me at all. He didn’t stay long because he was again very sick and had sick kids and my poor mom taking care of them all….   My recommendation there is, if your husband is going to be out of town, reschedule. I didn’t want to wait, but, in hindsight, I should have. I did not know that the nurses and nurse aids don’t take care of you in hospitals anymore, not REALLY, and I didn’t know that the “experts” would be so stupid as to basically know that I would probably be getting a period, migraines, and diahrrea and not help me to prevent it.

My niece came up to see me the first day because I was unable to make any phone calls and everyone was so worried. So she talked to me and then called my mom and my husband and let them know I was okay, and she proceeded to ask for the sign that goes on the door asking visitors to check in with the nurses before coming into your room. This was because I was SO MISERABLE. She then asked the information desk to also call the nurses station rather than just give out my room number to anyone who stops by. Well, what happened was they then TURNED AWAY flowers that were sent to me. Just rejected them. And visitors, and phone calls. They made it appear like I wasn’t even there. Tell me …. where is the logic in that?  My children sent me multiple emails and I didn’t get one of them. They print them out and deliver them but, they rejected them on my behalf. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAZINESS I TELL YOU. All we wanted was for a nurse to come in and check on me BEFORE people came to visit. That’s all. And, well, whatever……………….

So this is really turning into one big huge complaint isn’t it?? I don’t know folks. While I think I would do the surgery again I can’t say that I would choose the same hospital next time. I honestly don’t think I would. I was not impressed. I liked my surgeon though, and like I said everyone was “nice”…  but it all just turned into a real circus and the main attraction was my pain and misery. I didn’t appreciate it much. I used to be a nurse aide and I will tell you that when I did it I went SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much farther out of my way to assist people and be of comfort to them when they needed it.

I am glad it’s over and I am well on my way to better health and much happiness. I will keep you posted!!