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Okay I have lost around 80lbs now.... Slow but steady is okay with me. I have had some hairloss though... :( and that is hard, but it will grow back. I am going to do a 2 week protein diet to stop it. That is what the doc says causes hairloss is not enough protein. So here goes.... Just like the preop diet. I guess I can't complain because I am really eating "well" for someone who has had the surgery. I havent really done things right thus far and should get back on the right track before I stretch my pouch.... I can't wait to play softball though!!! It is so hard to sit on the sidelines and watch, when I just want to be out there with my friends.... But I don't want to pop my stomach and I want to be safe so I will wait 2 more months!!! Yay I cannot wait....

Okay so I have hit 2 weeks since the surgery and have not lost another pound. Why? My doc says it will happen shortly and to just give it time. I lost a lot of wieght with the pre op diet really fast. I am not losing at all now. He says my body is trying to recover from the surgery and it will get better soon.  Less than 500 calories a day should mean weight loss in my book. So we will see what the next 2 weeks bring. But if I don't lose weight I will be really dissappointed I did all this for nothing. I am trying to behave, and I havent had a spec of anything with sugar, I should drink more water I know that. It is just hard to be working and drinking water all day. I don't know we will see what happens. But that is where I am, and hopefully the scales will start moving soon.

I had my surgery five days ago. I am recovering pretty okay, but don't know how I feel. I really freaked out before the surgery and almost changed my mind. The word "irreversible" was stuck in my head and I guess it still is. I started at 276 and with the pre op and the last five days I am at 248. Almost 30 lbs which should excite me right? But trully I am kinda depressed. I can't eat at christmas dinner.... or enjoy livations at new years and my dietician says I shouldn't do it anyways, but damn it I love the holidays. And I don't want to be the poor poor girl who just had surgery sitting there with people feeling bad for me because I cannot enjoy. I am miserable because of this. MISERABLE. I want to enjoy my holidays. Maybe I am feeling sorry for myself, I really don't know. I don't want to be a damn tooth pick, I am not trying to be that way..... But I want to eat, I am just not hungry, and can only have protein shakes and clear fluids. Well I am tired of Water. And I can't figure out how to drink it without taking in air, I sip I hurt, I drink any faster I hurt. The pain is in my chest which makes me feel like I am having a heart attack... So am I normal or just freaking out.