Soft And Lovely
The Things We Do For Life
Jun 22, 2007
I had occasion today to think about the things we do to ourselves over the years in order to achieve a normal weight and healthy life. I've done shots, liquid, starvation, counting calories, counting exchanges, prayer (odd because I'm a total heathen), ignore it, and embracing my fat chick pride just to name a few. I was thinking about the lies and truths I've been told over the years about weight loss and now to achieve it. Mainly though I've been thinking about the lies and they make me angry. I hate the things people will tell us overweight folk just to earn a buck. I hate quack chemicals they sell us to put into our bodies. I guess the bottom line is I think some of these people are honestly trying to make a difference in the lives of people but some of them are predators pure plain and simple! I am angry today for all the times I was taken advantage of but I am also grateful to the people who knew what they were talking about and really have tried to help.
The Power Of Denial
Jun 20, 2007
Since I've recommited myself to getting this surgery and an actual permanent solution to my weight issues, I have been obsessed with all the Discovery Channel shows related to obesity. The other day I was watching one where the man was bed ridden and in a residential program for people with obesity. A worker came in and confronted him with the "unauthorized" snack foods he had stored in his closet. He lay there in the bed he hasn't been able to leave for seven years and said to the woman, without any trace of irony, "Yes but I have my snacking under control." I sat there on my couch with my bag of microwave popcorn in a positive foam of self righteous indignation. "Well obviously you don't have it under control or you wouldn't be in the situation you're in!" I shouted at my TV screen. Then I looked down at myself. This is the fattest I've ever been in my whole life. I know it's ruining my health and my quality of life and yet I continue to eat. I've been down the road twice before trying to get this surgery but at the last minute I always convince myself that perhaps just one more diet will do the trick. It really pulled me up short when I realized my denial process was no different than his. It's the very same addiction with the very same thinking. Unless I turn off this road that will be me lying in the bed which is just a stepping stone to my grave. The time is right and I need to go ahead and have this surgery done!
The Beginning
Jun 20, 2007
We are a week before my 40th birthday right now... well tomorrow will be a week anyway. I am resolved to spend the rest of my life at a healthy normal weight. Right now I'm at the beginning of the process. I've contacted the local bariatric center, I've filled out the intake form, I know I'm going to have to follow a six-month life coach plan outlined by my insurance company. I've got my info packet from the hospital and I'll be attending the informational meeting next Wednesday (day before my big 4-0 birthday). Hopefully I'll be able to get started on my six month telephone coaching plan soon thereafter. I'm hoping to have surgery next year before my 41st birthday!
