fullahope

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I'm back to work and feeling really good.  Feels so weird to be back to be honest rather be playing stay at home mommy with my sweet 2 year old boy.  Everyone keeps saying wow, you look good one nosey person asked me so what else did you have done.  I'm not comfortable telling my business yet, it's private to me.  On the home front my baby boy is officially potty trained at 2.5 years so I accomplished something good while healing at home and it's official my oldest son who's graduating high school is going to University of California Berkeley class of 2012 in August, I'm so proud of him, now to figure out how to pay for it LOL.  Life is good, I'm down 29 lbs since Jan 9th which is the day of weigh in with my surgeon, I guess about 23 lbs since the procedure.  My first wow moment happened this weekend around family and definitely when I came back to work.  I had to have a bunch of clothes altered before coming back made my size 18-20's to about a size 14 and I bought a pair of basic black pants for work the other day and fit in a 14, I was thrilled.  I'm going to try to post some before and after pics if I can figure it out.  It's been quite a journey and I'm starting to like the new me, feeling better about myself not just physically but mentally too, amazing what losing weight can do for you and how you feel about yourself.  Thanks for letting me share my journey.  Sharon

4 weeks post op today......And just jumped on the scale and I'm at 203 today, guess that's my first real wow.  wow like, 3 more pounds until I'm finally back in the one hundreds, major wow.  I'm doing ok, feeling a little guilty because I feel pretty good, good enough to be back to work and I know they need me but I still have 2 weeks off though, but really I'm making more $$$ to stay  than I do when I'm at work just very strange if you ask me but between the SDI and salary continuation I'm making more go figure, so where's the incentive LOL.  Just truly been enjoying my time off with my baby boy while I've been healing, it's nice to play stay at home mommy when your'e so use to working full time for the last 25 years non stop and raising kids too.   It's been suh an exciting time for me last couple weeks, so far my son the hgh school senior has been accepted to UC Berkeley, UCLA, UC San Diego, UC Santa Barbara, UC Davis, I"M SO PROUD.  We're still waiting on a couple big ones so no decision made as to where he's going in Aug/Sept.  I will say this though, I'm going to miss my baby more than I can tell you.  We've been through so much together and our mother/son bond is incredible.  I'm so having empyy nest syndrome and if not for my little boy (2 year old), I really don't know how I'd cope or will cope with the whole bringing him /sending him off to college thing but I know that this is what it's all about right, knowing you've raised them right, so right that they are so smart and have choices like this like  them getting into such a prestigous schools and doing what they need to do for themselves.   Anyway, no complications really just bad day and bad food choices.  No dumping which I'm finding weird because I hear so much of that.  Anyway, my boy is calling got to go,  will blog more again in a couple days, thanks for letting me share my joy with you all.  Sharon

We'll let's see it's been an interesting ride to say the least.  Today is the worst day for me physically, I feel like I've been doing too much bending, work and not enough rest.  It was my pre-op today so started at 229 and today was 218.  I thought it would have been more but I'm so bloated, my scale this morning said about 214 an I swear I only had what I could get down today, soups, popsicles, jello, cottage cheese.  Doctor and his staff are so nice and caring.  I had to take my mom with me to the appointment really wasn't up for the drive and she totally busted me out to the nurse and coordinator telling them I was wearing stillettos.  Mom's has been driving me a little batty she had RNY last year is down about 90lbs.  She's the reason I think in part I travelled this road because I saw what it did for her.  I was travelling medical co-morids exactly as her and I said to myself I can keep going and end up as bad as she was 25 years from now or do something now in hopes of gaining control of my health.  I think I chose right, I'm trying to just heal and take it easy on myself as possible.  With 3 kids it's hard and my husbands knee went out last Sunday and he's been really no help with the little guy as he should be right now.  We both look like little old people walking around the house with our aches and pains.  I was feeling so good first week or so not sure why but I feel worse today than I did day of and day after surgery, praying tomorrow is a better day.  My 42 year old body feels 82.  My back is in severe pain and the nights have been kind of rough to be honest.  I've been tripping out about all the vivid dreams since surgery guess its the anesthesia wearing off or the pain meds not sure but IO've been having some night terrors, real trippy dreams that make me real goofy in the mornings.  I've been getting up early as my body and back are in pain and it feels better to keep moving but I realize I'm not resting enough.  Going to end for tonight and try to get some sleep.  You know one of my bad dreams this week was weird and although I woke up crying and weird circumstances in that dream what tripped me out was that I looked amazing, had on this drop dead gorgeous dress on and had a pair of these killer butt stillettos like you see on the stars with the red soles and I was like wow, I loooked pretty good.  Kind of weird but think there's a hidden message in there somewhere.  Good night everyone.

And I'm really starting to get nervous.  I've done my shopping redid my will, signed/notarized (just in case) and I think am mentally ready.  It's not the surgery that scares me or pain afterwards as I have a high tolerance for pain but the fear of not waking up and seeing my children or husband again.  My pre-op is Wednesday afternoon.  A part of me is scared, a part of me is excited to begin this weight loss journey.  I'm trying to get everything done here at work since I'll be gone several weeks.  I feel so guilty, my job is a busy one but I love it, but I worry about the young girl who will be covering for me.  I took 2 days last week to take my oldest son to Harvard University for a college visit and she hugged me and told me she was so glad to see me back, that was 2 days.  What will happen after 4 weeks.  I wish my mom wouldn't have given me this work ethic that I have, I can't even call in sick or take a vacation day without guilt, it's awful.  I'm just going to concentrate on me and healing and try to forget about work for a little bit.  I've chosen to NOT tell anyone but family a maybe 2 close friends about my surgery, everyone thinks I'm having another type of surgery, that;s my choice.  This is such a private personal matter to me, one that I'm not ready or willing to share with anyone right now.  Anyway it's count down time, just thought I'd start writing in my blog.  I'm going to take pics this week and measurements so I have something to look back on.  On the positive front, my oldest son is about 1 month away from finding out which universities he's been accepted to, such an exciting time.  I'm so proud of the young man he is and how well he's done in high school.  He's a national merit scholar so his opportunities will be awesome it's just a matter of choice I think on which coast he wants to study in West or East.  The mommy in me says baby chose the West coast so I can see him but the mother in me says do you really want to turn Harvard down, you may regret it.  It's not my choice to make but his, I'm just here to guide him and pay for it LOL.