A whole new perspective

Mar 09, 2009

So I am about 9 weeks out from surgery, and hit my shopping goal of 60 pounds (61 to be exact). It coincided with a trip to Indy that my mom and I were going to take together.  It was an amazing experience. For the first time since I was probably a freshman in college, I tried on a size 14 dress and it fit. I was able to actually shop and try things on instead of getting upset that they didn't have another "X" in front of the "XL"  "X " isnt even a part of my language anymore, at least not for the top half. I've lost the majority of my weight in my waist, and am beginning to see a difference in my legs and arms. It's just phenomenal! I've said for weeks that I cannot tell that I've lost much weight, but shopping this weekend gave me a whole new perspective. I have always had a problem with seeing me the way my family and boyfriend see me. I see my list of failures instead. Now, when someone compliments me, I say thank you, because I know they genuinely mean it.
I'm slowly beginning to get back into a workout routine.  I try to get some cardio in by walking the mall for a few hours every week, and I live up three flights of stairs and walk across campus, but I need to get some resistance stuff in.I DVR'd a couple of things to do for my late nights at work. My schedule is so hectic that I'm struggling getting the workouts in, but I know I need them. I WANT to do them. I remember the endorphin rush I would have when I worked out and how my mood was pleasant and stable, and I want that back again. I get such a sense of accomplishment out of it because I know I'm doing something good for my body. And it's MY time. I work as an addictions counselor, and after a day of assisting my clients with overcoming their addiction, I know it would be hypocritical of me to not maintain and overcome my own addiction...food.
And speaking of food, it's still something that I'm struggling with. I started my solid foods a week ago, and I was terrified. I was certain that one bite would make me gain everything back. I've been using my bariatric cookbook, but it doesn't seem to ease my mind. I have the majority of the "bad' cravings out of my head, which is a relief. I'm beginning to really crave good things for me, and I don't miss soda and caffiene like I thought I would. I happily sip on a light minute maid cherry limeade and feel just as good. I'm still struggling with drinking the protein, but I'm now able to make up for it by eating chicken and seafood. Restaurants can be kind of awkward with some waiters and waitresses who look at me oddly when I take the majority of my food home, but hey..this time around I know I'm getting my money's worth instead of stuffing all of it in my mouth in 20 minutes...that's 2 lunches and a dinner I'm packing up!!!
Well, I have rambled. I hope everyone had a good weekend and has a good week!!!

Sara

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