Angela J.
2018- I never really had success with my Lap Band...I tried lots of times over the years but would always end up back in the mid 300's. Our small hospital, where i am an ER nurse, got a bariatric surgeon and I started talking to her about revision. I had my band removed Jan 10th of this year and am having RNY May 2nd. I'm dealing with a lot of emotions but I'm determined to change my life.
2008 My family always tells me about how when I was little I was so skinny and how I appeared "sickly." They think that after I had my tonsils removed (at 5 years) was when I started gaining weight. This may be true, but I don't remember it. I do, however remember when I was 6 and I cut my chin on metal roofing and had to have about 30 stitches in my chin. I can remember being very spoiled after that event. I also think that after this happened is when I started eating to fill emotional holes.
I always felt big, partly because I was very tall as a child but also just because I was a big girl. I remember crying when I was in 4th grade because I asked this boy to be my partner in a square dance we were performing at school and he said no. He never said it was because I was big, but I always attributed any rejection to my size. I went through elementary and Junior high with many friends and if people ever made fun of my weight I didn't know about it. I just found records from the first time I was ever in weight watchers and I weighed 185. I was 13 years old. Through junior high and high school I did at least 3 sports a year and tried very hard at all of them but I still weighed 260 pounds by my senior year. I don't remember eating really bad things but I know that I have always had a problem with portion control.
A very defining moment in my weight was the summer I graduated from high school. I had a fight with one of my best friends and he said he never wanted to be friends with me again. I was depressed, never diagnosed, but just felt it. Putting that with absence of organized sports I ate myself to 325 pounds. From that point in 2000 I fluctuated between 300 and 325 until the month before I started dating my husband in 2004. That month I finally got into the 290's and was soo excited. When I started dating my husband we both made terrible changes in our eating habits and both gained weight. It's not fair that he gained like 20 pounds and I ended up at my all time high of 362. Men are jerks. JK. So now we've been together for 3 years and have been able to maintain my weight at about 355 but am not having any sucess at losing it. I want so much, more than anything in the world, to be pregnant and start having kids but I know that I am not healty enough to go through a pregnancy without putting myself and a baby at serious risk. I want to get healthy now so that the rest of my life I can be here for my family and my future children. I know that I am so worth it and it's time for me to start taking care of myself. Thanks if you took the time to read my novel. I must admit it was very therapeutic to put it on paper (computer actually).
