Heather S.

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Well, I hit my one year surgiversary yesterday...here's my random thoughts.

First, I haven't been on this site in months...and haven't been really watching my food or exercise very regularly.  It amazes me to come on here and see my before pictures.  I look like I'm about ready to explode!  Who is that girl?  I hardly recognize her.  I had NO idea really how bad I looked.

Next, I am trying to get "back on track"...My lowest weight after surgery was around 183 I think (about 100 lbs lost) and that was back in July or so I think... My weight this past month has been hovering around 192...so I need to get a check on things.  Obviously, it's been creeping back on.  

I feel great...and that makes it difficult to recognize that I still should be continuing to lose.  I know the change is remarkable...but I also know that health wise I should probably be about another 30 lbs. that what I am currently.

I have had NO real complications.  I faithfully read, researched and followed the "rules"...I knew what I was in for when I did this.  I am disappointed in myself that I fooled myself into believing that I would follow the rules forever and then by 6 months out was pretty much eating what I wanted to...including occasional candy and fast food.  (I'm just being honest...I am ashamed).  I do not dump...this is disappointing...I wanted to have that safe-guard.  I know those people out there who dump easily probably think I'm nuts...I guess the grass is always greener on the other side...huh?

Most days and most times I don't even think about my stomach being smaller or having the surgery...I live pretty much a normal life.  I think I probably eat fairly large portions compared to what I read from most post-op's...depending on the day I usually can eat about 1/4 to 1/2 of whatever a "normal" portion is like at a restaurant or fast food meal.  I've been guilty of buying a double cheeseburger and small fry...eating about 1/2 of it, feeling full...and then about 1/2 an hour later finishing the burger.  So you see how easy it is to continue to eat poorly and gain back your weight...even with a tiny pouch.

I went from a size 24 pants to a size 14...I went from a 3X shirt to a L or XL (I like to wear my clothes looser rather than tighter...even after the weight loss).  It's a LOT more fun to shop for clothes now.  Heck, it's a LOT more fun to do EVERYTHING. 

My confession, my main problem...why I believe my weight loss stopped...is because I started drinking alcohol again.  I honestly believe I do have an "issue" with alcohol.  I'm not physically dependent...but I probably would still qualify as an "alcoholic" since I will drink alone and drink in excess...sometimes for several days or weeks in a row.  This is something I'm ashamed of and thought I had kicked prior to surgery.  A few months after surgery I had a glass of wine, a week later had several glasses of wine...months went on...wine turned to vodka...it was a slow slide.  I have stopped drinking again and plan to continue to stay "dry".  It's a bad thing for me....I guess I just want to point out what has "gone wrong" and why I have stopped losing and started gaining...I don't fault the surgery at all.  I didn't really notice much of a difference in how alcohol affects me now compared to before surgery...although it may move into and out of my blood stream more rapidly...meaning I feel the buzz more quickly and it does seem to dissipate more quickly.  (Just want to give as much info as I can for those who are curious)

What else?  I am more confident, more outgoing, more open...I feel like I'm back to who I "used to be" years ago...before I somehow closed myself into a womb of FAT and stopped living the life I loved.

God is good.  He has forgiven me my "sins"...He loves me, He gives me hope.  I want to honor my body and glorify Him in my life.  I pray that next year when my surgiversary comes around (if not before) I'll still have the desire to come back and report here on my life post-surgery.  I pray I won't have "confessions" to make but rather just be able to give Him glory for all He's done in my life.

I am sorry if you've emailed me and I didn't respond.  I really don't come on here anymore...it's nothing personal...and so much of what's in my message box now is months old...so what's the point of responding?

I'm grateful for this website and this community...it was (and still is) an exceptionally valuable tool.

God Bless....

I've finally been rewarded with 198# this morning!  Just wanted to share with people who actually think getting below 200 is amazing and aren't just appalled that I ever let myself get to over 200 lbs in the first place!I'm glowing today!!

I've felt better and more energetic for several weeks...but now I can actually REALLY see a difference in how I look...and it feels AMAZING!  My weightloss has dramatically slowed down and it seems I'll never reach ONEderland...but I know it's just my impatience...so I'm trying to enjoy every bit of this process...even seeing the dumb scale float between 200.6 and 203 for WEEKS.  

I'm struggling with clothing at the moment...I seem to be in that weird land between misses and womens clothing and I can't figure out what to wear that fits!  Sometimes it's a 16W and ohertimes it's a regular 16 or 18...it just seems to depend on how the cut is.  Everything seems big in the waist and small in the hips/thighs...which is really strange for me because I've always had thin legs in comparison to my stomach...it's amazing how our bodies change with weight and age.  The last time I was this weight was about 8 years ago and I was proportioned very differently.

I'm flying home to Nebraska to see my family this weekend...and I'm excited to feel like the plane seats have plenty of room compared to the last time I flew (pre-surgery).  Funny how it's those little things that really make a difference.

Hubby was checking me out last night and gave lots of nice compliments...(which is not something he normally does)...it felt really good...he's really the one I want to be noticing and appreciating my weight loss!  Oh, I appreciate all the many compliments from friends...but none of them have meant 1/2 as much as hearing my hubby call me sexy!  What a guy!

Anyway...haven't regretted this decision for even a second.  This is an amazing ride!

I've been noticing that the scale seems to be "stuck" lately...I mean it moved down well several days ago but then bounced back up and has just hovered around the same 5 lbs for the last 2 weeks.  Today I weighed in at 211 which is 77 lbs gone since I started the pre-surgery diet.  Which is amazing and I'm grateful!  

Maybe the scale is not stuck, but I feel as though I'm not being as diligent as I was...so I'm going to go back to making sure I record ALL my food, exercise, water and vitamins...I think I need to get a grip on what I'm doing "wrong" if there is something...(and there probably is!) I know now that I can eat pretty much "anything"... I have been (in small quantities) and I just don't think that's the right mindset to be in right now...it's still so early out and this is the time I'm supposed to most easily drop the weight.  

I've been doing great with exercise lately...it truly feels like a lifestyle now...and I usually crave doing it by the end of the day if I didn't get it in early.  I've been averaging 5 days a week for between 45-65 minutes of walking plus some elliptical and weight/resistance band work. 

Starting today I'm also trying to lower my dosage of Fluoxetine. I'll be taking 20mg on MWFSu and 40mg on TTSa until my 40mg tabs run out...so a couple months anyway. I'd like to completely get off of it as long as it doesn't affect my ability to cope w/ the stressful days with Ron and Devon. I do seem to feel better while on it, but I have almost no sex drive and I feel it's because of the increase in dosage since my surgery...I think my drive should be increasing w/ the weight loss and it just seems to be GONE! 

Cleaning out my closet has certainly provided some WOW moments lately...I'm actually to the point that my closet feels bare and there are only 2 shirts that I can't wear because they're too small (and I just bought them)  All of my old "skinny clothes" I can either wear or have already shrunk out of...what a feeling!  Looking forward to starting to shop for a new wardrobe this summer!  (Hopefully hubby will be as excited for that as I am!)  Speaking of hubby...he's been wonderful, giving me nice compliments and words of encouragement at least once a week.  I feel so blessed!

Lord God, I ask for your help, strength, determination and self-control as I continue on this journey to lose weight, gain health and glorify you in my body.  Thank you for allowing this surgery and the amazing weight loss and energy gains I've had so far...I feel wonderful!  You are a good and loving God and I thank you for all the wonderful people you've placed in my life to support me on this journey!  I pray to enjoy every compliment while remaining humble and giving you all the glory!

 

Well...look at my latest picture...is my head getting bigger???  

Seriously...after 60+ lbs of weightloss people are really starting to notice a change in me and I'm getting compliments pretty much daily...my head must be getting bigger!  

How can I balance the compliments to stay humble while savoring each one to get me through the times when I want to revert back to old habits??
It really is wonderful to get the validation that I'm looking better...because I certainly FEEL so much better.

Thank you God for this life-changing surgery, and thank you for blessing me with friends who are cheering me on and have my best at heart.

I only pray I can glorify & serve Him through my new-found health and energy!

Ok, so I can't figure out how to post a picture directly into my blog...someone help!  Well, for now you can click on this link...I think it will work.

http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t132/hdschlessinger/Comparisonnightbeforesurgeryand12we.jpg

The pictures are from the night before surgery and today (12 weeks post surgery)...I can sort of see the difference I guess. (I certainly FEEL better!)  I wish I would have taken before pictures in jeans!  I can see a more distinct difference there.  It was late and I was ready to go to bed when we thought "oh yeah...before pictures!" hence the pj's!

A few minutes ago I was reading a "confession" on the message board from someone who's blowing it post surgery...no exercise, smoking again, addicted to pain pills, etc... and I was surprised how much I related to her depression.  It brought me right back to prior to my surgery and how helpless I felt to change things.  I posted a response back to her about how I got started with exercise and I thought maybe someone reading my blog might find it helpful if they're feeling unmotivated in that area...so I'm posting the meat of the post here:

I tend to have "all or nothing" type thinking...either I'm really "good" or really "bad".  Prior to surgery, good meant I was taking my vitamins, drinking my water, exercising hard, eating healthy.  Bad meant I was taking no supplements, drinking too much (alcohol), sitting on my butt and sleeping my day away, binging on fast food, junk food, candy, icecream etc... There was no "medium", no just "ok".

Several months before surgery I had a paradigm shift of sorts and just decided I was going to make myself put on the exercise clothes and go downstairs and get on the treadmill.  I didn't set any un-realistic goals this time about how fast or how far...just that I would do it.  Every day.  I wouldn't allow myself to get on the internet until I did it (talk about a motivator!)  

For the first week or so I probably only went about 2.2 mph for about 10 minutes (if that) but just getting in the habit of doing it each day was very valuable for me.  Eventually I started playing little games of how far, or how long, or beating yesterdays numbers, or how many songs can I work out for...you know?  Once I was regularly working out for at least 1/2 an hour at a time; then I stopped doing it every day and allowed myself to have weekends off.

Now, post-surgery I actually almost crave exercise.  It burns off the stress and makes me feel energetic and healthy.  Also, of the almost 60 lbs I've lost now only about 2 lbs of  ISN'T fat mass.  The exercise has be burning off fat and increasing muscle...it's amazing how my body is re-shaping and toning up.  One key for me post-surgery (because I was getting bored with the treadmill) was finding a friend to walk with each day...we walk 3 1/2 miles at least 3 times a week (usually 4+) and it's wonderful.  It goes by so quickly when you've got a buddy that's holding you accountable and to chat with while you do it.

Hope that helps someone to get started...thanks for reading!

Well...again, nothing too new to write about...but it's been 2 weeks since my last entry so I figure it's about time to touch base.

I'm at 235lbs now...which is 53 lbs down.  I feel great.  Lots easier to fit into & through tight spaces...WAY easier to exercise and I'm actually mostly enjoying it.  I feel happy, healthy & strong...this surgery was the right choice for me!  I will say that I feel like I'm a "slow loser" but I'm pretty much ok with that...as long as I keep losing!  Where am I noticing the most loss?  Throughout my torso area I guess...my cup size has most certainly decreased (which is a good thing) and so has my stomach and "pouch" area.  I mean, everything has shrunk...but I'm noticing it most in my torso area...which is weird because that used to be the last place to shrink when I'd lose weight before...my legs would tone up way before my stomach or chest area.

I did get results back from my blood work at the beginning of January and I'm slightly deficient in Vitamins A & D...my surgeon said those are the 2 vitamins he typically sees people become deficient in and he wasn't surprised...just wanted me to start supplementing them into my regular routine (great...more pills!)  Oh, I am taking pills again...no more chewables for me!  YEAH!  I got the official ok from my surgeon and switched over...I'm doing a much better job of getting them all in now.

Food wise...well, I've found that the less "dense" foods definitely sit better.  Which also usually means less protein-rich...so that's a bad thing.  I force myself to eat the more dense foods when I'm home but I do tend to rely on things like veggies or soup or baked potatoes when I'm out in public just because I know they'll sit fine.  I'm able to do eggs again.  That makes me happy.  And I don't think cheese was really the problem with my "foamies"...I just think I was maybe rushing things too quick and my pouch wasn't ready for what I wanted yet.  Now I seem to be doing pretty well.  I haven't had foamies in a couple weeks but I do occasionally have that "stuck" feeling.

I did have some wine recently...doesn't seem to affect me much different than before surgery actually.  Maybe I get buzzed a little quicker.  I just need to stay away from alcohol in general because I know I like the feeling of being buzzed/drunk more than the average person...don't want to start some sort of "transfer addiction".

Exercise...I've been doing well.  Mostly walking; either outside or on the treadmill...but I do some elliptical and free-weight work too.

Can't think of anything else right now...Oh, I did finally get to my nutrition class/ support group thing I joined...I think it will be very helpful to continue to go, especially in the future if I start to struggle with sticking to the program.

Take care, thanks for reading!

I can't think of anything too exciting I need to share w/ everyone...but feel like it's time to update since today is officially 8 weeks since my surgery.

Here's what's been going on w/ me WL-wise.  

-I exercise regularly...at least 30 minutes 3 times/week.  Usually it's more like 4-5 times/week for 40+ minutes.
-I'm eating between 400-600 calories/day
-I get between 50-80 grams of protein a day
-I still struggle with getting in my water each day (I never had a problem before surgery!)...but my goal is a minimum of 50 oz.
-I take a multivitamin and a calcium chew each twice a day (at sep. times of course)
-I'm still dealing with the "foamies" from time to time...I need to be careful that I eat slow, chew well and really pay attention to how things are going down...even then I sometimes have problems.
-According to my scale I've lost something like 47 lbs since my 2 week pre-surgery diet started.  As of this morning I weighed in at 241.

I've realized I do need to drink the "smooth move" hot tea every couple of days just to be sure the bowels keep moving...this is a new experience for me!  Funny how we just take our bodies doing what they need to do for granted until they don't do what they need to do! 

I feel great!  I have a lot more energy and I've increased my speed and endurance on the treadmill.  I don't have any weird pains or problems unless I've eaten something my pouch doesn't like (and that's all still usually a mystery to me!).

Our Christmas was blessed.  Probably the best Christmas we've ever had as a family...very relaxing and centered on all the right things...God, family and friends.  Dear hubby bought me an elliptical (which I asked for) and it's KICKING MY BUTT!  I can only do about 6 minutes on it before I need to switch over to the treadmill to finish off my work-out!  Everyone assures me that this is normal and that I'll be able to increase my time on there quicker than I'd imagine.  We'll see I guess.

I'm so grateful for this surgery...I truly feel it is saving my life.  I am so blessed to have supportive family, friends and insurance...and then to find a skilled surgeon who's the perfect fit for me.  I'd suggest Dr. Bilof to anyone...he's truly a kind man and a skilled surgeon...my recovery can hardly even be called a recovery since I felt almost back to normal before I even left the hospital!

Happy New Year everyone...I know '08 is going to be a life-changing year for me physically!  I can't wait!

Ok, I've gone a few days of no foamies now...and doing better with getting in more "real" foods for protein rather than shakes...so I'm feeling pretty darn good about my progress today!  I did stop using cheese...maybe that was the problem.  I'll try it again someday I'm sure.

Doing well with my exercise so far this week...I had good hard workouts Tue, Wed and today.  My friend Monika and I are "accountability partners" which is REALLY helping...just knowing someone is paying attention and waiting to hear that I've done my workout helps motivate me when I don't want to do it (which is always by the way).  I am truly excited about how much further and faster I can go on the treadmill...it's amazing what taking off 35 lbs will do for you!