Post Op Visit!

Feb 22, 2011

Well...got a truck load of shit today from they surgeon. I'll start from the beginning. Had surgery on 1-19-11 and got home on 1-22-11. Strained myself using the washroom at the reststop on the way home and i think i pulled some musles that i shouldn't have. By the next morning i was bruised on the belly from my bellybutton leftwards about t handprint in length. Of course i panicked. I wasn't prepared for the weak feeling i had and the weakness lasted about 4 1/2 weeks. I wasn't even able to braid my daughters hair continual for most of that time. Eating was horendus. No  appetite and i hate jello and since i was weak everything was a chore. I started mall walking by week 3 involuntarily. And even tho i really don't enjoy water to sip i keep trying to make myself drink it. But i find everything i very tiring and thats depressing. I'd rather stay in my jammies all day, lay in bed and listen to the radio as tv is too much work to watch. I have been making myself do things anyway. Everyday i try to cllimb the stairs at least once and i pick 1 major job to do around the house.
As of today i'm 34 days post op.
It all started on my dietition day which was feb 9th. At that moment i should have asked for another nut. but i made myself sit through and god awful meeting which seemed to last forever. It was like getting repremanded at the principals office and after her first 2 sentences i should have just walked out. But being the nice person i am i sat there listening to her crap. Did she not ever once glance at my phyc report? Even i know i had her turned off at her first look of discust because i hadn't followed her directions exactly. My water intake is poor, my food intake is poor, if i tried to eat i wouldn't be so weak. And if i had to look at her grab that rubber food one more time to show me portion size i think i would have much more enjoyed wrapping my fingers around her neck to show her exactly how much i already knew about portion size. Then...doesn't she threaten me with "i'm writing to your surgeon and telling her your not following my directions."....at that moment my mind was made up to shut her out and find another way to survive. After all, i am a survivor. I knew what i was getting into and it was no surprise and i have really tried to follow their directions but even water makes me feel ill. Guess thats why i decided to try protein drinks. I was going to try one every time i knew it wasn't going to be a good food day and i was going to use it instead of water also. So thats exactly what i have done. Strawberries, sometimes bananas, blueberries and protein powder with a little ice. Sometimes i get inventive and use yogurt, milk or juice it just depends on my mood. I figure if i drink at least 1/2 i'm doing great!
Next visit was on 2-10-11 to see the referring dr who is trekki. I think i would have like to see a little more initiative from him. Do these dr's and nuts not realize they are our initiative?...if we are going in to see them should they not treat us with the same respect we give them?....well...i'm in no hurry to my next appointment with him...he just said almost exactly the same thing word for word what the nut had wrote down for him to say!...i listened with interest and it was with great intensity for something to come out of his mouth to regain my interest....nope...nothing. So i took my little appointment cards and away i went .... home.
Ah ha....today was the clincher. I drove 3 1/2 hours to see my surgeon just to be met with the same god damn look of discust. She said she got an email from my nut and i think there was an attachment. The attachment was that discusting look. The nut wore it quit well and so did the surgeon. I should have just taken picture with my phone and every time i do something i shouldn't i could just look at the pic on my phone at least that way i could have saved myself $100 in gas it cost me to drive there and back. Oh yes...i wasn't drinking enough water...2 bottles isn't enough...i already know that!...and what is my food intake like?...hummm....she asked what did i eat today...this is at 2pm...i said...nothing...she asked why?... i said i didn't have time...but i did bring my water with me...nope...wasn't good enough...she see's lots of people from my area and they pack a lunch for the ride...and why didn't i at least pack a lunch. She then said she had a function to attend with her child and she packed him a lunch that was nutritious including tofu....ewe...tofu...no thank you. She said if i don't start drinkin more my kidneys will fail...and yes...i can appreciate that. She said if i don't start eating 3 meals a day and drinking my 60oz of water i'm setting myself up for great disappointments and i will not onlly not loose my weight but what i do loose i will gain back. Well...there is no way in hell i will ever gain this weight back. i put it on with drinking alchol and pop...and i know how i did it and i really don't enjoy alchol enough to go back to drinking. Pop...well yes i did enjoy it...but i haven't had even a sip since 1-3-11...so i'm giving myself a big pat on the back. Chips, junkfood...nope...nothing....no cookies either. I have tried popcorn plain...i was at the show...and i gave it away after a couple bites anyway.
Do these people not realize....i didn't have this surgery for me....i did it so i could live longer. I want to see my daughter who is 9 now, i want to see her finish school, university or college, i want to see her make something with her life. i want to see her meet some nice guy and marry him if she wants to...or have kids...either way...i want to be there. i want to see her at her prom...i want to teach her to drive...i want to be there to show her and help her through life and guide her to good decisions. I didn't do this for me...i did this so her mother would be with her longer if she needs me.
These last 3 dr appointments was like getting results from a report card and i'm getting all F's...and its frustrating. So i'm going to think about how i can fix this and if i don't like who my nut is on my next appointment i just guess i will cancel because if they give me another appointment with ol whats her face i'm sure i will have to choke within the first 3 or 4 mins.

0 Comments