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10-19-07

So I made up my mind and called my PCP for a
referal for a surgeon and a sleep study!  She was
happy to help with both...I will be going to a
seminar to meet Dr Titus Duncan tomorrow! 
(saturday 10/20/07) and my sleep study is 
scheduled for 10/29/07!  I'm so excited!  I was
able to weigh at the doctors office which was a
a big thing for me because thir scale only goes to
350lbs and I was over that...as of 1Oct I was 
349lbs!  Yay! 

9-10-07

I'm not sure how much I weighed when the doctor told me that I was diabetic August 1, 2007...but I think it was about 425lbs.  The only scale that I know will weigh me is at Jenny Craig and I don't want to make excuses why I don't want to buy their food when the reality of it is...their food is too expensive and doesn't taste very good no matter how hard I tried to convince myself it did.  I believe that since that date I have lost about 30lbs and today is September 10th 2007.  They say inside every fat person is a skinny person trying to get out.  Well...my doctor saying "You are diabetic and we want to get you started on medication as soon as possible" woke my skinny girl up and she's not happy with what the fat girl did to me.  So now the skinny girl is in control and I am totally dedicated to losing ALL my excess weight.  I was a fat baby...I was a fat little girl...fat teen...and a fat adult...I've never known what it was like to be thin but I intend to find out.  I've accepted my food addiction as a reality and I'm trying to replace my food addiction with a more healthy addiction...I'm thinking exercise would be good....I get bored...I walk...I get depressed...I walk.....I get frustrated....you guessed it...Walk!  Much more constructive than drugs or alcohol or shopping! 

I have a wonderful PCP who is working with me to get documentation together and help me have all the knowledge I need to make the best decisions for me, my health, and my future. I've not gotten as far as surgeons yet because I feel as though they would want to start setting surgery dates and I'm not ready for that yet.  I want to try to lose as much as I can with eating lifestyle changes (it's not a Diet because Diets don't work) and with exercise.  I realize fully that I WILL hit a plateau where I find it very difficult to lose more weight and will start to get discouraged.  That is the time when I will contact a surgeon and start getting all of that planning done!  Plus I need to save up vacation time at work!  I'm working not only on my physical health but my mental health as well....the surgery is a tool...but one tool in a tool box doesn't build a house...so I'm gathering all the tools I can before I'm ready to start the serious construction of my new body.  Right now I'm just laying the foundation to make sure when I'm ready to contruct it....the foundation is solid.  (I like using analogies)

I have a wonderful family that is loving and supportive and losing weight with me.  I have the best roommate in the world. He speaks up as my conscience when he isn't sure mine is working like it should.  I have the sweetest most wonderful boyfriend in the whole world who is educating himself so he can he as helpful and supportive as possible. And then...on top of all of that love...and all of that support...I have access to all the wonderful people here at Obesityhelp.com who have Been there, Done that, and bought a smaller t-shirt!   This really makes me feel like I can do it this time.   

I've babbled enough for now....I'll babble some more later.