heavenlyhash
Help,Depression and Failure
Jul 20, 2011
Well it happened just the way they warned it would and just the way I feared. The weight has started to slowly creep back on, actually it is piling on at an alarming rate and I'm SCARED S******S. over the last couple of weeks/months the scale has been playing with my emotions. Up 2 lbs down 2 lbs up 3 lbs down 1lb and so on. Now it just keeps going up and up, day by day. I'm 26 months since RYN and my highest weigh was 340ish. My current weight is approx. 176.8 as of one hour ago ( who knows it could be higher by now) My lowest weight was 168.2 and my goal weight is 152-160 lbs. I am 5 ft 9 in tall ,47 yrs old and a size 14. Not good enough. I'm still considered overweight. I read about all the size 2-4 on here and wonder how they succeeded in such a short period of time. I'm a loser and not in a good way. My old habits are bouncing back, the shift work makes it hard to have any normal routine. Living in the middle of butt f**k nowhere doesn't help much either. I am a food addict and can not help myself. I'm afraid I've ruined my tool and any chance of a normal life and love. I can not fail at another weight loss venture. I can not go back to my old self. I will not live the life I did before. There are no support groups close to me that I can attend because of my shifts and there are no counsellers in our area that are familiar with WLS. I've tried regular counsellors and therapists but insurance only covers a small portion and I've had no success. Partly due to the shift work and partly because the are not familiar with gastric bypass patients. No I haven't tried the 5 day pouch test. I make it to about half way through day one and then fall off the wagon. I've tried detox cleansers, metabolic boosters, green tea extract and hydroxycut to try and shed a few pounds but of course we all know it doesn't work. If it did we wouldn't have needed the surgery. The surgery saved my life and I don't want to loose it. Help me please ................ I need to get back to basics but have lost my way and all alone.
