HrkCmk35

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Ugh, my band is so tight I can't even drink liquid. I was fine until I moved from Ohio to Kentucky about 3 months ago then I started to notice there would be days I couldn't eat anything. It's just getting worse. I'm to the point where I'm vomiting the water I drink. Bad part is, I don't have a Dr. down here yet. I signed some papers 2 weeks ago to release my records and they've not called me back. I'm going to call tomorrow to see if I can come in ASAP. I have to drive a little over 2 hours one way. I sure do miss the days of driving 15 mins. to Cleveland. Oh what fun...... :( I wonder what's wrong? At first I thought it was stress but I'm not stressed out anymore so who knows....Change in climate? Change in hormones?  Who knows....I sure hope the Dr. does if and when I get in to see him.

Today I start my optifast. I have to be on it 2 weeks prior to surgery. I got the chocolate flavor. It's not too bad if you don't smell it so maybe I will drink it through a straw next time. I shook it up with ice because I thought making it cold would help it go down better. I'm still waiting on my Cardiac clearance tho. I hope they hurry up and call me so I will know if I should stop the optifast or not. If I don't get clearance by Jan. 27th they will have to postpone my surgery and I don't want that. I've been having stupid chest pains. The Cardiologist didn't seem to concerned because he thinks it is probably anxiety and obesity. He just told me to get out there and do some walking and see what happens. I did get chest pains but they stopped as soon as I sat down so I don't think it's any cause for alarm. Shoot I'm having them right now. My ECG looked fine according to the folks at St. Vincents so it's just a waiting game.

I had my PAT done yesterday Jan. 6th. I'm all clear except I've been having a few chest pains and they want me to have cardiac clearance before the surgery. The Dr. said my EKG looked good and they don't forsee any problems but just to be on the safe side they want me checked. So I have an appt. Jan 11th to see the Cardiologist and if all goes well i will be going under the knife Feb. 1st. I'm excited and scared. I'm scared of going under. Ugh. I'll be ok, i'll be ok.

Sept. 4th was our consultation with the surgeon. It went well, we learned a lot, and are very much looking forward to this life changing event. After talking with Dr. Ben-Meir, we decided to go with the Lap-band as opposed to the Realize Band. He didn't really say which one he prefered, he just stated that some say there is less erosion risk with the Lap-band because of the way it wraps around your stomach once filled. The realize band when filled is shaped like a triangle so there are 3 stress points where as the Lap-band is more so evenly distributed. At least that is what I gathered from his infromation. Also, the port on the Lap-band is easier for them to find for the fills.

I had my sleep study the week before and just got my results today. No sleep apnea, which I'm suprised. I did have a lot of trouble sleeping so it makes me wonder how the technician was even able to get an accurate study. According to my results it took me 179 minutes to fall asleep and I slept a total of 233 minutes. I sure don't remember getting that much sleep. I must have been in a super light sleep because I remember looking at the clock on my cellphone many times and the last time I looked it was after 4am and I had to get up at 6:30am. Oh well, sure hope I still get approved for surgery. I'm sure I will since my BMI is over 50.

Now, all I have left to do is get my Upper GI and my letter of recommendation from my Dr. and then we wait to hear from the insurance co. My case worker said it was possible to be looking at having surgery in late Oct. or Nov. I'm so stoked! I'm so tired of being this way.

Ok, so we had our psych evaluation on Sept. 2. It was not a pleasant experience for me. The counselor dug up all kinds of things from my past. Hurtful things that I wanted to forget or hadn't thought about in years. Honestly, I was close to tears a few times. I really hated it. Normally I wouldn't have a problem talking about my past but he made me feel like I was on trial. I guess it was the tone in his voice and the way he fired off one question after another which made it feel like an interrogation. I mean I know they need to make sure you are of sound mind when embarking on such a life changing procedure such as Bariatric surgery, but GOOD LORD! I started to question my sanity when he was done with me. My husband talked to him first and he told me that he knew it was going to stress me out and he was right. My husband was a Marine and had to go through all this before, not to mention not much bothers him...lucky duck!

After the grueling interrogation was over, then it was on to a 370 question MMPI 2 test. I was making faces and shaking my head at the questions. I was couldn't believe some of them and wondered what it had to do with losing weight but if it has to be done....I'll do it. Here are a list of the questions we had to answer. Some of them are quite comical.

https://antipolygraph.org/cgi-bin/forums/YaBB.pl?num=1109032158

This is a very good documentary. It sheds a lot of light on why we are fat and what we can do about it. There is a segment on the gastric band. Very informative and it suggests that we are not just lazy and eat junk food all the time like so many people think. Watch and let me know what you think! 

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/takeonestep/fat/video-ch_01.html

Sept. 4th my hubby and I are going to talk to the surgeon about our surgery. I'm so excited about actually having it and losing weight, but I'm also terrified to be put under. I'm terrified that I won't be able to eat the things I enjoy. I'm terrified that I'm going to fail. Food has been such a major part of my life, it actually gives me anxiety when I think about not being able to eat the way I'm use to eating. I'm such a fast food addict/carb addict, this change that I know is coming is really scary to me. I'm trying not to think about it. I'm trying to re-program my brain. I've already been trying to cut out the sugar soda. It's soooo hard.  My mother told me that food is my drug of choice, I think she's right. I actually go through withdrawal when I don't have sugar. I get terrible headaches and feel really shaky like I'm going to faint. I know I'm going to need a lot of prayer and a lot of leaning on God and my husband. I'm so glad I don't have to go through this alone. It will be soooo much easier since we have to eat the same things. I told him we'll save a fortune since we won't be eating that much. We've also stopped smoking so we should be filthy rich in no time! LOL