Impress
11/20/06
Nov 19, 2006
I had a long, hard think about why I stay with him and why he's the only man I've ever let back into my life after a breakup. (I have a saying: "Once you take dirt out from under your fingernails, you don't put it back in.") Especially now that I have all sorts of men vying for my attention, I wondered why I allow myself to be with someone so mercurial and sometimes so downright cold and nasty. Sometimes, he's too good to be true. Sometimes, he's absolutely awful.
Sadly, after some real, deep, painful soul searching, I found the answer. In all my years of dating (I'm 42), Bill is the only one who ever made me feel genuinely beautiful. It is very sad to admit, but honest. The problem is exacerbated by the fact that he thought I was beautiful before the surgery, whereas the men I'm meeting now only see version 2.0, which makes me wonder how shallow they are. It is a vicious mind trap. They tell me I'm pretty because they want to get in my pants, not because they know my mind or soul.
I feel cursed: I finally have all the men I could desire, but so much skepticism, cynicism, and mistrust, that none of them can penetrate my perpetual question of whether they would have spurned me months ago. Worse, knowing what I could have (thanks to Bill's rarely seen good side) makes it that much more lonely. I wish I had not met Bill so that I did not have a basis of comparison, and I could accept the shallow men without question.
11/19/06
Nov 18, 2006
When you are next at the supermarket, go down the ethnic foods aisle. See if your store carries Indian foods. If so, look for something called Sharwood's Indian Puppodums.
These things are amazing. They're crackers that you put in the nukebox for 20 seconds to cook. They're light, crispy, crunchy, spicy, and very good for you.
Each cracker is about 4 inches in diameter, and one serving consists of four of these rounds. Each serving is only 80 calories, 6 grams of protein, 0 sugar, and 0 fat.
Be warned, though...they're addicting. Very, very addicting!
They're not cheap, but then again, good food isn't.
11/18/06
Nov 18, 2006
What's more, one cup of regular yogurt has about 11 to 12 grams of protein, but the same amount of TJ's Greek nonfat yogurt has a whopping 20 grams! It costs a bit more, but it's so incredibly smooth and thick that it's worth every penny.
11/12/06
Nov 12, 2006
11/09/06
Nov 09, 2006
11/08/06
Nov 07, 2006
Sometimes, men can do or say things that take your breath away. In a good way. Sure, sometimes, they're total jerks (as are women!) but once in a while, they do something that can make your heart just melt into a sopping puddle of joy.
Case in point:
Last year, I dated a man who I was crazy about. The relationship ended, but we still have intense feelings for each other. Months went by without any contact, and in the interim, I had my gastric bypass surgery.
Out of the blue, a few months after my surgery, he called me to see how I was doing. I invited him over, to see the new and improved me. It was wonderful seeing him. We caught up on everything that had transpired in the months we hadn't seen each other.
Finally, since he'd not made any mention of the physical changes in me, I motioned to my body and asked, "So, whaddaya think?"
He looked at me and said,
"You were gorgeous then. You're gorgeous now. You're just smaller."
Someone call Hollywood, because I just found THE BEST LINE IN THE WORLD.
Men, take note: That line is better than ten dozen long stemmed red roses. It is a moment I will treasure forever, and it's all mine.
P.S.--We're back together. :-)
11/07/06
Nov 07, 2006
The Power of Pretty
One of the issues I'm grappling with following my WLS is that guys who wouldn't give me the time of day a year ago, are clawing their way over each other to get my attention now.
In 2005, after my divorce came through, I started doing online dating. I signed up on a few different dating websites. I contacted a wide variety of men, never judging the book by its cover. Many of the men indicated they were not interested, for any number of reasons. In reality, they just weren’t attracted to me. Today, though, one of them wrote to me. He saw the picture of me in the red leather jacket and didn’t recognize me from a year earlier. He wrote,
Damn!!! Just Damn!!! You are quite lovely and I can sense your passion and desire to find someone who you can just be yourself. No masks. Just a person in whom you can be yourself and just relax. Let me tell you a little about myself and go from there. My name is Stan. I am 44. I am divorced (have been for the last 6 years) and have no kids (and I am fine with that at this time in my life). I work as an account receivable processor in Corona. Which helps since I live in Corona. For the past 3 years I have been attending College to get my degree in Graphic Design with Web design emphasis. I finally finished the beginning of last March. So with that being done I am ready to play. I love movies, dancing (not a great dancer but I do have fun), amusement parks, the Ren, the beach and mountains, great conversations, outdoors and quiet nights. I have been considered a romantic, kind, caring, and a good listener (I know...a man who really listens to a woman and is straight...go figure). I love to laugh (sometimes at myself). I also like to travel (Vegas, Laughlin, San Diego...), it does not matter the destination as much as the company. You can go to a romantic island and have an awful time if the company is not pleasant, on the other had a trip to the store can be awesome with the right person (don't worry...I wont limit myself to just Wal-Mart). Oh there is one thing though...I adore hugging and kissing. The idea of holding a special lady and tasting her lips is a wonderful feeling. I have been told I kiss great, but to be honest I have never kissed myself...ok an occasional kiss on the mirror from time to time but that does not count. I am just me, a simple passionate man who is seeking someone special in my life. If you would like to know more then I hope you drop me a note and we can chat. I hope to hear from you and maybe we can see what life has in store for the two of us.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. He had no knowledge of the fact that he’d ditched me a year earlier. All of a sudden, now that I’m hot, this cheeseball is playing up to me bigtime. I wrote back:
Thanks for your email but when I contacted you a year ago, you weren't interested.
Being pretty is pretty powerful stuff.
11/05/09
Nov 04, 2006
11/01/06
Nov 01, 2006
Optimum Nutrition, Double Rich Chocolate Flavor
I purchased this sample from The Vitamin Shoppe. One scoop has 120 calories and 24 grams of protein. It has a thin consistency, even when blended with ice. To me, it's not terribly rich, nor is it terribly chocolaty. It does, however, make a very good mocha when blended with double-strength decaf coffee.
Product Review
Bodytech Shaker Bottle
I purchased this from The Vitamin Shoppe. I can't always rely on having a motorized blender to make my protein shakes, and so I thought that this would be a cheap alternative, and handy for work.
I noticed by perusing the Internet, that this is one of the most common protein shaker designs out there. In fact, it seems like lots of different companies just change the logo on the side, but that otherwise the item is identical to a gazillion other protein shakers out on the market.
Well, I tried this out. It's the kind with an oval drink spout and a plastic mesh screen to help break up the lumps of protein powder.
I put in a cup of cold water, a heaping scoop of protein powder, and a couple of ice cubes. I put the plastic mesh screen back into its recessed position. I screwed on the lid and made sure the cap was firmly sealed.
I shook it up vigorously.
I spent the next four minutes cleaning chocolate protein shake off my kitchen walls, counters and cabinets. And me.
I promptly returned this piece of garbage to the Vitamin Shoppe. In all fairness, I must say that the people at the Vitamin Shoppe are very accommodating and stand behind their products. They refunded my money without hesitation.
Product Review
Blender Bottle Protein Shaker
I continued to look around for a great shaker and I finally found one. This product is really unbeatable. It's large enough to put your hand down to the bottom to clean it easily. It's not so large, however, that it doesn't fit into the drink holder in my car.
Best of all, IT DOESN'T LEAK.
It contains a free-floating, round, ball-shaped wire whisk that very effectively breaks up any lumps of protein. The ball comes out for easy cleaning.
The lid screws on very securely and the cap snaps shut with a satisfying click. Also, when you lift the cap, it stays at whatever position you move it to.
Admittedly, this shaker costs more than twice the price of the piece of crap I returned before, but then again, it's not a piece of crap. You really do get what you pay for. And in reality, I bought a set of four on sale from www.HSN.com at less than half the price that I would have spent at the manufacturer's website (www.blenderbottle.com).
My recommendation is to get the set of four from www.HSN.com so you have an extra bottle handy. Give away one or two as gifts to friends who are in your WLS support group for holiday gifts, or to friends who are trying to be more health-conscious.
I love this product. Hell, if you want, you can give your extra bottles to ME. ;->
10/29/06
Oct 28, 2006
I've found that lately, I'm far more irritable. I don't suffer fools lightly. In fact, I can't handle stupidity at all. I believe that with less opportunity to cram emotions down and self-medicate with food, emotions bubble to the surface and demand to be dealt with. I have no choice in this matter. I have not yet found a coping mechanism that allows me not to react to abject stupidity. In fact, it sets me off in a big bad way.
Case in point: I've been on an online dating service, and I am contacted daily by men who are interested in me. One of these individuals is a man here in California in an area known as the Inland Empire, about an hour and a half east of where I live. This is how the conversation went:
Idiot at Large: i am TONY nice to meet you
Ila: Nice to meet you, Tony. You've seen mine, so do you have a picture I can see, please?
Ila: thank you
Idiot at Large: u w
Ila: So tell me about your work, Tony.
Idiot at Large: work for myself in sales
Idiot at Large: live in west covina
Ila: what kind of sales?
Idiot at Large: lingerie. lol
Idiot at Large: JUST KIDDING
Idiot at Large: BUT GOOD BUSINESS
Idiot at Large: i am in packaging and equipment products
Ila: How long have you been doing that?
Idiot at Large: 11 years
Idiot at Large: love it
Ila: Good for you
Ila: What do you do for fun?
Idiot at Large: i bike, walks on the beach, dancing, movies, weekend trips
Ila: Walks on the beach??? In West Covina??? You've got to be kidding me, right? What kind of freaking moron are you? Good lord….
Idiot at Large: lol
Ila: No, I'm serious. Do you think I'm stupid? Walks on the beach in West Covina?! You'd better get started now, boy, cause you've got a helluva long walk ahead of you. *shaking head in disbelief*
Idiot at Large: lol when i have a girlfriend we go to the beach for those walks
Ila: Yeah, I'm sure.
Ila: Listen, I honestly don't see much chemistry here. I'm looking for something different. Let's just leave it at that.
