Jaieni

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 Seems like I have not really posted in forever and a day!  Because I haven't lol
But what can I say, I had a successful surgery on the 5th of August.  It wasn't too painful, just very sore, especially my right side where my port is located.  That lasted a few weeks, but it's all well now.  Had some issues with my port incision, it had fluid and was draining, they put me on antibiotics to avoid any infection.  It was doing well after the 2 weeks of antibiotics then 2 days ago it felt sore when I went to look at it saw that one corner, that keeps scabbing then coming off,  was pussing, ewww.  Called surgeons office and he got in touch with me and had me go in right away.  Before I left for him I had squeezed it (eww again) and cleaned it, seems I did a good job as when I got there and he tried it was dried out and no longer swollen, though it did hurt.  He said it looked better then last time but gave me a prescription for antibiotics, should it pus again I need to call him and then he will tell me if I should fill the prescription or not.  I'm guessing I won't need it, looks a lot better today.
As for eating, I was started on mushies the day after surgery, and I am still on them. So you can prob. guess I am very much so over them.  My nutritionist hand out included tuna in mushies, but when I asked my doc if I could progress on to some solids the other day he said I could go on to soft chicken, some lil bit of pasta, and things like tuna. Ummm, I've been doing tuna and soft fish since the get go.... my surgeon really needs to sit down with the nutritionist he uses and work on communication because he seems to follow a different plan then the one the nutritionist is used to with the other two surgeons.  Needless to say I've followed what the nutritionist gave me, as its a nice informative handout, and she explained it to me during our consult.  It's worked thus far as surgery day I was about 270 and on Monday the 31st I weighed in at 256 on the surgeons scale. I started at 303 when i met with the surgeon years ago, and was at 280 when I started liquids. So 14 lb loss since surgery, 24 lbs since pre-op diet and 47 lb loss since my initial consult with the surgeon.  I'm happy with the progress, and I know once i get a fill and get to working out more then just walking it might come a lil easier.  

What's odd to me is that I have no gone down a size, which is oh so frustrating.  Frustrating because I have had a problem with pants for years. They fit my waist but are always big in the butt, thighs and legs, so I have suffered baggy butt, crotch and thighs for many years, and now it's worse, because my waist and hips size has barely changed but the rest is seeing some weight loss.  I refuse to buy clothes or get clothes tailored, I am much too poor for that.  What I will do is sell pieces and pick up some thrift store finds when I can to tide me over for at least work.  Which brings me to another subject...

I need a job.  I have independent contract work, pays well, and I absolutely LOVE my job, it's pretty much my dream job, I love it so so much.  But, it's only a few times a month, and I'm already scheduled until February and I have not 1 workshop in December!  Merry Christmas to me huh.  I really need something steady, but that can allow me to continue this job, as I have a contract and I love it.  Ugh. Impossible I tell ya.  Surgery adds to the financial strain in that before I'd just eat whatever my mother made for the family, but now I am having to buy groceries daily for myself since I can't have what she makes. I'm using what little I make a month on food alone really.  Tough noogies for me.

This is a very disorganized and bi-polar post, apologies.  But needless to say, I am progressing well, and I am happy with my decision.  Next time I will discuss my two stuck episodes, one being today, scary times!

Hope everyone is doing fabulous!  Goodnight.

 So it's def. on for August 5th. I have to arrive at 7am and surgery is set for 9am, and I am supposed to stay there overnight and should get out around 10am.  It'll be at Mt. Sinai hospital on Madison.  Went there yesterday for some pre-op bloodwork, chest x-ray and ekg. Have one more appt next week for surgery, though I have 2 more appts this week not surgery related. I Have a sonogram for my PCOS and then a follow up with my PCP in regards to my iron levels and just a follow up from having the flu for the last 2+ weeks.  Feeling better from that but still have a sore throat, which is really weird because mom too still has a sore throat and is hoarse, and come on it's been over 2 weeks, we should be brand spankin' new by now lol
I'm excited. Anxious, I start 10 days of liquids starting Sunday, and since I was sick I had to re-schedule workshops so no income for pretty much this whole month, so I am so beyond not prepared because I can't do groceries, that's def. getting to me, but I'll figure something out.
  Saw the surgeon monday and I was really worried because when i saw my PCP the week before I weighed in at 289, and I freaked out because I had gotten down to 277, but when I was weighed in on Monday thankfully it read 279, so a weight gain of 2lbs, but the rest was from having my monthly since it was so extreme this last time.   Thank goodness I was so worried I had actually gained that weight and that surgeon wasn't gonna take me seriously, whew!

Alright, I should be sleeping, I need to try and get some cleaning done tmw, the dogs room is insanely messy and I don't want to have to deal with it when I'm trying to heal.

2 weeks to go!

 Almost a year since my last post and I learned a week ago,  on Tuesday the 7th that I was approved!
About dang time huh :)

Not sure how I feel. Been so long excitement isn't high on the list.  I feel unprepared suddenly. Which come on, I've been researching this for over 2 years now!  Not being financially ready is scary.

See surgeon on Friday, will report then.

Date is set for August 5th. Oh boy lol

 I went to see the surgeon today and it was like literally 2 minutes. He took some paperwork and told me to get more weigh ins. Then tried to tell me I gained weight, though the papers were right in front of him stating that I started at 300 lbs and I'm now 275. Which pissed me off as when i stated that he brushed me off and said I have work to do. *pissed*
Never mind that I tried making an appt with him and kept getting the run around.
Pretty over it all.

my insurance company has denied me. they want 12-24 more months of doctor supervised weightloss. I feel sick right now and defeated. 3 years have already gone down the drain.

So I received news today that I have a tentative date scheduled for September 27th! Pending insurance approval of course. Also it seems that my GI showed I had an infection so tmw. I need to pick up some meds. Hopefully they will elaborate some more. I also have to attend a meeting on the 12th, I will have to miss class for this. I'm worried because I really can't afford to miss class for a week come surgery time. What should I do? oy.

So yesterday morning I had my psych evaluation done. Went ok I suppose. She feels I would benefit from seeing a therapist 1ce a week, for at least 6 months. I'm not so sure how I feel about that. I'm not one to talk about my issues, let alone with a complete stranger. Plus I feel like bringing up past issues would just cause me to revert back rather then move foward. Not that these issues are all that serious. Just issues of when my parents first found out they had Hep c when I was younger. We've moved on, is re-visiting those times and issues really for the best? She was nice though, and she takes her job seriously, I appreciate that. I rather have them all take it seriously and make me do extensive work then jumping into it all without realization at just how intense and serious this decision is. If it came easily then I would be less likely to work as hard to achieve my goal. Well that was the last of my appts. I think all that is left now is to wait and hear from Dr.Chin about approval and setting a date if approved. Unless he wants to discuss the evaluation from Dr.Megan further. I'm nervous to see Dr.Chin again, I've put on some weight while I was away in Miami. It's hard to control what you eat when you're away from home. Thats def. something I need to work on and learn how to cope with. I hope next time I'm away I have a plan of action for my eating habits. Still no soda though, so thats good! I'm also still very limited on sweets. Though I have a new love for water ices, eek!

GI done, went ok, waiting to hear back from my surgeon and see if all is well. Have the psych appt sched. for next week on Wed., nervous but I think I'll be ok. I'll be honest and hope thats good enough. After that i guess I play the waiting game for approval. Have a mess going on with school, NYU was too pricey, so trying to find an alternative, hoping it all comes together, I really can't be out of school a semester. Ahhhh so much lol

So I had my first GI clinic appt. last friday. Went well, was just the initial appt. where they set an appt. for the procedure, which will be on the 19th, the day before I leave for vacation with my BF, we are celebrating our 1 yr dating-versary :) should be fun, hopefully mt throat wont be too soar after the procedure. Things seem to be coming together ok, I'm a little concerned that I won't get the surgery before classes start, I really can't afford missing classes, so if that's the case may need to push the surg date till when i get time off. I'm doing the Labor day challenge and must say, I am off to a bad start, not being home for 4 days really messes up my will power to behave with what I eat. But I'm jumping back on track, I refuse to fail!!

Met with Dr. Chin again today, got all my questions answered :) I'm confident in Dr. Chin and his work. It's very exciting to see it all come together, seems once the ball started rolling things have been going smoothly, of course I just jinxed myself lol So next up is the psych appt. and the GI doctor, then turning in all the paper work and seeing where that leaves me. Anyway so the news of the day is, I LOST 5 LBS! Yay me lol But yeah cutting out soda, and most sweets and making sure I walk 5 blocks a day is to thank. I learned to take the stairs more often and to get off a stop or two early on the bus or train and walk the rest. Anywho, updates coming soon!