jamlanae
Well, I first looked into WLS about 10 years ago when me and
a good friend of mine went to an informational seminar. We
decided after seeing videos of the surgery and listening to the
speakers that it was too drastic of a step and went on 10 more
years of weight watchers, fad diets, low fat diets, phen-fen, you
name it, we went on it. So, 10 years later we are heavier than
we were when we thought it was too drastic. Time to reconsider.
Basically, I have been a normal weight throughout my childhood
up until I was pregnant at age 18. After I had my baby, I kept
some bad eating habits and since I was no longer active in sports
after graduation from high school, the weight just crept on and
over the years I've gone up and up and up. My baby is now 20
years old and has a baby of her own now so I cannot continue to
blame the weight gain on my pregnancy. It's just been years of
bad choices and too much good fattening foods and too little
exercise that has me where I'm at today.
October 2005--Recently saw a friend that I used to work with at
a get-together and she looked amazing!!! I could not believe
how nice she looked and she told me she had the WLS a year
ago and it was the best thing for her. She answered alot of my
questions and after the gathering, I just could not get this
surgery off of my mind. I began to check into who her surgeon
was and expressed interest in the surgery again. Things sure
have changed from the info session I went to 10 years earlier.
It was very informative and I was immediately convinced that
this was just the drastic step that I should have taken 10 years ago.
With high blood pressure, joint problems, back pain, acid reflux,
frequent heartburn, and just a general feeling of lethargy, I
decided that it was time to take drastic measures. Of course I
was scared but it was time. The highest I've ever weighed was
240lbs about 6 years ago and after phen-fen, I got myself down
to about 200lbs. Now, here I'm on my way up again and weigh 231 lbs!
My delimna is trying to find out if I can get an approval and
a surgery date before the first of the year as my insurance is
changing and will require an out of pocket cost for me of
about $5k. So, here we go through the approval process.
November 16--Got my psych eval and all my tests out of the way
and even though I do not have an approval yet, my surgeons office
advised me to go ahead and start the liquid diet that they want
you to go on for 2 weeks before surgery. Ordered supplements
from med-diet labratories and they weren't too bad. Started the
liquid diet and did it faithfully for a week. Then came
Thanksgiving. I thought I'd have just one small meal and
then get right back on it....NOT! It was so hard to get on it,
I kept reasoning with myself that I would do liquids for breakfast
and lunch and just eat a normal dinner.
My next doc visit for another test showed I had lost 6lbs. Now I
was down to 224. Yippee! A week later, I had to go in for another
test as my EKG came back slightly abnormal and since Thanksgiving
I had gained 7 freakin pounds! I was in horror!!! This liquid diet goes
to show you as soon as you go off of it you gain your weight back
and some!
November 29, 2005---Feeling pretty down as my surgery date is
December 1 and rec'd a call from my surgeons office that my
insurance (Medica) may not pay as my plan through my employer
has special stipulations such as 6 months of a medically
supervised program with a physician and weight watchers
doesn't count. This really bums me out after I've been on this
dreaded liquid diet for 14 days and have all the happy emotions
about surgery and finally having visions of what it may be like
to be thin again. Ugh! I feel like going out and eating up some
stuff but I know that is only a temporary comfort so I will refrain
from doing that. I have a mandatory meeting tomorrow with the
nutritionist, bariatric nurses from the hospital, and pharmacists.
I don't even want to go now but will go anyway. I'm not giving up.
I will make appts with my doctor and start the 6 month medically
supervised crap and then try again. My mom was very happy as
she was not for me having the surgery anyway. AT least someone
is thrilled with the news. Thanks for listening.
November 30, 2005--Oh my GOSH!!!! It's 530pm and I was
just about to eat a piece of birthday cake for my grandson's first
bday and my surgeon called and said that my insurance company
approved the surgery. He called and spoke with the medical review
director and they reviewed my file again and I was approved.
I guess my gallbladder ultrasound showed gallstones and along
with my 12 years of high bp, back pain, acid reflux, and recent joint
problems they decided I was worth the insurance cost. Now I
have to run to the store and get that drink that makes you sit on the
toilet all night before surgery! I just cannot believe it. I cannot
even describe the emotions. My surgery is at 11am tomorrow
and here it is the night before and instead of cake I'm having this
damn liquid to make me empty my intestines. But no complaints
from me...I just cannot believe this is happening. Then Medica
called to tell me the good news and I asked for an authorization
number or confirmation number to make sure I'm not
dreaming and they gave me an authorization number.
HOly Kamoly! I can't believe it! I don't even want to
tell my mom cause now she will be upset and worried
again. But I am going to tell her because if something
would happen she would be in shock. See ya on the losing
side! Wish me luck!
December 5--well, i'm 4 days post-op and things went
very well. The day of surgery I weighed 223lbs so I did
lose some weight from the liquid diet afterall. I couldn't
believe it. I was totally expecting to weigh in the 230's.
I am in pain mostly from the incisions. The first couple
of days I was just shocked that it didn't hurt worse. I had
a hysterectomy earlier in the year and compared to that
pain this was mild so I thought it would be similar. I must
admit to feeling kind of down in the dumps right now. i
seem to only be able to get in sf popsicles, jello, and water
and having a hard time getting more than 20oz of water in
each day at that. The flintstones vitamins make me sick
and I can eat nothing else. I do realize it's only 4 days since
surgery so I'm sure in the long run things will get easier
with each day but it's kind of frustrating right now. the pain
in my stomach muscles is difficult and i hate sleeping on
my back. when i try to roll over on my side it hurts and i'm
having a terrible time sleeping. i can't wait to feel better. i
will write again when i feel better. thanks for listening.
December 23, 2005--I'm over 3 weeks post-op now and feeling
reallly good! It's almost scary that things feel so good. I've
graduated from liquids to full liquids and now I'm on soft foods
for about 3 weeks. Mainly I eat a scrambled egg with cheese
for breakfast or oatmeal or grits. lunch is usually rotisserie
chicken with a side of bleu cheese dressing to dip each small
bite into. dinner is refried beans with cheese and sour cream
or soup. it's amazing how full I am with so little food. I amaze
myself. I've got to stay away from the carbs as I want to slip
into my old eating habits. I heard another member say they
stayed away from carbs for at least a year and now find that
they don't even desire them as much. I'm going to try to do
that too. It will be difficult but in the long run it's much
better for me.
I'm still having a heck of a time getting in my protein each
day...I don't even come close and I know it's a priority and
that my hair will fall out but I just don't know why it's so
hard for me to add the powder to such small amounts of food.
when I add a whole scoop of the protein powder to 2oz of
food, the taste from the powder takes over the food taste
and makes me gag. i am trying to eat more chicken and fish
so that i get protein in from foods but i know i need to do more.
Same with the fluids, I'm getting in 20-25 oz on good days
but trying to do better. The flintstones vitamins don't bother
me anymore so I am able to take those now.
Still haven't weighed yet but I have added a couple of pants
to the "too big" box and that has felt good. My size 18's feel
pretty good on me and not tight anymore. A pair of jeans that
I wore to work on casual Fridays and usually had to unbutton
after lunch now are very loose. I have heard alot of comments
at work about how much weight I've lost. I can definately
see it in my face and I'm excited. Once I have my post-op visit,
then I will get a scale and weigh myself weekly. Until then,
it will remain a mystery for one more week. That's all for now....
Happy Holidays to all!!!!
December 31, 2005---Well, I'm 4 weeks post-op and was so
excited to finally get to the docs to weigh. I was so disappointed
though as I felt that I had lost so much weight...at least 25lbs as
everyone has been telling me how good I look--even those people
who don't know I had the surgery. So I thought if I lost 24lbs, I
would be out of the 200's and 199 for the first time in so many
years I cannot even remember. I got on the scale and weighed 207!
At first I thought--oh, she hasn't adjusted the scale yet and that must
be kilograms or something. But then when she did get the kilograms
that was like 94 and I realized the first number was my weight! I was
bummed! I had lost 16lbs after 4 weeks. I kept reading about all the
ladies on this sight who had lost 20-30lbs within the first 3 weeks
post-op and I thought I'd be one of them after 4 weeks of not weighing.
The doc told me that it was 4lbs per week which was pretty good.
He explained the other vitamins I needed and showed me how to
administer the B12 shot monthly. After he scolded me for only
getting 40oz of water in a day and not doing any exercise, I vowed
to do better. When I left, I called my husband and whined to him
that I did not weight 199 but still weighed in the 200's....207 to be
exact. He was really sweet and kind and supportive and told me
that was really good and that it would come off over time. He made
me feel alot better. He pointed out that it has taken me 6 months
to lose that much at weight watchers in the past and that for one
month, that's still really really good. He has a way of making
me feel better when I'm down. He's been very supportive from
the beginning. I also called my mom since everyone was
waiting for the big number that I'd lost and she made me feel
really good too! She was not so supportive pre-op as she was
worried about me dying or having complications...but post-op
she has been the best. She was telling me how great I've done
and assured me that it will come off over time. she reminded
me this is not an easy journey.
When we were sitting later in the evening watching television
I suddenly realized that I had originally started at 231 and with
the pre-op and post-op combined, I was now down 24lbs and
currently weighed 207. So that made me feel much better.
Hopefully I will lose 8lbs in the next month and finally be
down in the 190's range.
I did drink 60oz of fluids for the first time since surgery.
I'm going to try to do much better about getting that in.
It's hard for me but I'm going to try harder. Same with the
exercise, I really need to get moving and stop being lazy.
I need to get off my behind and do something!
Well, it's New Years eve and no plans tonight! Will just stay
home with the hubby and the dogs and chill out! Next New
Years, I'm going to get a sexy outfit and be hitting the town!!!
Happy New Year to all!!!! Peace, good health, and
prosperity for 2006!
January 9, 2006---Happy New Year everyone! I thought
I would update more of my progress as the days go by--I am
a little more than 5 weeks post-op. I got on the scale this
morning and I'm down another 4 pounds!!! That puts me
at 203 today and just around the corner from the much
desired 190's. I'm trying to be very faithful about weighing
only once a week so that I do not get discouraged.
I had to face a couple of challenging social settings where
I usually eat alot of appetizers and have a couple of high
sugary alcoholic drinks. I was able to enjoy myself, eat small
portions, avoid the alcohol and I still fit in. At first when
others were ordering beer and margueritas, I felt like ordering
one and according to my doc it's ok to try a few sips of wine
at this point. However, we were out and I was afraid of what
my reaction would be so I just ordered water. Afterwards, I
didn't feel funny or anything. I just drank my water while the
others drank their drinks.
I really am feeling good and most things that I've tried to
eat seem to go just fine without any dumping, blow outs,
or vomiting. Sometimes I will have a stomach ache but I
really am conscious of eating slowly and carefully. I do
have alot of constipation but I had alot of that before surgery.
I am still afraid of introducing new foods since the surgery
because I don't want to be sick so I've been kind of eating
the same things that I know have worked--scrambled eggs,
soups, chicken, popsicles, jello. This week though, I've
tried boneless buffalo wings, sushi, and pizza. I was afraid
the buffalo wings would be too spicey but they were fine.
I removed the seaweed from the sushi but was afraid of the
white rice but I was able to eat three pieces and it was very
good. and the pizza...I ate 1/2 of one slice and felt a bit of
a stomach ache with that for about 20 minutes and then I
was just fine.
I still have not dumped, had blow outs, or vomiting
and (knock on wood) I hope that I do not.
Technically my six weeks is this Thursday and I will be
able to eat solid foods again but I've been doing so well,
I tried some of the them a few days early.
I am still eating small portions and also much healthier
choices. I thought to myself this weekend how wonderful
the surgery has been up to this point. If this is going to be
how I live, then it's fantastic! My husband asked me tonight
if I was glad I had the surgery and asked if I missed food
and did I feel sad that I can't eat as much as I used to. I told
him honestly that I was very glad to have had the surgery
and that sometimes when something taste really good, I
wanted more but my stomach was full and I just wanted
more in my head. I told him this surgery was great because
it allowed me to stop at a small portion and not overeat.
I do not miss letting the food have so much control over me.
It's a good feeling to be in control...although sometimes my
new pouch thinks she's the boss. haha!!! (Sometimes I let
her win)
Also, I am getting my energy back. I've started exercising
on the treadmill more and getting my water and protein in
every day!
I pray for continual good health and that things keep on
improving. Thanks for listening! Until next time...
January 19, 2006--Today I am now 7 weeks post op.
The last time I weighed I was 203lbs and couldn't wait
until the next week to hopefully get below 200lbs. Well,
I got on the scale this past Monday which was the 16th.
I weighed 200.0 pounds! Ugh! So close but it wouldn't
budge. I tried to get on the scale 4 times that day and it
just would not let me meet what has been a major goal
for me for several years. The scale was being very very
stubborn. So, I've decided to get just as stubborn and
now I will not weigh until this Sunday. I was so tempted
to get on the scale every single day until I lost at least ½
a pound so i could weigh 199.5. But then I decided that
I'm not going to torture myself all week. I'll just let it
come off when it's good and damn ready because that's
obviously exactly what it's going to do. I feel like I am
losing alot slower than most but honestly, I will be fine
with it once I am out of the 200's. If it takes it longer to
come off, so be it. Just as long as it comes off.
My goal for January was to exercise at least 3x a week.
So far, I'm doing that but barely...so FEb will be a challenge
when I want to increase to 4 x a week.
I am officially wearing a size 16 pants now. I even bought
a pair of jeans that were size 16. I went shopping the other
day at TJ Maxx and immediately went to the 1X sizes and
bought 2 blouses on sale. I got home and tried them on and
realized they were too big. Then it dawned on me when a
friend pointed out to me that I never even went to look at the
x-large or large sizes but that I just assumed that I still wore
plus size tops. She was so right. I was just like a robot
programmed to go straight to the plus size womens clothes
without even considering that I've lost enough weight that
I can possibly fit my body into normal sizes again. When
you've gone to plus stores and plus sections in stores for so
many years, it's a hard habit to break I guess. That tells me
that in my mind, I have not realized that I am shrinking.
My mother gave me a ring about 10 years ago that I could
only wear on my pinky finger. She has very small fingers
and the ring is a size 7 ring. It was big on her as I think
her normal size is a 6. Anyway, it was a little loose for my
pinky but would definately not fit on any other finger. Usually
I wear a size 10 ring. I didn't want it to fall off of my pinky
so I just put it in my jewelry box for years and wished I could
wear it. It's the kind with such itricate detail that the jeweler
could not size it up that large for me to fit my fat fingers.
Well, i tried the ring on today and not only did it fit my ringer
finger, it moves around it like it has room!!! I can wear a size 7
rings and my hands are finally starting to look smaller and prettier
like my mother's instead of chubby fat hands. I may have to get
some acrylic nails to keep them pretty and polished all the time.
The little things are what really amazes me! So now it's like I
have a brand new ring!
Last week was the first time that I had an epidose where I vomited. Not sure if I dumped or just vomited but it was not good. I ate at
a mexican food the night before and it went down fine. I had 1/2
a beef taco and some spanish rice. The next day I tried the same
meal but this time with a chicken taco and immediately started to
feel like I had a huge burp that was stuck in my throat. It felt very
uncomfortable. I headed for the restroom bathroom and bent over
the stool and nothing but this awful feeling trapped burp. I stuck
my finger down once and up came my meal. The burp still felt
trapped. I did it again, and a little more came up. Finally after 4
attempts, I felt good enough to stand up, wash my face and hands,
and leave the restroom. I didn't feel good for about 30 minutes
afterwards but nothing more came up. I don't know what the
difference was between the two tacos but that was definately my
first epidsode since surgery. I've felt lethargic after some meals
but nothing like that. This lets me know I still need to be careful
during social settings.
I'm back to my normal self and been feeling fine since then and
I've been able to eat most of the solid foods that I choose without
problem. For whatever reason, chilli does not sit well with me.
I eat it and it goes down but I don't feel good afterwards so I
will leave that alone for awhile.
Well, it's getting late and past my bed time. I will post on
Sunday and hopefully be able to post that I weigh in the 190's
for the first time in many, many years! Wish me luck!
January 22, 2006--I did it!!!! I weighed in this morning at
197.5!!! I am feeling so awesome and I am thrilled that I
made it to my first major hurdle which was to finally get
out of the 200's. I know that my goal for any diet I've ever
started in the last 10-15 years was to just get below 200lbs.
It happened once with phen-fen about 10 years ago and
then I gained it all back. So, I'm on my way down the scale
and I look forward to maintaining a healthy weight and
trying my best to avoid EVER feeling the way I felt before
at a much higher weight. I have lost 34lbs since I began
this journey (6 of that pre-op) and I am now 7 weeks post-op
so I can't express how good it feels to be where I'm at right now!
It's so nice to share with all of you from OH who understand
how big an accomplishment like this is. When I tell some
of my skinny friends about being excited for being out of the
200's, they are genuinely happy for me but I do not think
they fully understand what a milestone this is like I know
those of us who are on this board understand. No matter if
you start out in the 600's and get into the 500's or go from
300s to 200's, whenever you make it through that next 100lb
barrier, it's the best feeling ever!!! So thank you all for
allowing me to have some place to share it where I know
you can relate.
February 7, 2006--I am currently 192lbs! It's really amazing
how a couple of weeks ago I was so thrilled to get below 200lbs
and now I'm right around the corner from getting completely
out of the 190's and heading toward the 180's. It's truly amazing!
I am feeling pretty good for the most part but have noticed
that certain things do not agree with me. What's weird is
sometimes that food agrees, and other times it does not.
I don't know why this is. Also, I seem to notice difficulty
digesting processed foods like all the weight watchers/lean cuisine
type meals I used to eat and store in my freezer...also boca
burgers and bean burgers...those were good when I was on
weight watchers so I figured I could still eat those now but
I can not seem to get past 3 bites of those foods and I'm in
hugging the porcelain bowl. Other than that, the majority
of the time things go down fine. It's just not consistent and
that can be frustrating.
Still, no complaints here! One of my good friends is
having the surgery on February 9. She has only 2 days
left before she will be a LOSER! I'm excited for her
and hope she has much success as well.
I still can't believe that I will soon be 180-something...and
downward from there. So far I have lost 39lbs and and 48lbs
from my heighest weight ever of 240lbs!
Thanks for listening. I'll update again soon!
February 14--2006---Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!!
Well, I am officially in the 180's...I weighed in on
Sunday at 189.5!!! I was so pleased to see that number!
In less than a month, I was thrilled that I finally got out
of the 200's and I cannot believe that I am in the 180's.
All my dieting years, I always told myself if I just could
reach the 180's, I would be satisfied. Well, here I am.
I have reached the 180's and I am about 10 weeks out
now so that means I have several more losing months to go!
I really really and truly believe that I am going to meet my
goal of 140lbs! On cloud nine folks......
until next time...
March 12--2006 Hello all! I'm pleased to report that I've
moved down to a weight of 179lbs today! I am just thrilled
with this weight loss! Seems that I'm averaging about
10lbs a month which may be slow for some but seems to
be just fine with me as long as it is coming off! I'm trying
to "pump up the volume" and get some consistency with
exercise but that is still hard for me. I am very happy with
myself that this past week I exercised for 3 days which
was my mini-goal. I hope to improve on that but first I
need to get consistent with at least 3 days of exercise.
Things have been going pretty good. I had a good bout
with constipation and rec'd some great advice from members
on this board and that has helped immensely. It lasted for
2 weeks and was so painful but I tried some "smooth move"
tea from the health store and also some fiber choice and those
two things have seemed to get me back to a more regular bowel.
I have been practicing eating smaller bites because it seemed
that I was getting sick more often. So for the last two weeks,
I did not get sick once. However, the last two days, I got sick
twice. I ate spaghetti and meatballs Friday night and it just
seems that sometimes ground beef agrees and other times it
doesn't. I really don't think I took too big of bites and I certainly
didn't overeat because I got sick so I didn't even get to finish
eating my small portion. Saturday evening I had mexican food
and I do think I ate too fast because it was tasting so good.
I was at the restaurant with my daughter and a girlfriend and
I had to excuse myself. I felt woosy as I was walking to the
bathroom and just prayed the stalls were not full. There were
only two stalls and they were both occupied. I kept playing
in my mind what my options were and finally someone came
out and I threw up as soon as I got into the bathroom stall.
Once out, it was over and that was that but I think it was due
to eating too fast. All I was able to eat was the chips n dip
appetizer and then a couple of bites of my chimichanga and
it was over. Later that night I was able to eat about a quarter
of a chimichanga. But for the most part, everything seems
to be going pretty well.
I am fighting a cold again. This is about the 2nd cold in
two months and that has me feeling down but my 15 month
old grandson is currently staying with us and he attends
daycare so anything he picks up, seems to go around everyone
in the family. The tricky part is finding cough medicines that
agree with my little pouch and don't make me sick.
Theraflu lemon hot medicine seems to give pretty good temporary
relief but you have to think about what you take now whereas
prior to surgery, you just took Nyquil, Robitussin, or
whatever worked the fastest.
Anyway, I'm thrilled to be 179lbs and look forward to my
continued loss. I will be at my goal weight of 150lbs in no
time! I'm actually starting to look past my goal and thinking
140lbs might be doable! That is so exciting to know that
I will be the same weight as in high school.
I am currently the same size as my 20 year old daughter.
That's cool!
Well, until next time.....take care and happy losing! Monek
April 7, 2006---I haven't weighed in nearly 3 weeks and my
last weigh in on March 31 was 177. I was kind of bummed
being that I had only lost 2 lbs in 3 weeks. I have been
averaging between 3 and 3.5 lbs a week so 2lbs in 3 weeks
was kind of shocking. But it's still moving down and my
clothes sizes seem to be getting smaller too. My size 14's are
actually getting looser on me so I feel I will be in 12's in
no time. In fact, I tried on a couple pair of jeans and slacks
in size 12 and could fit both if I didn't try to sit and breathe.
hahah!!! Soon they will be comfy but I was just thrilled as
peaches to be able to get them on, zipped and buttoned.
I'm throwing up less but still find some things make me
feel like I have to burp and the only way to get it right is
to throw up. It's more like once a week now than every other day.
I've been slacking on exercise and that could be
why I see the scale numbers slowing down. I'm
going to get busy again with the exercise so that
I can see the numbers moving down faster!
I've decided to weigh once or twice a month instead
of every week so hopefully next time, I will be down
a few more pounds! I would love to see the 150's by
my 40th bday which is in June.
Well, goodnite all.....
April 26, 2006---Hello there! I am pleased to be wearing
size 12's now and am able to breathe when I sit down in
them as well. They are by no means big on me but they
are very comfortable so I can see the size 10's are a reality.
Currently I weigh 172 and have lost 59lbs!!! Unbelievable
for just 5 months!!! The weight loss is slowing down but
that's 5lbs in the last three weeks so I'm very happy with that!
I hope this keeps up! It's still challenging to pass up on
foods that I love but it's worth it to feel this good! I feel
fantastic but I don't really know how to accept all the
compliments that come my way. It's a bit overwhelming and a little embarrasing.
B4 surgery I wore a size 46c bra and although I haven't
been properly measured yet, I recently bought two bras size 34b.
That's unbelievable to me!
I'm still thrilled with my decision to have the surgery
and love the health benefits that come with this and
feeling more confident in myself is also wonderful!
Vitamins, calcium, protein, and water are still challenges
for me but I try hard every day to get them all in. I'm a
work in progress and I'll keep on plugging away. Until next time...
July 25, 2006---Wow! I can't believe it's been 3 months
since my last post. Life sure gets busy when you're
having fun! First let me say that things are going so
wonderful!!!! I am blessed every day and when I think
of how my life has changed for the better, I wish I could
encourage everyone who has had this struggle to take
this road if they are at the end of their rope like I was.
I was ready to give up and resign to being fat and unhappy.
I have some business meetings coming up where I will
be meeting with the some of the same group of people
in which I will need to wear 3 different business outfits.
Normally it's pretty casual at work so I don't worry
about wearing suits or anything but for these meetings,
I will have to. Well, I was looking in my closet and
noticed 4 suits hanging in there and I thought 'where in
the heck did those come from?'.....well, I completely
forgot about the suits that I bought from a neighborhood
sale a few months ago. There was a lady that was a rep
for Marshall Fields and she is now a stay-at-home mom
and had all of these designer suits for $5 each and one
was only $2! They are very sharp, still have the tags on
from the dry cleaners, and are in great shape! They are
all a size 10 and even though I was not wearing a size
10 at the time of purchase, I thought I'd buy them anyway
just for the future in case I got down to that size! Anyway,
I tried them all on and they ALL fit and one was just
about too big!!!! They are not too big to wear now but
I just couldn't believe it! I thought I'd need to see if I
could squeeze into them and here it was I was comfortably
wearing them. After I tried the first one, I thought each
designer has different sizes so I just got lucky...but all 4
suits fit me and all 4 suits looked really really good! So
I have something to wear to each business meeting and
don't have to buy a thing.
Then I got excited and went to the TJ Maxx and tried on some
size 8 pants and they fit too!!! Not enough to be in all day and
sit down comfortably after dinner, but they fit! I didn't buy
anything but I was so thrilled. You have to understand that I
don't ever recall wearing a size 8 anything! I went from what
seems like a 6x as a little girl to a size 9/10 as a teenager and
stayed there for a few years in high school and then leveled
out at an 11/12. After my child was born it was then
plus sizes...16, 18, 20, 22, 24 and back down and up over
the years between those plus sizes. So to be wearing a
10 now and actually fitting into an 8 is incredible!! I was
celebrating my success at wearing a size 12 it seems like
only a few weeks ago! I'm so happy with the results!!!!!!
Things are definately slowing down but I'm not going to
get hung up on the scale. I feel great so that's what matters.
I weighed at the end of June and I was 157lbs. That is
down 74lbs since surgery! Amazing!!! I know at the
end of May I weighed 159 so I was a bit disappointed
that I had only lost 2 lbs in an entire month at first.
But then I decided to focus on how far I'd come and
be happy with the results overall and not just look at
that one month. I thought I'd continue losing alot for at
least a year so it was just surprising when I only lost
2 lbs in a month after my month 7. But I am very close
to goal. My personal goal was to lose 75-80lbs and hit
150lbs so I'll continue to work on that.
I'm finding that I can eat more so there are some
challenges with that. I don't want to sabotage myself and
end up in the same boat I've been sailing in for a number
of years. I still have to watch things daily and exercise as
well. I've been slacking on the exercise.
well, that's the latest. I hope everyone else is doing
great on their journey,...this is truly a gift we got!
August 25, 2006-----Hello again! Things are still
going great! Unbelievable that I now fit into a size 6!!!
I just can't believe it. Granted that's a 6 in only one
designers clothing...Jones New York...it's still a 6
nonetheless. I will be buying more and more JNY clothing. haha!
I'm handling foods alot easier and don't have too
much problem. I cannot believe how my taste
buds have changed. There are alot of things that
I don't like anymore that previously I could not
live without...so I thought. It was very difficult
for me to give up macaroni and cheese and now
I don't even care for the doughy sticky carb stuff.
That's so strange. It was definately a problem
food in the past. My absolute favorite is pizza and
I can still eat that although in the past, thick crust
was my favorite so now I settle for thin crust and
enjoy one slice and I'm full. Moderation is key
and that is what this surgery did. Gave me the
opportunity to look at normal portion sizes.
I don't know where I'll end up as far as the weight goes.
I thought I'd lose about 75lbs and then start maintaining
but it seems as if I'm losing more.
Slowly but surely adding exercise back in. I know
it's really key in keeping the weight off and staying
healthy so I will definately get back to basics in this area.
Do any of you feel like you don't want to share your
success with some of your family or friends for fear
that they will think you are bragging or full of yourself.
I know I can tell my mom anything but the same
friends who have always been on a diet with me, I
have trouble telling them all of my successes. I'm
smaller now than some of my friends who never went
on a diet or thought that they had a weight issue and
I feel like they will think I'm full of myself if I share
little small victories with them. Actually the victories
I'm talking about are huge to me but little to them.
Like the excitement you get when you realize that
you just fit in the next size down! I have been literally
melting away....the sizes keep going down. It's
great that I can write about it here on the website
because I feel you all know what I mean.
Some of my friends are genuinely thrilled but
then others I wonder if they are thinking "here
she goes again talking about the size 6 pants she just fit into."
It's not like I talk about it over and over again
but lets say I don't talk to a friend
in a month and the last time I was a size 8 and now I'm a size 6...
it's hard not to share that joy with them but you feel like they are going
to get sick of hearing about it.
Also, I do love compliments but sometimes I get sick
of people telling me how skinny I am. It's almost accusatory.
One lady at work told me I better stop losing or I will look
funny because my face will be too skinny. Come on people!
How will I be too skinny when I'm still considered "overweight"
at this point? People are so weird and can be downright rude.
Well, I'll continue to deal with them as I continue to lose and
feel better about myself. I feel like alot more job opportunities
are coming my way since I've lost weight. Also, people smile
at me more and talk to me more at work. You can tell how they
look you up and down too. Before some people would act like
you weren't even there...as if you are not human. Now it's different
and sometimes that's hard to deal with because you feel like you
were always worthy of their attention but now just because of a
few pounds they want to show it.
I feel like I want to have a vendetta against men too. I want to be
attractive to them and then turn them down like they did me when
I was overweight. Or maybe they only talked to me when I was
overweight because they thought that fat girls are weak, needy,
and need somebody. Now I want them to know that fat or thin,
I was never needy or weak....I don't know. I cannot be cruel to
people but the thoughts are there. It's like I want to say, "oh,
now you want this!" then after they are all interested, I want to
say "see ya sucker!!!" I wonder if anyone else feels like this.
I always had a secret fantasy too whenever I lost weight I would
go back to my home town and go out to the club and show all the
people who talked about me when I gained the weight after high
school. I would really show them! I couldn't wait until they saw
how good I looked now. Well, I've been back home twice since
losing the weight and each time I went out, I saw no one that mattered
in the way of anyone that ever made fun of me or made me feel low
or talked about how I gainedso much weight. I almost knew no one.
Times have changed, the same old people have moved on, and I need
to move on and take that hurt and pain that they made me feel and
channel it into energy and realize that I look and feel good for my
own self and don't have to prove it to anyone. But I'd still LOVE
to see some old boyfriend from back in the day!
Enough for now....I'll weigh again at the end of the month
and will have hopefully hit my goal of 150. If not, there's always
next month.
September 3, 2005---Hello all....I've reached a major personal goal. I got below 150lbs! I now weigh 149. It has been a long road but I'm so happy that I traveled this road. I am so truly blessed and grateful to feel the way that I do and look the way that I look. At times when I see myself in a mirror, I cannot believe that is my body staring back at me. I don't look in the mirror with so much criticism anymore. I now look back and smile at myself. It's amazing! When I was 240lbs, I dreamed of "if I could just get below 200" but ultimately thought I'd be happy at 175. But here I am 149lbs and it doesn't even seem like I had surgery.
When I got below 200lbs I bought myself a beautiful topaz ring, when I lost 50 lbs I bought myself a beautiful sapphire/ruby ring...now that I hit 150lbs, I owe myself something major. I haven't determined what that will be yet but I can't wait!
My new goal will be 140lbs....from my highest weight of 240 (before surgery) I will have lost 100lbs. That is my new personal goal and I do hope to achieve this within the next couple of months.
I'm wearing sizes 6-8 depending on the brand. I'm wearing small tops. Unbelievable! I have "wings" under my arms but I'm just learning to love myself so I am grateful to have arms. I don't know enough about the arm plastic surgery but I don't know if the long scar that I've seen in some others photos would bother me more than the wings I have now so I think I will leave them alone. The skin on my stomach is droopy but not enough to warrant a surgery. My boobs need to be folded when I put on a bra. haha! Not too bad. I went from wearing a 42C to a 34B.
One thing that bothers me is the reaction from my husband. He has been silently supportive through the surgery. Prior to surgery I asked his feelings about it and he said it was the easy way out and he wouldn't do it etc. Once I made up my mind to have the surgery, he seemed very supportive. Once I started losing the weight he didn't say much...never congratulated me with each new milestone that I happily cheered about when I went into the next size or hit another major goal. His reaction would always be that he was "concerned" and thought I was not eating enough. I always tried to reassure him that I was full and didn't need to eat more and that these were normal portions. So, lately, I've stopped sharing my little triumphs (such as going to a size 8 or realizing I could fit into a size 6) with him and instead tell my mom and girlfriends. But when I hit 149, I couldn't help but share this with him. He just looked at me and said nothing for awhile. Then he asked how much I was when I started and I told him my highest was 240 but I weighed 231 when I first had my doc appt to consider surgery and 224 the day of surgery. He exclaimed that I have lost 90lbs then since my highest. Then he asked how much more did I plan to lose. I told him another 5-10lbs would be perfect and he just shook his head in disgust.
I walked away feeling a little hurt that he didn't say something like..."geez honey! 90lbs is so awesome! you look great!" I do realize that I have to be my own cheerleader and take care of myself and make myself feel good. It still hurt that he is no longer what I consider supportive.
Other than that, my mom has been my hero, my girlfriends have all been very supportive and thanks to all of you on this site for your support. This is like free therapy!
Well, I hope everyone else is doing well while you're on your own personal journeys.
Until next time...
November 5, 2006---Hello, it's been awhile since I posted but life can get very busy. I am now 146.5 lbs. I weigh once a month and the last time I weighed at the end of September I was 146lbs. Now at the end of October I am 146.5 so I GAINED .5lbs. I'm trying to keep this in perspective and realize that I have either plateaud or am done with the losing phase as it will have been one year in December since surgery. It's still scary when you see that you've gone up---even .5lbs as you start thinking "uh, oh...the weight is going to start coming back on"....But if I look at things since August I've lost 2.5 lbs.....so it's still a loss. It's just going to come off much slower now.
I'm thrilled with the results and just want to work really hard to maintain. I do not want to even consider it an option to gain any weight back. I know that I could be exercising more and that is definately something I have to work on. I also know that I've started eating some sweets and that needs to stop. All this time I've gone without sweets and the last month or so, I feel like I have to have something sweet every day. I'm sure that's why I'm not seeing the scale moving in the right direction. I will also up the anty on more protein. Now that I've gotten under 150lbs, it's a personal goal now to get to 140lbs---plus that will put me at a total of 100lbs lost from my highest weight. So the reward I was going to give myself for reaching 150 is going to be postponed until I reach 140lbs! Hopefully that will just make me work harder----I'm going to shoot for this goal by the first of the year. Won't that be awesome! I definately have to get moving more and start eating much better.
Well, until next time. I hope you are all doing great!
December 2, 2006---Well, it's been one year and one day since my surgery. I feel wonderful!!!!! I have really exceeded all of my own expectations! Last month when I wrote I felt like I had stopped losing and was going to work really hard to get at my goal weight of 140lbs by the first of the year. I'm pleased to say that I am at goal now!!! I weighed this morning and was 139lbs!!!!!! OMG!!! That is absolutely amazing! That's a 7.5 lb loss in one month!!! This late after surgery I never expected to go down so much. I seem to average about 2-3 lbs a month lately so this was a total surprise. People at work said that I looked smaller and I told them that I'd actually gained the last time I weighed so I'm just amazed that I lost so much since last month. I never even DREAMED that I would be at this weight! 150lbs was my goal at the start of my surgery but once I got there I figured 140 would really be the best size for me and now I'm 139!!! What makes this all even extra sweet is that my one year anniversary is here and I've lost 100lbs since my highest ever weight of 240lbs! I really am on cloud nine.
I cut back on the sweets I was overdosing on and just have a few now. I think it definately helps to keep the protein going and also water. Not to mention exercise because here's definately an area that could use some improvement. I'm thinking I may rejoin Lifetime Fitness and try to get back into the routine!
Well, that's all for now....until next time.
April 9, 2007
Wow! It's been a long time since I potsed. I won't stay long but just wanted to briefly update that this still continues to be a journey and definitely something I am proud of doing and taking this step towards a healthier lifestyle. I have gained a few pounds and currently weigh 143. This is up 4 lbs from my lowest weight. I definately want to get back down to 139lbs...in fact, 135 is my latest goal. It seems like the lower I get, I keep changing my goal because I believe that if I can get this far, I can get a little farther.
I surely need to eat more protein and drink more water and stick with my vitamins and exercise to reach that goal. I have extra hangy skin that is not attractive but it's not too bad either. I look great in clothes but naked is another story. It will just have to do for now as I have no money for more surgery, no time off to spare from work, and no desire to undergo the knife again. I think it's great for those who can get their arms and extra skin tightened or cut away but for me, I just have to be happy with the weight I've lost and accept the way my body looks without clothes.
Alot has changed in the last 6 months...my husband and I split up and I moved to another state. He thinks it's because I changed after I lost weight but I know it's that I have changed in the fact that I will no longer look the other way at his cheating. I feel good about myself and consider him a friend and no longer want to be in a loveless marriage.
I know exercise needs to be a priority and slowly but surely I am working some exercise in...not as much as I need to be but I'm definately getting some time in towards some good practices.
I'll try to update more regularly as this site really helped me and if I can help anyone in anyway after reading my journey, I am thrilled.
Take care...
March 8, 2008
Nearly a year since my last post! Time sure does fly. I'm happy to see after reading my post from last year at this time that I weigh the same at 143lbs. I still desire to get below 140 as my goal would be best maintained at 135. I will strive to hit that with more of a commitment to exercise this year.
I'm finally starting to lose hair. It's breaking off, it's damaged, it's thinning. I don't like this but I believe my body is probably reacting to improper nutrients. I am going to make a doctors appt soon and check all of my levels to make sure I am getting all of my nutritional needs. I know I was lacking in protein and have recently upped the anty there; however, i find that I am allergic to certain proteins and break out and itch all over. So I will have to adapt more ways to get my protein in. I am horrible with calcium and vitamins although I do take my b12 shot religiously each month.
this year I am going to focus more on the proper nutrients for my body as well as exercise. I'm still thrilled with the surgery and am so happy to be maintaining. I had a bit of a scare where I recently went up to 148lbs but I dropped carbs/sweets and was back down to 143lbs the same week. I have found for me that I have to weigh myself more often to keep in check. I was weighing once a month but found that it's better to weigh at least once a week just to monitor.
Well, gotta run. Until next time.....
future
future
