I'm STILL still around, and 'rounder'

Sep 30, 2009

Guess the hard reality is that RNY, even though helpful, isn't a cure-all for emotional eaters.

I had RNY August, 2003.  Lost from 305 to 193.  Regained in 2005 to 209.  Dieted rigorously to 180.  Once the strict diet ended, the emotional eating returned. 

I keep gaining about 5 - 10 lbs every 6 -12 months.  I'm back up to 232 right now.  It sucks totally.  My surgeon quit the business about two years after my surgery so I don't have him to return to for a possible alternative intervention now.  I've thought about looking for another to see if someone might have an idea other than plain old fashioned dieting as I simply do not have another diet in me.  I spent the first 50 years dieting my way up to 305...can't do that again.

Feel like a failure, but no point kicking myself as it is what it is.

I'm working hard on the emotional components of life...of food and eating addiction...doing my best to learn to accept life and myself and do what I can to care for myself.  Wish there was a magic fix...thought the RNY would be...feeling a bit more realistic these days.

I try to look at it this way - if I hadn't had surgery, I am SURE I would weigh at least 335 by now.  So I'm still at least 100 lbs below where I would be.  Not much comfort though. 

Wish I didn't use food the way I do.  Perhaps someday I'll find my way out of the nightmare of compulsive eating.  God knows I keep trying. 

Best wishes to all of us who continue the struggle.

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