janis C.
My New Beginning!!
Jun 21, 2008
Hi my name is Janis and I am getting ready to have a revision from lap-band to RNY. I am scheduled for surgery tomorrow June 23, 2008. I have all the emotions running through me just like I did when I got the band but I have faith in my surgeon and I know that God will see me through this, I had the band placed in 2003 and did fairly well with it for the first year, I lost about 60 lbs but I gradually got to where I had no restriction in the band. I have had about 25 fills and I can still eat just about anything I want to. Nothing is off limits for me. It is so strange how when I eat I can feel the food go down my throat and stop but in just a few seconds it goes right through the band. My Dr. says that sometimes the band just does'nt work for everyone, so of course I am the one!!! LOL anyway he suggested taking the band out and doing the bypass so I am going for it!! I am tired of all the same things everyone else is, I just want to feel good again. I know it is just around the corner for me.
I am married to a great man, we've been together for 27 years and he is 100% behind me in doing this, my sons are also very supportive of my decision. I want to be able to do things with them that I am not able to now. Everyone here knows what I'm talking about, I love vacationing but the last few times we have gone anywhere I have dreaded it because I felt so bad. I have a couple of my best friends and we go on vacation together everyyear, this year was #13 for us it's a week to leave home, kids, husbands behind and just have fun and relax. This year for the first time I was dreading this trip, My friends are not heavy like me and I was so worried about putting a damper on our trip because of how I felt, I did'nt feel like walking on the beach or anywhere else for that matter!! I worried about fitting in the seat on the plane, I was so worried about that one that I went online and found a place that swells extenders and I bought one so that no one would know that I did'nt fit. I just could'nt ask for an extender in front of them, I just slipped it out of my purse and hooked it up then put it back as soon as we landed, Iknow it sounds crazy but desperate people do desperate things. I was so ashamed to have to do that but I could not stand the thought of asking for that extender. I have realized that this is no way to live for the rest of my life, I want to go see Mickey mouse with my grand kids some day, I want to go on cruises and now feel ashamed when I walk through a buffet line or go out in a swim suit, I just want to feel good again and have a fun filled life, My husband and I have a good life and we don't want for much, but I am so unhappy with myself, I don't even want to ride in our corvette because i feel like I am to large to fit in it comfortably, thats so sad to me!!! I want to turn heads again and not because they don't want to look at me because of my size, I want to be seen again!!!! well I could ramble on all day but I have to go and get ready for the ever wonderful prep. I'll be back soon.