Jeannie W.
9/4/06
Well...I've made my decision. I want WLS...I need WLS. My PCP has sent a referral to the surgeon she recommends. They say it can take months to get the first appointment. I check the mail everyday in hopes of getting my appt notification. Sometimes I still get nervous about all of the changes I'll need to make, but then too, those changes are why I want the surgery. I need to do something that will actually work so that I WANT to maintain the changes that made it successful in the first place. I'm at 252 now...I was 267 a few years ago. I lost a few pounds when I became a vegetarian about 6 months ago. I was hoping for more, but at least I lost something. I remember after high school when I weighed 150. I thought I was so fat. I can't imagine life that thin now. Hopfeully within the next couple of years, I won't have to imagine anymore.
9/20/06
Went to my first support group meeting last night. It was ok, but not really as informative as I had hoped for. They are considering making some changes as to how the group meets, and I think that will make it more effective. I did get interested in the lap-band last night. I had no interest in it at all until then. I really think I could eat through it, though. They say you lose about as much weight per week as you would on a really good diet...and even with the band, you have to maintain that special diet to lose the weight. If I could stick to a diet, I wouldn't need surgery. I still think I want RNY. I know you still have to eat special, but it seems to make it almost impossible to not eat right with that. That's what I need. Something I can't cheat my way through. I still just wonder what life will be like at 70. Will the surgery have any negative consequences on future health issues?
Dr. Cobean's office wanted bloodwork before my first appt, so I had that done last week. Hope that means they are scheduling me fairly soon. At the meeting last night they said it can take from 6 months to over a year from referral to surgery. Hope I'm one of the fast track ones. I'm ready today. :-)
12/31/06
Well...happy New Year. Can't believe I haven't updated. I got an info package in the mail about a month ago. My first appt with the surgeon is scheduled for 2/05. It is an all day affair with meetings with their counselor, dietitian and counselor. Hubby has to attend as well. A few things I have to do first are journal all eating for a couple of days and start an exercise program. I'm joining a gym tomorrow. My appt is scheduled with the associate of the surgeon I was reffered to. That's fine. I've never met either of them anyway.
I've spent the last few months going back and forth, but I'm excited again. I just saw pix of myself from Christmas. What an eye-opener that is!!! I don't think of myself as that fat...but the camera only adds 10 pounds.
Hopefully this will be my last NY Eve in this weight/size range!
Happy New Year!
1/18/07 Had a stress test today. No problems. Had a couple of chest pain attacks a week ago, so PCP decided it was a good idea. Said I'd need it before WLS anyway. Only 3 weeks till my surgeon consult. I'm still so worried that they won't accept me. Hope all goes well.
2/6/07
Had my first "team meeting" yesterday...a WLS class, psych eval, meeting with the dietician, and finally the surgeon's consult. It all went pretty well. I think I left more confused as to whether I should go RNY (as planned) or LB. Suegeon seems to prefer LB due to less complications. I came home and read all of my research again...and I'm still going to RNY. Psych eval was fine...have to see her again tomorrow to fill out some paperwork. Surgeon wants me to have an endoscopy first. Two reasons: I have a hiatal hernia that she needs to see before "going in", and she said since this is the last chance anyone will have to look inside of my stomach, she does this for all RNY patients to be sure there are no other problems. So...I schedule that, and should get my date for the second meeting soon.
4/9/07
Had second team meeting today. Went great. Endoscopy results were fine. Therapist and nutritionist said all is well. Now the surgeon sends the insurance the request for approval. I'm getting conflicting stories from the insurance company, so we'll see what happens. Hopefully all will go through the first time. She said surgery could be in 6-8 weeks!!! It's been a roller coaster of emotions already, so I hope the time goes quickly!!
6/12/07
Well, tomorrow's the big day. I can't believe it's really happening. There is so much that I am thankful for. In so many ways it seems like I've been in this process forever, and yet in other ways, it's been the blink of an eye. I think I'm pretty ready. I know I'm ready to be done being fat! I'm ready to care for and about me, and that's not something I usually make a priority. I am nervous also. In fact the last couple of weeks have been an emotional roller coaster. Today I was calm all day until I got home from work. Now it's all setting in more. I can't wait to lose weight though, and not fear it coming back. I know it could if I don't play by the rules, but I'm going for broke this time. It will work. I'm not going to let it not work. I can't wait to post when I'm actually losing weight. I have managed to lose about 15 pounds in the process...liquid diet, etc. So I'm already off to a good start. Well...better go fill out the FMLA paperwork and get things ready for morning. Say a prayer for me. I believe in them.
6/22/07
Well...it's been 9 days since my op, and as of this morning, I'm down 10 lbs. Can't complain about that, although...yes...I'd love for it to be even more. The puree thing is already getting old, but I'm trying to keep a variety in it. I am a vegetarian, so I can't just grind up what I make the family for dinner. I'm finding things though. There are lots of great recipes in the recipe forum! Check them out. Getting the protein in really is hard. We don't eat enough food for any of it to make much of a difference, and I can only stomach so many protein shakes a day. Oh well...this too shall pass, and I'm still on the search for the perfect protein drink. I already feel differences. I'm not constantly tired. I'm not constantly hungry. Good stuff for so early out. Went to support group 6 days post-op and really got excited answering people's questions. Someday I'd like to start a support group in my area. The closest one is nearly 45 minutes away, and it makes it challenging for people here. I know there are enough people in my neck of the woods to get one going.
9/9/07
Wow...came on here to update, and didn't realize just how long it had been since my last one! This week will make 3 months! I'm down 56 lbs since my first appt in February...43 since surgery. Some days I feel like it is painfully slow. I seem to loose for a week then stay the same for a week and stay in that pattern. I have heard from several people that at this point they are loosing about 10 lbs a month, so I guess I'm right on track. Now if I could get to the gym...I'd be all set. I'm going to scope out another one tomorrow.
I've had so many WOW moments already! My back, ankles and knees don't hurt everytime I stand up anymore! I have no desire to stand in front of the pantry and eat everything in sight! I was wearing a 26/28 pre-op. I'm now wearing 18-20 pants and 16-18 tops! That's a pretty big change for 3 months, I'd say! My 5 year old told me the other day that Mommy's not as big as she used to be. My 16 year old tells me all the time how good I'm doing. My husband continues to be my biggest cheerleader.
I had a super experience this week. My company had the bi-monthly GM meeting. It was the first time in two months that I'd seen most of the people there, and the first time since surgery for some. I have a new nickname...skinny! Not that I really am, but I've NEVER been called that in my whole life. I told one person that I still weigh 202 and she didn't believe me! When I told her I still wanted to loose another 65 lbs or so she said I'd be a twig if I did. It was wonderful! My boss was funny too. He told me I looked amazing and that he didn't even know if he was allowed to tell me how good I looked. One woman said she was looking for me, and someone else had to point me out because she didn't recognize me!!!
I have my 3 month check up tomorrow. I'm actually excited about it. I know I'll get in trouble for not exercising, but I have SO many questions I want answers to. I'm having a challenge finding things to eat...and I want the nut's advice. Being a vegetarian doesn't make it easy. I'm so lax on protein, that I need to make every bite count. I'm sure she can give me some good ideas.
I'm flying to FL in 3 weeks for my uncle's wedding. I'm so excited that not only will the seatbelt fit, but I won't even have to hold my breath to get it on!!! And...the person I sit next to won't be offended that my bod is extending into their space and I need the armrest up. I need to go shopping for an outfit for the wedding, but want to wait until the last minute so I get something that really fits well. My uncle and his fiance both had RNY about 2 years ago and were so instrumental in helping me through mine. I'm so excited to show them how I'm doing! It will be the first time I've seen this part of the family, so I'm hoping for some more chin dropping!
Well, it's only been 3 months and I still have a long way to go and a lot to learn, but from my journey so far I would encourage anyone to do this. (I'm working on my sister now, and a friend from church is having her dr send in a referral!) In fact, if I had to have it done again to loose the next 50 lbs, I'd jump on the table right now.
1/20/08
Well...I don't mean to not update...really I don't! What a journey it has been. The last few months have been filled with my husband having multiple health issues of his own, a new job promotion, and most recently a car accident. It's been a tad stressful. The good news is I'm down over 90 pounds!! It seems to vary day to day right now...in a bit of a stall. With the stress of the new job and the car accident, not to mention the concussion and such from the accident I guess I'm ok with it. Actually it stresses me out that I'm not loosing right now, but everyone promises me that it will start again soon.
I can't tell you how good it feels. Today my aunt and uncle who are both post RNY were over. I got out a pair of my old pants and wore them. I had both legs in one of the pant legs. I still can't believe I was SO big that I could do that today. I'm still not a "small" girl by any means! It is just amazing. In my job, we talk a lot about reading other's body language. I often wonder now if people think that I'm closed off because I often stand with my arms wrapped around myself. Actually...it just feels SO great to be able to do it and not have my arms stick out past my bust! I love feeling that I actually have a waist line now, and my arms just seem to naturely be drawn there!
There's enough room in the recliner now for my son to sit in it with me, beside me mind you, and we're not squished! I don't snore anymore. I don't wonder if I'll be the biggest one in the room anymore. I don't worry if I'll fit in the plane seat, the toilet stall, etc. They're all feelings that may sound silly, but they really make you feel good. I want to lose another 20-30 lbs, and when I tell people that they say I'm already getting too skinny and I should be careful. I'm a 12/14...I don't think I'm going to waste away over another 30 lbs. It does feel good, though, when people say that!!
It's not all easy...don't be fooled. The further out I get, the more I find I can eat, which means the more I'm tempted to try. I wish I hadn't discovered that I can now eat a handful of potato chips!! Sometimes I can't say no, even though I know I should resist. There are times like now when I don't lose (even gain a couple of pounds) when I get worried that I'm finished and I'll never reach goal. As much as those thoughts scare me, and worry me, the truth is that even if I didn't lose another pound I'm 90+ pounds lighter than before my surgery, and that much healthier. I don't worry about diabetes striking me like it has most of my family, and I've maybe even beat the heart disease that my family is plagued with. Bottom line is that even for all of the times that I get down on myself for being in a stall, for not exercising, for whatever, I'm so much better off now than before. I would still do it all again if I had to.
2/1/08
OK...this is late...I'm SO busy in my new job that I've hardly been here. I had my 6 month (about 6 weeks late) check up with the nut about a week and a half ago. At that point, I had lost 90 pounds and wanted to loose another 30. The nut "set me straight". She insists that I should loose no more than another 15. When I explained why I had picked the goal I had (I wanted a "normal" BMI), she told me no way. She explained to me that the BMI is not a perfect health measurement since it does not take body shape and frame into consideration. I told her I thought I'd be happy if I could just be a size 10. I've NEVER been a ten. The smallest I can remember being is a 12. She agreed that I could strive for that. My 14 pants are too big now (but of course the 12s are still too small!). However, I bought a sweater yesterday that was an 8/10 on a whim since my 12/14 sweaters are getting too big. It fit!!! I've NEVER worn that size!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still can't believe it! Now if I could just loose the last 15 lbs that are clinging to my hips, thighs and butt, I'd be all set!
You have no idea how psyched I am to have come this far this quickly! (ok...maybe you do!) I am so excited right now. If you're struggling right now, hang in there! I promise you that a couple of short months ago I never thought I'd be here! I knew I'd be one of the few that it didn't work for. if you stick to it, it will happen for you!!! Trust me, I've stumbled plenty, and had plenty of days I just knew I'd be a failure. Now I'm only 3 lbs from loosing 100 lbs!!! I can already stand in one leg of my old pants! This is amazing, and I don't know how to explain how excited I am. Now instead of avoiding mirrors, I actually seek them out. I love to wear sweaters that fit, versus the ones I used to love that came down past my hips and butt and hid things. Now I'm proud of my curves, and love to show em off! My body's far from perfect (elephant skin thighs), but I have to say I look pretty darn good in clothes!
This thing really does work, if you work it. I've had plenty of days that I haven't eaten "right". There have been times I've decided to have something that wasn't the best idea (a glass of wine for example), but they've been concious decisions that I've made. I can honestly say that I can stop myself from eating now even when the constant urge is there from stress or something. I never could have done that before. Now, if I decide to have a glass of wine, or a special dinner that isn't the best choice, I make the decision mindfully, being careful to "make up for it" in my choices the rest of the day. Before I would have eaten whatever I wanted to, paid no attention to portion sizes of fat content. Now I can have an incredible dinner, eat till I'm full, call it good, and not feel deprived. It's amazing.
3/29/08
Well...I'm down over 100 lbs now. I'm at 103 today. I've been as high as 108, but I was sick for a week and basically didn't eat. I feel so much better. It really is amazing how this changes your whole life. I took my Mom to see family yesterday. Saw several of my Great-Aunts that I haven't seen since my surgery. One of them didn't even know who I was. We had to tell her. It was really funny!! I wore a size 10 dress for Easter. I've never ever owned a size 10 anything before. It was SO cool. I'm wearing ladies' medium blouses now. Even in high school, I wore a large, so this is new territory for me. I still can't believe it every time I go to buy clothes.
On the rough side, it's getting easier to cheat. I can't always keep my hand out of the chips. I keep trying to tell myself that at least I can stop at just a couple and not eat the whole bag, but it's scary too. Now I worry that I won't keep up the changes that I've made and that I'll slip into old habits. There are SO many people who do so well in the first year then put a lot back on. Now I worry that I'll be one of them. I'd rather face that fear than the old fear of never being a normal weight, though.
