jazzluvr4lyfe
I have batteled obesity all my life, with the exception of a period when I lost my Father 43 my age now, aunty 47, paternal grandmother 63, and my closet cousin whom was only 23 years old at that time. All in a short period of time I was young and confused about what was going on, and how could life be so difficult. I found it very difficult to eat, that lasted for a year although I reached a weight goal I've always wanted. The flipside was the fact that I lost my loved ones and it felt as though the worlds was crumbling down around me. everyone though I was at my best when really it was the so so hard to cope. I then begin eating and eating and eating by then I figured out if I exercised I could until my heart was content, flipside I was overeating like crazy looked like an athlete yet I was still miserable and full of guilt because I knew it was'nt healthy.at 170 I appeared to be in excellent shape. I wasn't.
In 1999 I injured my lumbar spine misdiagnosed 1 year L5-S1 disc dessicated and compressed my thecal Sac and left side nerve damage I was still sad and angry because life seemed so unfair. Thirty days to the date of that spine surgery 03/30/00 I was happy to begin physical therapy. feeling great about moving forward from my sadness, anger and pain. I enthusiastically made it to physical therapy ready to
become active and return to my job and move forward. As my daughter (4yrs old)sat across from the physical therapy table(bed) I was on hoping to have a really good deep tissue massage the table malfunctioned somehow hyperextending my neck ( cervical) spine and I cried out in pain and my daughter screamed what are you doing to my mommy. we were swiftly whisked away from the physical therapy dept.
in a wheelchair upstairs to emergency.( back elevators) I was given a muscle relaxer injection and waited for my ex to pick up up to go home. I was told for 2 years I was ok the pain in my neck was stress I suufer tremendous pain and discomfort I moved to be closer to my family in the bay area and located an honest neurosurgeon, with my families support I had an MRI done and discovered the disc was compressing my spinal cord I remember looking up at the MRI on the lighted board because my mother gasped, I could see that my spinal cord was displaced I immediately why it was almost impossible to sleep there was no comfortable postion to lie for good sleep which goes back to why I spent so many sleepless night crying and eating myself into the shape I am now. Why me was my motto,so as long as I felt soory for my self and did nothing I was sad and miserable, tire discusted with myself and angry when i looked in the mirror. I looked at dying or moving on faith and trying to help others and being optimistic and blessings poured in I began to ask That I can learn what it is I am to learn from all of my experiences and life began to change. I was sent to a doctor in SF whom straight out said you are too big to have carried allthis weight with the condition of your spine, someone in the office oveheard her and sad I know an excellent doctor in Modesto whom can help you. I cried of embarrassment and optimism that maybe there was help to get me out of this vicious cycle. I called the number I was given before I was out of the parking garage it cut off, I called again . I received an appt for the informational seminar at the education center, I was elated. there is help for me.
I visited Dr Coirins office took the test Passed... completed,welll. you know the routine, nutritionist, psychological exam here I am!!!!!
surgery date March 2,2007 although it has been a long journey I have learned so much I am spiritually stronger with so much more to learn, I have met many people like me ... I am not alone in this struggle.
I have a chance to be me again I feel like I'm seeing a stranger when I look in the mirror. I have a 26 yr old son whom is going to be married soon.
a wonderful 10 year old daughter with a heart of gold and loves school.
I have three beautiful foster children with the prettiest freckles whom motivate me and challenge me every single day and I love them dearly. when you help others you're not so lost in youself.. sometimes I forget the pain. I believe I have some work to do and the surgery is a tool that will enable me be as healthy as possible , loose weight, increase energy and alleviate pain. allthis weight is pullin on my spinr whenevr I satand up!!!!!!!
I am happy through it all I am humbled by all of the wonderful people whom share so openly their lives and experiences whichs communicate to me everything is going to be fine!
Thank you OH for this forum and all of you whom are in it. ans especially Dr Coirin and his office for working hard advocating for me tp get the authorization I needed to get this surgery.
