OMG!!!

Feb 05, 2010

Okay I have totally flipped out and lost it - I gained two count them 2 pounds! How in the hell do you gain two pounds when you are only 7 months post op?! I guess you have to be something stupid and eat stuff you shouldn't. Lately I have felt so out of control with my eating. I want to eat things I shouldn't and instead of behaving I do it. And then I keep eating. Yesterday I ate all fricken day long. I wasn't hungry other than in my own damn head. I thought I had this head thing beat - I guess that was the entire problem I THOUGHT. That is what I get for thinking. I have to get back into it. I walk with little Evie during the day but ever since I got hurt falling off the Wii balance board I haven't wanted to get back to it. So lets waste $450.00 because you tripped off the board - oh not to mention lets not keep losing weight. So just give up because you are an ass and fell. Its time to pick myself back up by the scruff of my neck and get back to the basics of losing weight. Protein Protein Protein. And stop letting people influence what I am doing, eating or feeling. I know better! I'm happy when I am losing so lets be happy and knock off the bad crap. I don't feel happy when I eat - actually I feel unhappy, guilty and usually depressed so why do I do it? This really isn't as easy as you would think. Really this addiction has to be one of the worst - that probably would sound bad to someone who was an alcoholic but they can avoid alcohol. I simply cannot avoid food - I have to face it to live. It sucks - I just want to be skinny!

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