My WLJ and me

Nov 18, 2010

Well where do I start?  Last Dec 2009 I lost my sister on christmas day and was a really sad time for me so I could not sleep and felt just awful so I went to the dr got on the scale and got even more depressed I was 310lbs OUCH.......  I talked to my dr and we decided that Gastric Bypass was a path I wanted to start and so I did.  I also started to diet on myown and when it was time for my surgery I had lost over 80lbs but gained about 20lbs back it was up and down for me.  I Had my surgery on July 19th a very happy day for me.  I did not have any problums or anything all went great loved my Dr and still do he was great.  I had lost a about 50lbs at 6 weeks and was doing really good till one night at dinner I felt like something got stuck in my chest and was really sick to my stomach.... As the evening went on I got more and more sick and was throwing up and hurting really bad.  Well by 2am I was in the ambulance on my way to the hospital in such pain I thought and wished I would die really.  Well got to the hospital and found out that my stomach and bowl had perferated due to one of the medications I was taking it caused me not to heal right and so all my stitches came apart and my stomach and bowl were leaking.  OH MAN WHAT A PAIN.... I hurt really bad.  They did Emergency sugery to repair the leak and clean all my other insides because it was like having acid dumped inside my body oh PAIN.... I spend two weeks in the hospital and when I finaly got to go home they put me on bed rest oh suck.   Then I had two spots on my incision that would not heal up and caused me to have a nurse come in twice a day to pack the incision with this shoe lace looking stuff.  OH OUCH that hurt also.  Man things were going so wrong WHY WHY WHY.... Then just when I was starting to feel better guess what the pain and throwing up started all over again.  I just cried because I was scared it was happening all over again and I was never going to heal up and get better.  Went back to the hospital and found out I have a very large ulcer and my Gullbladder is not working now it has taken a dump on me also.  OH MAN WHY.... I know you should never ask WHY just do what you need to and get better right.  Well 8 days later after the pain was under control they let me go home to heal.  Now I have to figure out what to do and what is going to happen.  So now I have to let the Ulcer heal up and then we will see how it goes for having my GB removed.  OH great another surgery not excited about it at all.  I am  on tons of pain meds every day just to keep the pain so I can deal with it.  I dont eat much still pretty much live on sweetpotatos, yougert, and protien drinks.  When will I be able to eat food again I really am starting to miss it.  I never really ate alot just bad choices now I really miss food.  God willing I will have a good Thanksgiving and Christmas as good as can be and go from there.  I have tons of support at home but it is getting hard for my family as well because I feel sick to mmy stomach all the time and never feel like eating so cooking is also very hard for me.  When you have to make foodfor the family to eat every night and you can not eat it gets harder and harder.  I get upset with everybody because I watch them eat way to much, make bad choices after I have taken the time to make a good meal they add Butter, salt, sugar ect and it kills me.  I want them to eat good so they dont end up like me.  I hate being fat and hurting my back and knees all the time.  Well lets see how the holiday season goes and see if I can not heal up enogh to enjoy myself. 

I hope everybody out there has a great season and can stay on diet and feel great about yourself. 
 Jeannie

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