JENDARROW

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

WELL, I HAVE LOST 12 POUNDS SINCE RE-VAMPING AND MAKING NEW CHOICES....AND SO IT IS GOING WELL. SLOW BUT WELL SO I AM HAPPY. 
I GUESS I NEVER REALISED HOW DIFFERENT 12 POUNDS CAN MAKE YOU FEEL. I MEAN, WHEN I WAS 340 POUNDS, LOOSING 12 POUNDS, YOU COULDNT TELL I HAD LOST ANYTHING...BUT NOW, LIKE TODAY, PEOPLE THAT I SEE SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK ARE GOING "GIRL YOU HAVE LOST WEIGHT !" ....AND I AM AMAZED ! I CAN TELL IN SOME WAYS ( OTHER THAN THE SCALE OF COURSE) BUT IN THINGS LIKE MY STOMACH, ETC BUT NOT SO MUCH IN THE CLOTHES....SO THIS IS COOL.  YOU DONT REALISE WHAT A DIFFERENCE IT MAKES GOING FROM HEARING ALL THE TIME WHEN YOU FIRST HAVE WLS "DANG, YOU ARE LOOSING, DANG YOU ARE LOOKING GOOD, ETC ETC..." BUT THOSE WORDS, SIMPLE AS THEY SEEM REALLY DO KEEP YOU ON TRACK AND GOING STRONG...WHAT IS FUNNY IS I REMEMBER A TIME WHEN IT ALMOST GOT TO THE POINT OF MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN SOMEONE WOULD SAY SOMETHING ABOUT ME LOOSING...AND NOW, HERE I AM NEEDING TO HEAR IT ....STRANGE HUH ? 
ANYWAYS, WHAT I AM DOING IS NOT SNACKING. I GOT TO BEING OLD JEN IN SNACKING ALL DAY LONG, LITERALLY...WHETHER ON KING SIZE HERSHEYS WITH ALMONDS, TO JUST CRACKERS AND SUCH.....NO GOOD.....I WOULD MAKE MYSELF DUMP, OF COURSE AND THEN WELL RIGHT AT IT AGAIN. SO NOW, I AM EATING BREAKFAST( I BRING TO WORK WITH ME ) AT ABOUT 9 AM ( NORMAL BREAKFAST IS A SMUCKERS PBJ) , THEN LUNCH, LEFTOVERS BUT A CONTROLLED PORTION BUT PLENTY, AND THEN DINNER....I DO EAT POTATOES, BREAD, ETC....I EAT WHAT I WANT...BUT  I AM ONCE AGAIN LEARNING THAT I HAVE TO BE IN CONTROL. 

IS IT HARD ? YES ! 

AM I ALWAYS GOING TO BE ADDICTED AND LOVE FOOD ? YES !
BUT I HAD THIS SURGERY TO CHANGE MY LIFE, I AM NOT GOING TO RUIN THAT CHANCE NOW.....SO HERE I BE...IN ALL MY GLORY....BUT YES, I AM BACK UNDER 200 POUNDS...I AM AT 195 AND HOPING TO REPORT NEXT WEEK THAT I HAVE MADE IT UNDER THAT SOON TOO !

KEEP ON GOING GANG. WE ALL DESERVE TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT OURSELVES !
            

losing weight is hard...I think I forgot that part during all the wonderful, fast pace loosing days of wls....and well, gaining is EASY !!! But, I have officially made it under 200 pounds, even if by the hair of my chiny chin chin.....lol but it gives me the hope I need to continue onward...I am at 198 today, 9/25/07 and my first goal is 190, then 180 and then 170......then I will work from there... I had bounded up to 206 and flucuated few pounds back and forth, but I decided last monday, enough was enough and I have to do this for ME ! This is what I have changed:
I do not snack at work during the day AT ALL ...I had gotten where I had crackers, candy (yes chocolate) in my desk and would snack all day, literally and bam, before you know it , it was a habit that I was out of control of.  I am drinking tea all day, plain, extra ice nothing else and then eating breakfast ( normal days: a smuckers uncrustable (pbj) and lunch: walk 1/2 mile most days, then just share something with my co-worker., dinner, whatever I want to eat, but conservative on heavy fats/carbs....) yes, I still eat potatoes, I love them, and bread....but I just try to moderate the amounts, etc) I am trying to stick to at least 1000 calories or less per day....sometimes I do go over but not overboard. I am learning that everything is ok in moderation ...something I wish I would have learned and realised at the begining of this wls journey. My thinking is this....It is easy to get so consumed in the rapid loss, that you can say all day long you will loose, etc and you know what you have to do but I am living proof that yes you can do this, but yes it still takes work...some are luckier than others in this dept, some never gain it back and can eat what they wish but well, not me....but that is ok , I can do this...and I never ever will go back to 340 pounds, if my life depends on it !
    

well, it is still a daily struggle and I am sticking to it...most days. I do slip up, eat junk I know I shouldnt and so far I have gotten to 201. I am working on a mini goal of 190 just to be under that freaking 200 mark that I worked so hard to get past...so here I go again. I have been doing much better and have splurged a time or two on a soda but not often and sticking to the unsweetened tea in the mornings does seem to help. I do think one thing that I realised today was that I am sipping during meals and not sticking to the nothing to drink 30 min before or after lunch. I am starting tomorrow on that.  Just unconsiously I have done this and not sure what made me think today, hmmmm, maybe that is also part of my problem...so well see. I have thought about going on some appetite surpressants but honestly I just almost cry when I think of that, cause I thought I would never have to do that ...but right now I am trying to get on track and stay there all on my own. I have come way to far and loosing  40 pounds compared to having to need to loose 180 plus ( like before) there is alot of difference. this goal is obtainable. I know that. 
I also thought about something else. I think that once everyone got used to the "new" me and the compliments that I swore I hated back in the day, quit coming. it was easy to just stop and say ok, this is where it ends now, I am done. well I am far from done...I just have to remind my self and pick up the pieces and go for it...will it be easy ? nope, will I mess up and eat things I know better ? yep....of course...but will I get this done...yes with one day at a time I know that I can !! Now I just have to convince myself of that !!! 
until then,,,,best of luck to those in my shoes....hang in there, dont beat yourself up too bad...put your big girl panties on and just deal with it...just like I am trying to do !!! 
                

WELL, IT WAS VERY HARD FOR ME TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I WAS GAINING WEIGHT AND WAS SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL ONCE AGAIN...BUT HERE I AM AND PUTTING IT IN BLACK AND WHITE FOR ALL TO SEE. MAYBE IT WILL HELP SOMEONE ELSE, SOMEHOW....
I GOT AND STUCK TO ABOUT 178-188 AND JUST KINDA WENT BACK AND FORTH FOR A VERY LONG TIME. THE LOWEST I GOT WAS ABOUT 160 BUT THAT WAS SHORT LIVED REALLY.  ANYWAYS, I STARTED JUST EATING M & M'S ON A DAILY BASIS AND DRINKING SONIC SODAS AND IT JUST BECAME A HABIT ALL OVER AGAIN....I KNEW IT WAS NOT WORKING, AS I WAS SNACKING ALL DAY, NOT EVER REALLY EATING ANY MEALS, ETC. I STILL CANT EAT ALOT AT ALL HOWEVER I CAN SURE SNACK ! ALSO DRINKING WITH MEALS..THAT REALLY DOES HINDER THINGS !
ANYWAYS, I GOT UP TO 208 AND SAID OH HELL NO ! I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING AND QUICK. IN A WEEK AND FEW DAYS  I HAVE LOST 6 POUNDS, WHICH I AM THRILLED OVER SO I AM NOW 202....BUT MY PERSONAL MINI GOAL NOW IS 190, THEN 175....MY FINAL GOAL AT THIS POINT IS 160....HOWEVER WELL DEAL WITH THAT WHEN I GET THERE. FOR ME, I AM TAKING ONE DAY AT A TIME. NO SODAS, NO CANDY...AND SO FAR SO GOOD !!! WATER,TEA AND MORE WATER AND REAL FOOD WHEN I EAT !