Mood Swings...What is going on?

Dec 07, 2012

I am usually the "friendly" one in the crowd. I was when I was 265lbs, as I am now, outgoing and fun loving...

Here is the trouble: Outwardly I am still smiling (however fake I feel, and I am sure it looks forced.) but inside I am screaming. I’m not enthusiastic about anything and to make matters worse, I can’t figure out why. I would like to say it has something to do with my mentality, but nothing has changed as far as circumstance. My weight is fine. I love my job. I just can’t get out of this mood. 

Here is an example: I find myself making sarcastic snide comments when this over chipper health and safety chick passes me at work. Even my best friend says “give the girl a chance, she is nice.” I can’t STAND her…I tried going to lunch with her just to see if there was something I could connect with, but she just rubs me WRONG. Under normal circumstances, I could pretend along with the best of them…but I can’t anymore. 

My other friend (Whom I have mentioned in other blogs, he was very supportive during the beginning months of my journey…) has suddenly disappeared. Don’t get me wrong, I still work with him, I just never see him. Not sure what happened there either…I’m sure I’m keeping my negativity pretty well buried.

 Our Christmas party is in a week. I have my tickets. I have my dress and my shoes. My appointments are all made for my hair, make-up and nails. I just can’t find my enthusiasm…I hope like hell it comes back, and soon.

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