Jessica A.

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

So... next phase? Plastics! I'm waiting for Harvard Pilgrim to respond to my panniculectomy claim. The nurse that took my photos said she'd be "shocked" if they denied me. Really trying to have faith here - I mean, she does this all day, right? She should know. But you never know what insurance will do.

Also saving up like crazy to self-pay BA. I feel so unbalanced!

Tomorrow I have a consult at MGH with Dr. Amy Colwell, bright and early at 8AM. I've seen some of her work and I know I'll be in good hands.

I'm 150lbs. I'm a size 10. I'm a size 8 on a good day! I still want to pinch myself, and I still can't believe I really did it. I've achieved more than I dared dream was possible. I'm healthy and strong and happy and for the first time in my life I'm happy to catch sight of myself in a store window.

I am not, however, as thrilled with what I see in the bathroom mirror at home. Next hurdle for me is definitely a tummy tuck, loose skin removal, and breast implants. Sometimes I get discouraged and depressed - will my body ever be "normal?" 

I have no regrets about the gastric bypass and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. And for that, I am forever grateful.

I'm feeling pretty good! I am emotionally struggling with the food and eating, but physically I feel good. I finally got clearance to go back to my gym routine so I'm looking forward to that. I'm down about 34 pounds, which I'm satisfied with. Shopping has become a lot more fun! I seem to be pretty solidly in 18/20 territory on the bottoms, and 14/16 in tops. I can't wait to take off a few more pounds and finally slam the door on Avenue and Lane Bryant. I finally, finally fit into jeans at Old Navy again! Granted they are a size 20 but hey - at least I can buy them in the actual store and am not relegated to online shopping anymore.
Now if only my belly would start shrinking, I'd be in good shape...

I'm home, alive and mostly well! I had my surgery eight days ago, and I'm down 10 lbs. I'm sore, I'm tired, and I'm feeling a bit smothered by my mother's ministrations. I'm feeling a little better with each passing day and I guess that's all I can hope for. I am not having trouble getting clear liquids in, but I'm reaching my limit of pudding and yogurt. Liquid calcium was killing me and I couldn't find any chewables, so my sister brought me a pill crusher and now I sprinkle a fine calcium powder over my mouthfuls of   tomato soup and it seems to be going down well. 

I'm excited to be on this journey. I've only had one real meltdown so far, which I guess is to be expected. I graduate to soft foods on Friday, which is exciting. I'm interested to see how I do on eggs and cottage cheese. I'm a little afraid to eat for real, which I did not expect. I guess I'm afraid of dumping, or things getting stuck. I've been reading other people's blogs for strength and inspiration. I can't believe I really did this! Now I'm just going to spend the rest of my time off of work relaxing and focusing on me for a change. Can I do it and not go crazy?

Things have been moving at lightning speed around here. I am having RNY on Tuesday May 13th. Um, that's only 3 months since I started seriously considering the surgery in the first place! It might be too fast for some people, but that is pretty much how I make the big decisions. I make up my mind and dive right in. When I had my breast reduction in 2001 it was the same way. 

This all transpired because I was calling the schedulers office to complain that the woman I had been dealing with hadn't returned any of my messages for weeks. Lo and behold, she no longer worked at the clinic! So I was transferred to the other scheduler, who represented my dream surgeon. The surgeon I didn't think I stood a chance of getting because she is so booked up. Well, it turned out that the call immediately before mine had been someone cancelling her surgery with Dr. Pratt. And guess who was there to snatch up that surgery date? If she had wanted to operate that afternoon I would have said, "What time should I be there?" Dr. Pratt is so amazing, I am so blessed and lucky to have the opportunity to be under her care. 

I went through the whirlwind of pre-op testing, poking, and prodding. And now here I am, 3 days before the surgery, trying to get my house in order so I won't have to deal with it when I come home. I think I'm feeling every emotion I have access to... excitement, fear, anxiety, happiness, chills and butterflies. I want this so much...and I'm nervous. I trust Dr. Pratt completely...and yet I have the nagging sense that the surgery "won't work" for me, which I know is ridiculous. I have dreamed about having this tool to work with, and I am going to use it to its full extent. It's like I've been dieting by hand, and now I'll be losing weight using a power drill. Or something - that was a clumsy methaphor!! 

I keep looking at everyone else's profiles and seeing how thrilled they are with the results, and I can't wait to be there with them. I've been doing all my laundry and thinking about how I won't even be wearing some of this stuff ever again! Maybe I should sell stuff on ebay...Hmm. 

So that's where I am right now. Lots going on even if I don't update as much as I'd like!

I started a new job last November, and one of the perks is a free membership to a gym. So, 3 months after I started, I finally got my butt in gear and made my maiden voyage over there tonight after work. Did I mention that the club is the building next door to my office? Yeah. I've been a tad unmotivated. But today my cubemate and I both dutifully packed our gym bags and went over as soon as the clock struck 5. It was her idea, actually. She's getting married this fall and wants to get in shape.

I always feel so good after I work out that it makes me wonder why I'm usually so lazy and procrastinate-y about going. I love the accomplished feeling I get walking out into the cold evening air, knowing that I actually got out there and moved my body. Since it's been so long since I've worked out, I limited myself to 30 minutes tonight. I spent them on the treadmill, doing a run/walk up an incline. I burned 300 calories, which is pretty good. Once I get some stamina back I'll be hitting the elliptical, which I love. I'd buy one for my house if I didn't suspect it would immediately become a very expensive clothes rack.

So: gym good. I need to remember this feeling and use it as fuel to make myself go a few times a week. I'm not even paying for it! I have to drive past it to get out of the parking lot at work! And I feel excellent.