jlowe16655
I don't really think I thought about my weight until I was in my teens. Then people started to tease me about my butt. It's a family trait and of course I am the only girl and the youngest of 5 children. Now that I am older I know that all the teasing was not because I was fat my I had a nice butt. But tell that to a developing teen and instantly I thought I was fat. Over the years since I have fought my weight constantly. I was in a very abusive 1st marrage which didn't help my weight and scarred me for life in alot of ways. He was very physically and mentally abusive and my weight was always in the line of fire and kept increaseing accordingly. I now have a wonderful husband and three beautiful girls. I want to be a good example to my girls and my weight is a big insecurity and I don't want them to grow up seeing that or experienceing that themselves. My girs are 17, 11, and 8 and I love them so much. They are also why I want to have the surgery but also why I am so scared. I would be so ashamed if something happened to me and I wasn't there for them and they really need me now. My husband is not on the same page as me yet but I am not giving up. I have tried so many diets and exercise things over the years and just keep getting bigger and bigger. I am tired and want to be able to do more with my family. Funny I lost weight when I was pregnant instead of gaining, but afterwords I would get bigger. Just not fair. I am going to beat this thing once and for all. I want to be on the LOSER'S bench.
