jmwalker06

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 It seem like its been forever since I posted anything, and I intended to blog every moment of my journey but life kicks in and here it is over a month later.   This has been the most incredible thing I have ever done.  Sometimes its hard for me to comprehend that I did the surgery and how fast the weight has come off.  I'm anticipating the plateaus to come but for right now I'm loving it.  As of today I'm down 47 lbs.  I have my 2 month  post op with Blackstone on Monday and I'm hoping to get off those last 3 lbs so I can be at an even 50.  I have however found out that "meat" I could take it or leave it.  I think its just because its so much effort to eat it and I really haven't found any meat I truly like.  I have to make myself eat it and then supplement with protein shakes and bars to get somewhere near my 60-80 grams. The other thing I struggle with is fluid. I forget to drink, and then at the end of the day I'm trying to cram all my water in and then I pee all night! LOL!  I did find I'm able to drink pretty normally instead of the sip, sip think which made it seem like forever to get a bottle of water down.  I started lifting some weights and working my arms and chest, next will be to work the cardio in.  Oh how I wish I lived somewhere where the weather was at least still nice in the mornings.  It will be a long time before I will be able to get outside, summers are long here in AZ. 

 I haven't posted in a few days.  I finally got to eat a few days ago and boy was that a blessing.  I knew I was feeling hunger and my head was feeling really funny.  Anyway past that now!  It's really different eating now, I really pay attention to how I'm feeling as I eat.  Amazing to think and egg and few little pieces of watermelon could fill me up, but it does and feel so satisfied.  So far this surgery is doing exactly what I wanted it to do for me.  I'm so thankful for a speedy recovery, God is good and I feel great.  Better than I have felt in a very long time!  I'm trucking along now, averaging about 2lbs a day.  I know that will slow down eventually but I'm loving it for now!  I can't say I don't think about bad foods, but I want this more than anything and I will stay on track for as long as it takes.

 6 Days Post Op and I've cried the last 2 days.  I think I'm experiencing some depression already and I'm having buyer remorse.  I don't like this part at all.  It's great that I have lost 14lbs in the last 6 days but right now I'd rather be fat crazy as that may sound.  There are so many good things to come I know but the fog is clouding my vision.  I really feel I'm experiencing hungry and I feel like I'm starving.  My head feels funny....I just want some real food and nothing bad.  Chicken or Fish would be wonderful right now!  I have today and tomorrow to get through until real food.  Hoping I can make it.

 5 days post op and I'm doing pretty well, still struggling with the water.  I really feel it will get better after this week when I'm finally able to eat some real food.  When everything in your intake is liquid it makes it hard.  Plus I don't really like the liquid protein drinks that much, I thought I would but so far I only like the Lemon Tea.  Which is funny because I had a nurse in the hospital who had surgery 3 yrs ago and she told me the same thing.  Kind of freaked me out yesterday because I actually had a bowel movement which I wasn't expecting at all! I figure it must be from the protein drinks.  I had a dream about a cupcake early this morning.  Kind of funny I've never had a dream about food before even though I obviously liked it very much.  But in the dream I  was post op and I was like fooy I'm having this cupcake its not gonna hurt me! LOL!  Then I woke up.  Strange but comical. 

 4 days post op and I think I might have figured out the water thing.  I really have a hard time sipping right now so I was wracking my mind with what I could do to get my fluid in and a couple of things came to me.  ICE!  Sonic ice to be exact!  I had my husband get a bag and I've been chew ice all day and its much easier.  The other thing was that I know we can have herbal tea but I'm not a big fan of unsweetened tea so I thought, well why not make a flavored herbal tea and use some of my protein drink to sweeten it!!  I'm so happy!  Limitations do cause the mind to be creative!

3 days post op and I feel really bloated and burpy today.  Everytime I try to sip I get such a full feeling and it scares me cause I don't want to mess anything up but yet I have to get my fluids in.  Please tell me this will pass!!

 Feel angry kind of...I don't know if its fear of the unknown or what.  All I know is I want change!

 Completely bummed, surgery was rescheduled to the 24th of May!  Ugggg!!! 

I wanted to start this blog so I can journal my way through this journey to skinny as I call it.   It's 3 days till surgery and right now I just want it to be over.  Feeling nervous about how I'm going to feel.  Is it going to be easy or hard?  Am I going to feel sick or do just fine.  Everyone seems to be different.  I want my life back and I want be able to do all the things I used to do and more.  Also a little concerned about how it will change me or if it will or if it will change others around me.  All of these questions and more are soon to be answered.

And the journey begins!